bluupup
he/him
- Jun 7, 2026
- 16
ive always had an issue with paraphilic thoughts, since I was a young kid. I've never acted on them btw, and I'm not planning on it. this is just a vent about how horrible the thoughts make me feel. Ive had zoophilia and necrophilia for a decade. 3 people died in my neighborhood this month. two today, one last week. I saw one today, and I cant take this shit anymore. my necrophilic thoughts are back and I'm so sick to my stomach because of it. I never wanted to think about this crap! I never even wanted to know this crap happened, I wanted to stay oblivious, but my father had to sabotage it. he got me to develop severe paranoia in the first grade by telling me "a plane can crash into our house any moment." "your school will get shot up one day, you know where we live." "we need to go, someone will die here." ect. I feel horrible, these thoughts wont go away, I cant sleep, I barely want to eat especially with my anorexia. I just want to kill myself so the thoughts go away, but then I think about what I'd look like dead, and the thoughts come flooding in AGAIN. I don't know how to make it stop please just help me I need help to make this shit go away. please someone give me advice. please. I cant take it anymore.
