Discussion Ctb 4th attempt tonight. Wish me luck.

[kufajoy]

Hopefully tonight is the night. Just took Midazolam to make my mind a letter unfreeze. Gonna sleep and wake up at midnight now. Will take another Midazolam tablet. Mix potassium chloride and propofol together in iv bag and start my diy infusion pump with 50ml per minute flow rate. Will be using a 20g cannula. I will inject lidocaine first so I can get less burn in veins.

Honestly I'm terrified. Idk why maybe something like afterlife god believes are still in my mind. Even though I don't practice Islam now but I'm still kindda afraid about what they teach me earlier.

Idk it I'm choosing the right method or not. I still have rope and sodium nitrite, benzo and metocol.

 

[darksouls]

good luck,
I wish you the best, I hope you find relief from suffering

 

[dewdfish]

I hope it all goes well and you reach peace

 

[ICan’tSeeTheLight]

Good luck! I hope you find the place you deserve

 

[kufajoy]

Update. Lost against my SI again. Veins collapsed and couldn't insert cannula. Tried multiple times on both hands but left with needles mark only ;)

I feel really hopeless and tired right now. I can't even have the guts to drink sn without profofol.