WOODESITY
Experienced
- Mar 15, 2019
- 217
I'm sorry that you had to go through this life and everything that it has done to you, I hope and wish that you find peace. I somehow feel your suffering, wishing you peace 
Last seen 30 mins ago. I'm sure she's on with @avoid_slow_death and going through the process. If only there was a way to remedy the pain and destruction that destroys so many of us.
@avoid_slow_death prsyers to you as well. This isn't easy to be on either side.
@avoid_slow_death prsyers to you as well. This isn't easy to be on either side.
Erase.myself
My body is a prison
- Jan 4, 2020
- 198
Son of a bitch. I wasn't able to go through with it. Im not sure why but a half an hour ago I started feeling super nauseous and almost puked and that's weird because Meto is supposed to do the opposite. With me purging so many years , I also got scared that I would just fail at this specific method and especially after being naesus before the SN. I'm gonna have to find another method and time. :( Now I feel like shit with all this meto and hot sweating and diarrhea :(
Gonna abort this mission and eat and walk home. :(
Gonna abort this mission and eat and walk home. :(
Disintegration
Life is a terminal sexually transmitted disease.
- Sep 28, 2019
- 190
Rockman
Experienced
- Feb 9, 2020
- 208
gus.nixon
and now we rise and we are everywhere
- Apr 19, 2020
- 309
Listen to your gut. You'll have the rest of your life to kill yourself.
KleinerWolf
Account Wipe.
- Apr 30, 2020
- 2,700
Erase, don't be too harsh on yourself.
Take your time with the new method/if you still want to do it.
Feel better.
Our thoughts are with you.
It has to feel right. I know the one time I would have been successful if I had SN, I was possessed without hesitation.. but the method I used wasn't stong enough. If I had SN then I wouldn't be here..
maybe N?
maybe N?
enjolras
Dead are useless if not to love the living more
- Feb 13, 2020
- 1,293
Absolutely sorry for the interruption but you probably took the right decision if not feeling comfortable.
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Nightwillalwayswin
Member
- May 3, 2020
- 84
The bus isn't going anywhere. You can catch it whenever you're sure and ready or not at all if that is what you end up deciding. Whatever you choose takes courage and is right for you.
NekoNomNom
There is no right to heal the wrong
- May 3, 2020
- 248
You are perfectly fine. I've also failed in my last few attempts, as well, also at a hotel. Sometimes dying isn't always as easy as we think it is. If you're able to, perhaps stay at the hotel for the night. Get some uninterrupted rest and clear out your system. Think everything over, and maybe talk to somebody about anything that comes to mind. Binge watch TV and just be lazy.
Whatever you decide to do, I'm glad you shared your experience with us.
Whatever you decide to do, I'm glad you shared your experience with us.
LMLN
Paragon
- Aug 10, 2019
- 929
I'm glad you are staying. We are here.
We are here.
Alec
Wizard
- Apr 22, 2019
- 681
Please don't be too harsh on yourself, I think you are so brave and so damn strong!!! It's honestly natural you puked before SN, ctb is so nerve wrecking, and how can it not be?! Please stay safe, don't punish yourself, you did nothing wrong or bad, and you are most certainly NOT weak! Take care of yourself for now, be kind to yourself, you deserve it! Especially what you've just been through! You are incredible and I admire you and I wish you the all the best, and I hope that you will find what you are looking for. But in the meantime, relax, breath in and out, take a moment, and rest.
Love,
—Alec.
Love,
—Alec.
So so many hugs. I'm glad you're here
Donk
Useless since day 1
- Jan 3, 2020
- 1,129
avoid_slow_death
Ready to embrace the peaceful bliss of the void.
- Feb 4, 2020
- 1,243
Yeah, gotta admit I for one am glad it failed. But we talked about that and hell, even kinda made light of it. Still got your back my friend. Thoughts and prayers.
Quarky00
Enlightened
- Dec 17, 2019
- 1,956
Exactly , don't be hard on yourself . You've done everything well and you felt physically bad. I wouldn't call it SI , but if had serious physical discomfort before even taking SN , it's fine , this happens . It's not your fault . Take time to rest and remember how many here love and appreciate you and glad to see you safe (despite accepting your ctb)
I know it's very disappointing & annoying , everything planned hotel and all , you thought of everything , and it didn't work . Damn . You tried , you gave it your best , it didn't work -- you'll try again no worries . It's cool
"hot sweating and diarrhea" -- all that from meto ? .. Did you do a meto test before ctb day ?
