Could you love an ugly person?

[not_a_robot]

"Ugly", like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, so just go by your own perceptions. I tried to vary the responses to fit a range of options. Feel free to discuss.

In my experience, men who I previously found ugly became beautiful to me once I fell in love with their personality, but I think that's just how female hormones work. Proximity + oxytocin= "love".

 

[Severen]

No because most ugly people are ugly in the inside as well like most people on this Earth, so I'd rather just go for the sexy women. Because at least, I'm getting some eye candy out of it, instead of nothing.

Proximity + oxytocin= "love".

Spend enough time with any man and you will fall in love with him no matter what unless there is something wrong with his body and he doesn't release any bacteria to infect you so the mating process can't begin.

 

[AtomicNewt]

"Ugly", like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder, so just go by your own perceptions. I tried to vary the responses to fit a range of options. Feel free to discuss.

In my experience, men who I previously found ugly became beautiful to me once I fell in love with their personality, but I think that's just how female hormones work. Proximity + oxytocin= "love".

Think I now have an instant repulsion to so called beautiful people, been there, done that and they've mentally fucked me. Navel gazing too kind a phrase, more like heads stuck up sphincters. Yuck. All about someone's headspace. Weird and wonderful does it for me. Want to be curious and entertained. Most people are so bland and boring it leaves me cold.

The most intense love I've ever had was from a pretty much virgin in his thirties. Probably over share now! People that are motivated by looks usually have shitty relationships imho

 

[Severen]

Think I now have an instant repulsion to so called beautiful people, been there, done that and they've mentally fucked me. Navel gazing too kind a phrase, more like heads stuck up sphincters. Yuck. All about someone's headspace. Weird and wonderful does it for me. Want to be curious and entertained. Most people are so bland and boring it leaves me cold.

The most intense love I've ever had was from a pretty much virgin in his thirties. Probably over share now! People that are motivated by looks usually have shitty relationships imho

Most people are shitty. The people who have less going for them in the looks department just seem less shitty because they know their place in the nature order. They know, they aren't hot shit... If you take an ugly and obese person and make him or her into a super model, you will see what I mean. They will go 180 degrees on you.

 

[AtomicNewt]

Most people are shitty. The people who have less going for them in the looks department just seem less shitty because they know their place in the nature order. They know, they aren't hot shit... If you take an ugly and obese person and make him or her into a super model, you will see what I mean. They will go 180 degrees on you.

Most people are shitty. The people who have less going for them in the looks department just seem less shitty because they know their place in the nature order. They know, they aren't hot shit... If you take an ugly and obese person and make him or her into a super model, you will see what I mean. They will go 180 degrees on you.

Most people are shitty indeed! That's why I don't like people as a group. Would like to respond articulately but it's 2am and I'm slightly boated.

 

[blanketyblk]

I am the age where looks truly don't matter that much any more. i much rather have a relationship with a deep connection that one based sole on looks. but i could be bias as i'm not pretty so yeah. your miles may vary :-)

 

[inconsequential]

Beautiful people are great to look at, but usually way too put-together (mentally, emotionally, financially) for me. I need to be able to relate to the person, not a constant reminder that they're better than me.

 

[TimeToDie]

I am the age where looks truly don't matter that much any more.

What age would that be? I know that at some point looks have to stop mattering since I hear that there are folks in their 80s who still have active sex lives and folks that age tend not to be attractive, unless you have a fetish for wrinkles and saggy skin. Do grandma & grandpa fantasize about a vastly younger partner when they do it or are they sure to keep the lights on such that they can savor every last wrinkle?

 

[Orin]

This reminds me of a question i asked my former students:

"If given the choice, what would you prefer?

A) to be married to a person who was magically cursed to look ugly to every other person except yourself, but in reality, is the most beautiful person you have ever set eyes upon

B) or to be married to a sort of witch or warlock who casts an illusion to look beautiful to everyone else but yourself; in reality he/she is an ugly, almost grotesque creature.




Most of my students chose 'B'.

Needless to say, i was sorely disappointed.

 

[blanketyblk]

What age would that be? I know that at some point looks have to stop mattering since I hear that there are folks in their 80s who still have active sex lives and folks that age tend not to be attractive, unless you have a fetish for wrinkles and saggy skin. Do grandma & grandpa fantasize about a vastly younger partner when they do it or are they sure to keep the lights on such that they can savor every last wrinkle?

I'm early forties. I've got past my half way mark as my dad use to say.

 

[not_a_robot]

What age would that be? I know that at some point looks have to stop mattering since I hear that there are folks in their 80s who still have active sex lives and folks that age tend not to be attractive, unless you have a fetish for wrinkles and saggy skin. Do grandma & grandpa fantasize about a vastly younger partner when they do it or are they sure to keep the lights on such that they can savor every last wrinkle?

