Debate on suicide

[Natbee]

Today something dawned on me and I want to get other's opinion on it.

Through my journey over the past couple of years, I've noticed there seems to be two types of suicide. I could be wrong.

From a distance you get people who leave no note, who stay quiet and one day they're gone.

Then you get others in my opinion that make their struggles known and get to a point of despair to when they either commit suicide or attempt suicide?

Just curious on everyone's views

My husband's best friend although he struggled with Mental Health through the years one day he was gone no note, no reason why, his family looking for answers that they never got.

Curious on everyone's thoughts

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it can somewhat depend on the home environment/ culture in which we are raised. Whether we are encouraged to share our problems or, keep them to ourselves. Also- how much tolerance those around us have for issues like mental illness etc.

I wasn't exactly raised in an unsupportive environment but, there wasn't all that much tolerance for giving up, suicide, talk of mental illness. My Dad doesn't really believe in therapy. I get the sense he thinks it's people making too much fuss. Partly because he's gone through a lot without that support and probably assumes he made it through ok- so- why shouldn't others?

I imagine also- he probably fears and doesn't like the idea of parents getting blamed. I think he's a bigger proponent of individuals taking responsibility for themselves. I imagine we are greatly influenced by how our care givers raised us.

I think we learn through experience- how others around us react to what we say and reveal what we are struggling with. If all we get is a lecture on how others have it worse etc, we may learn it's better to stay quiet.

I expect men in particular are expected to be strong and cope. So- I think there is that too. People masking in order to live up to the expectations placed upon them.

As for people who speak up more. I imagine it's down to a range of things. Maybe they have perceptive and caring relations who believe it's important to share everything. Maybe they exhibit more obvious struggling behaviour that it's difficult for people to ignore. Maybe the attention they get is helpful.

 

[wine is fine but]

if i do it, the first option will be my choice
no note - not sure what you can really put in a note
it is impossible to cover 20 years of someone's life in a 90 minute telemovie, so to me, a few a4 pages of words will probably give more questions than answers. i cannot explain to myself how i feel, and why i want what i do, so there is no way i could somehow convey my feelings to someone who couldn't understand at all. if anything, my posts here would probably give a much clearer idea on my existence and my reasons, but no matter what you put, human nature means that whoever reads the note will ask questions that were not covered in the note, be they new questions, or just extensions of what the note said

as for speaking up - no, not at all
to me, and maybe me alone, once we admit to ourselves that we have a problem that cannot be fixed, we are beaten. i need to reassure myself that there is nothing wrong with me, even though i know something is not right. it is hard enough to keep getting up every morning and trying to function without knowing that it is close to impossible anyway. at the very least people will treat you differently, and i do not want that. if i am not good enough for something, then that is the way it is, but i do not want to survive from other's sympathy

the other problem with speaking up is that most people in this world do not play to people's strengths, they prey on their weaknesses. if they know you have a problem with something, they will find it funny to keep pushing in order to get a reaction. and when someone reacts, the introvert of the group who doesn't spend time under the boss'/most popular person's etc. table are the ones who get banished from the group, not those who cause the trouble

 

[voc_89]

I think a fair amount of people start as option 2. Then the note is found before hand or maybe after but it didn't work. Then you get an outpouring of support, love, promises, etc. Cause they 'never knew it was this serious'. It tides you over for a while. But you realize after some years that it was just an act. You retreat in your shell. You question everyone's intentions. Depending on your pysche this stage can be too much. So you do option 1 cause u don't want to live through that setup again. Just my take