I know it's very disappointing & annoying , everything planned hotel and all , you thought of everything , and it didn't work . Damn . You tried , you gave it your best , it didn't work -- you'll try again no worries . It's cool
"hot sweating and diarrhea" -- all that from meto ? .. Did you do a meto test before ctb day ?
Peace and respect to you! Our metaphorical bus is like the real-world city buses. If you missed or chose not to board one, another will come soon. You just gotta be organized, so you don't miss it. In the meantime, you can either make your life better and forget the bus entirely, or make sure your next bus is more reliable.
Remember one thing: whatever there is after this world, if it's there at all, it will never be as bad as the world you're leaving.
Remember one thing: whatever there is after this world, if it's there at all, it will never be as bad as the world you're leaving.
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Honestly, I'm so jealous that you guys have access to SN and other methods. I live in a shitty third world country that it's nearly impossible to find substances and equipment and also I live with my parents and have no income so i don't have the privacy and money to ctb.
I hope you won't suffer anymore and I'm so sorry that the world treated all of us in such a heartless way.
I hope you won't suffer anymore and I'm so sorry that the world treated all of us in such a heartless way.
InterstateFlowers
Experienced
- Apr 16, 2020
- 236
Nightwillalwayswin
Member
- May 3, 2020
- 84
They did not go through with it, on this occasion...
Bye bye, fellow human! Godspeed!
We all wish that. But if life is already hell over, how bad can hell truly be?
InterstateFlowers
Experienced
- Apr 16, 2020
- 236
I'm sorry. I just read the entire thread after getting the reply. I'm so sorry. For your sake, I hope the next attempt will work.
Suez
Experienced
- Feb 27, 2020
- 279
Gosh thats
Gosh thats really interesting and really unusual. In patients with anorexia nervosa it is typical to see increased gastric retention or delayed gastric emptying of a standard meal. So when you give Metachlopramide to a patient with anorexia nervosa what you actually see is acutely enhanced gastric emptying and chronically improved weight and gastrointestinal symptoms. Perhaps the most significantly improved Gastrointestinal symptoms experienced by patients taking Metachlopramide was their intolerance to epigastric pain &nausea&vomiting. This is why when you said how nauseus you felt and how you felt like puking i was amazed as it is so interesting to me as a Dr and because it almost goes against what we know,. The nerd in me!
oneofthoseyoudontwan
Life has no meaning if you can't feel love
- Mar 7, 2020
- 73
Erase.myself
My body is a prison
- Jan 4, 2020
- 198
Yeah its strange to me too. I know Meto is supposed to make you not naesea or vomiting. I feel so horrible about this whole thing . And spent the only money I had left on a hotel that I didn't even use. I really wish I would have just drank the SN :(
Exactly , don't be hard on yourself . You've done everything well and you felt physically bad. I wouldn't call it SI , but if had serious physical discomfort before even taking SN , it's fine , this happens . It's not your fault . Take time to rest and remember how many here love and appreciate you and glad to see you safe (despite accepting your ctb)
I know it's very disappointing & annoying , everything planned hotel and all , you thought of everything , and it didn't work . Damn . You tried , you gave it your best , it didn't work -- you'll try again no worries . It's cool
"hot sweating and diarrhea" -- all that from meto ? .. Did you do a meto test before ctb day ?
Thank you for your support. No I didn't give the Meto a test before I did this. I feel like I rushed into things because I got my prescription this morning and booked a hotel right after that as I already had the SN.
Im trying so hard to be gentle with myself but it so so difficult right now. I literally spent my only money I had, on the hotel and supplies needed to carry this out . I am terribly upset and wish so bad I would have just drank the SN....I was minutes away from doing it. Even called my friend and he's like you sound like you're gagging already. We also talked about this last night of maybe it's not the right method due to my physical reactions to things due to my eating disorder and 16 years of purging.
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enjolras
Dead are useless if not to love the living more
- Feb 13, 2020
- 1,293
Girls can also be more sensitive to Meto. You rushed it. It's bad luck. Maybe it's not to regret given your analysis... Hope you can survive for the time being until you reevaluate your options. It must be a complicated moment !
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