Old people sex is really not "active". They're more just pushing their fragile weak bodies through a pantomime of the act, trying to feel young, feel something. There's very little penetration involved, rarely a full erection. They're pushing rope.
I used to ask them why they still pursued the pretense of sex so many years after their body lost the ability to actually accomplish it. They would just say they needed it "to feel their manhood, to satisfy a woman".
I wanted to scream "but you CAN'T satisfy me!".
It made me so sad for them, that society induces men to base so much of their identity on something most of them can't live up to, and all will eventually lose.
Just like the standards of beauty do to women.

 

[blanketyblk]

Both sexes have it very hard in this world now. .1% of the population is what everyone society deems to be beautiful and what we all must aspire to. I'm sure it must be nice to be in that .1% but i bet it does get a bit lonely up there too.

must admit one of my pet peeves in how these social media influences are starting to take over my news sites. i really have no interest in them. but they are appearing all on different news sites now as if they are news worthy. i do truly worry where this world is headed.

but again i could be bias i guess there is some deep seated jealousy that i am not one of them..

 

[Cevapcici]

The sad thing about being an ugly woman, is , unlike men, you can't make up for bad looks with money, status and sexual performance in the dating market. I've met plenty of ugly confident men, because they were confident that that can please women (if you know what I'm saying).

I've accepted the fact that I'll never know what true love is because of my looks.

 

[Skathon]

Romantically? No (but it would depend on the species in a fantasy/another world).
Nevertheless, amputations, scars, wounds, discolouration and other "undead" traits are my favourite, therefore my definition of beauty is slightly... unusual.

 

[blanketyblk]

The sad thing about being an ugly woman, is , unlike men, you can't make up for bad looks with money, status and sexual performance in the dating market. I've met plenty of ugly confident men, because they were confident that that can please women (if you know what I'm saying).

I've accepted the fact that I'll never know what true love is because of my looks.

I totally understand, the expectation on a women for her looks are just so bloody ridiculous.

 

[TimeToDie]

I think I must have an entirely different definition of ugly than everyone else. I would think that by definition it's impossible to (romantically) love someone that you deem ugly. Am I totally wrong on this? Would you enter into a relationship with someone who's 85 if only they had a fantastic personality? What if they were 400 pounds?

Am I shallow for not wanting a woman who's heavy enough to crush me or nearly as old as my mother would been?

 

[Oblivion Lover]

I don't care that much about looks, but the person must have common sense and at least try to look presentable, otherwise it's just a big no-no. Brains and hygiene matter more to me, though.

 

[Darkhaven]

Meh to be honest, not being neither a handsome guy nor a freak, i would rather just stay alone than getting intimate with a "ugly" girl.
However, as you said, it's very subjective.
What's ugly for some may not be for others.
I'm actually very easy to impress. A bit of make up and some clean and well put clothes, and as long as the person has its hygienne up to date and i'm down for it.
As to the options there is isn't any for me.
I wouldn't "literally kill myself rather love an ugly person". I simply wouldn't get intimate with them and that's it.

 

[tomz323]

Its always really about who you make each other feel right?

 

[GinaIsReady]

I am a beautiful woman. I bid you I am one of the first among us to be preyed upon. I'm pretty sure it's because of my beauty and my smiley, warm personality. People do suck.

 

[RM5998]

I think I must have an entirely different definition of ugly than everyone else. I would think that by definition it's impossible to (romantically) love someone that you deem ugly.

I was going to write something along those lines, but then, you came along. However...

Would you enter into a relationship with someone who's 85 if only they had a fantastic personality? What if they were 400 pounds?

There probably are people who would want an 85-year-old, 400-pound soulmate.

The only girl I've ever loved wasn't beautiful by conventional standards, but I don't think I'll ever feel for anyone else that way ever again. And that was pretty much down to her personality.

 

[Bärchen]

This reminds me of a question i asked my former students:

"If given the choice, what would you prefer?

A) to be married to a person who was magically cursed to look ugly to every other person except yourself, but in reality, is the most beautiful person you have ever set eyes upon

B) or to be married to a sort of witch or warlock who casts an illusion to look beautiful to everyone else but yourself; in reality he/she is an ugly, almost grotesque creature.




Most of my students chose 'B'.

Needless to say, i was sorely disappointed.

Of course A. B doesent make any sense to me.

 

[Halo13]

This reminds me of a question i asked my former students:

"If given the choice, what would you prefer?

A) to be married to a person who was magically cursed to look ugly to every other person except yourself, but in reality, is the most beautiful person you have ever set eyes upon

B) or to be married to a sort of witch or warlock who casts an illusion to look beautiful to everyone else but yourself; in reality he/she is an ugly, almost grotesque creature.




Most of my students chose 'B'.

Needless to say, i was sorely disappointed.

Option A. That sounds like the description of most partners I've had. I tend to find unconventionally attractive people good looking to the extent people have said "you deserve better, they're ugly/gross!" I find that mentality ugly and gross because as @blanketyblk wrote, I'm too old to care about a relationship based on looks. I discovered early on some of the most attractive people can be the ugliest on the inside (this applies to both genders as I've dated both and the variations of identities in-between). Gay, straight, bisexual - it doesn't matter if I find them physically attractive if they don't have a connection based on trust, respect and communication.

The problem for me is finding the elements that truly matter versus any aspects of physical attributes. I really don't care about dating anymore, regardless. It seems like the definition of love in of itself varies from person to person to begin with. Just my two cents.

 

[RM5998]

This reminds me of a question i asked my former students:

"If given the choice, what would you prefer?

A) to be married to a person who was magically cursed to look ugly to every other person except yourself, but in reality, is the most beautiful person you have ever set eyes upon

B) or to be married to a sort of witch or warlock who casts an illusion to look beautiful to everyone else but yourself; in reality he/she is an ugly, almost grotesque creature.




Most of my students chose 'B'.

Needless to say, i was sorely disappointed.

I wonder why the 'but in reality' part is necessary. I'd choose A based on the first clause alone.

 

[LogicalConclusion]

When I first read the name of the thread, my initial thought was "No, absolutely not" but then I realized you meant based on physical appearance and...idk I guess that says a lot about my answer. I'm not attracted to "beauty" really...I've never cared whether other people thought my partner was "beautiful" or not. What interests me is who the person is, and I feel that that is where true beauty lies.

 

[Soul]

I missed the nonhypothetical option of currently loving someone many people consider ugly - but I don't know if he counts because he's that kind of ugly that's hot as hell. Charisma. Mojo. Animal magnetism. Whatever to call it.

My longterm partners have all been offbeat-looking. I seem to value individuality very highly.

 

[LifeIsNotFun]

It's weird how society is so obsessed with looks. Iroincally enough when we leave this Earth we all end up the same six feet under and looking alike.

 

[Severen]

Old people sex is really not "active". They're more just pushing their fragile weak bodies through a pantomime of the act, trying to feel young, feel something. There's very little penetration involved, rarely a full erection. They're pushing rope.
I used to ask them why they still pursued the pretense of sex so many years after their body lost the ability to actually accomplish it. They would just say they needed it "to feel their manhood, to satisfy a woman".
I wanted to scream "but you CAN'T satisfy me!".
It made me so sad for them, that society induces men to base so much of their identity on something most of them can't live up to, and all will eventually lose.
Just like the standards of beauty do to women.

Argh, TMI. One of the reasons why I'm CTBing.

I am a beautiful woman. I bid you I am one of the first among us to be preyed upon. I'm pretty sure it's because of my beauty and my smiley, warm personality. People do suck.

Most guys go for the average looking girls though. They don't want to go for the ugly ones for obvious reasons and they find the beautiful ones too intimidating(fear of rejection, humiliation etc). The guys who go for beautiful women are rare. Most of them, arrogant sociopaths, usually who want to get that trophy girlfriend or wife.

 

[Darkhaven]

Old people sex is really not "active". They're more just pushing their fragile weak bodies through a pantomime of the act, trying to feel young, feel something. There's very little penetration involved, rarely a full erection. They're pushing rope.
I used to ask them why they still pursued the pretense of sex so many years after their body lost the ability to actually accomplish it. They would just say they needed it "to feel their manhood, to satisfy a woman".
I wanted to scream "but you CAN'T satisfy me!".
It made me so sad for them, that society induces men to base so much of their identity on something most of them can't live up to, and all will eventually lose.
Just like the standards of beauty do to women.

Yeah, just to show how pathetic and feeble the meatsacks we call "bodies" are to the assault of time. There is no escape.

 

[Severen]

It's weird how society is so obsessed with looks. Iroincally enough when we leave this Earth we all end up the same six feet under and looking alike.

I used to think, it didn't make any sense. Why are these guys being so cruel to these girls who are fat or ugly etc? But I realized, it's because most people don't have anything special underneath the looks. Sociopaths know this, so they are just ahead of the curve. I've spent years trying to look past people's looks. Same results, every time. Sociopaths know a lot about human beings. I conducted my own experiments and found this to be true. Someone's level of attractiveness is no real indicator of their personality. It's more like, some people winning the lottery and some people losing the lottery.