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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Granted, but that instant feels like an eternity to you due to how sharply painful it is.

I wish I had time manipulation powers.
Granted, but every time you manipulate time, you get 10 years older.

I wish I could be more athletic.
 
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MiserableBastard1995

MiserableBastard1995

Experienced
Mar 17, 2018
291
Granted - but you must work out non-stop 18 hours a day or you'll lose it.

I wish I could find a pair of shoes that don't hurt all the time.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but the shoes look really ugly and stand out in a crowd. You will be judged when wearing them out in public.

I wish I could control exactly when I fall asleep and wake up.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Granted, but you miscalculate how much sleep do you need so you always feel tired.

I wish my hair was better looking.
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
Your hair becomes so good looking the world kidnaps you and cuts it all off out of envy each time it grows.

I wish my eyes were grey or green.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Your eyes are green, but you get a glaucoma.

I wish I was thinner.
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
You are thinner but are cold, shivering, and dizzy forever because you dont have enough nutrients.

I wish I knew the answers to everything.
 
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
Granted. You only get the answers when it's too late to use them.

I wish Euthanasia/Assisted Suicide was legal everywhere
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
Congrats, it's legal everywhere but you don't qualify for any program around the world.

I wish everyone here on SS was at peace.
 
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
Granted. Everyone on this site is at peace. The apocalypse happened and we all ran towards it instead of away.

I wish I could insert myself into any video game of my choosing and play it IRL
 
Last edited:
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Granted.
You are literally inserted in to a 8bit nes cartridge and can only play literally inside the game.

I wish I had deja vu again
 
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
Granted. You get deja vu for all mundane things and it drives you slowly insane as you constantly question your own mind.

I wish I knew how to drive a car
 
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Nature_is_God

Nature_is_God

The cause of suffering is the desire to exist
Jul 27, 2020
150
Granted. However, you can't drive forward for shit, only backwards. There are many limitations to that and police frequently pull you over.

I wish I could telepathically finish all of my college coursework without thinking about it and collect all the information from class.
 
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
Granted. The moment your papers and essays are written you promptly forget the information and will never be able to work in the field.

I wish I could grant wishes
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but they keep ending up corrupted for the person who makes the wish!

I wish housing costs were lower in my state.
 
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
Granted. The housing costs are lowee but only for buildings that should have been condemned and are unliveable.

I wish I was healthier and have lost a lot of weight
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but you can never eat anything that tastes good to you ever again and you're constantly tired.

I wish my classes were finished.
 
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
Dude that is literally how I am now. I'm constantly tired and I don't have an appetite and food tastes horrible. Why the hell did you curse me to this existence @Dr Iron Arc

Granted. So many students dropped out that the class was discontinued.

I wish I could speak any language in the world after only hearing or reading a small part of it once
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but you can only speak/know one language at a time. You have to hear/read a language again if you want to relearn it.

Dude that is literally how I am now. I'm constantly tired and I don't have an appetite and food tastes horrible. Why the hell did you curse me to this existence @Dr Iron Arc
.....Did you at least get healthier and lose weight?...

I wish you could find peace.
 
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
I did not and I have not lost much weight but it's going slowly.

Granted. I have found peace but it is only small pockets that never last long.

I wish dreams were real
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
I did not and I have not lost much weight but it's going slowly.

Granted. I have found peace but it is only small pockets that never last long.

I wish dreams were real
Granted but you can never remember them and you end up going insane confusing what is real and what is not.

I wish for ten English pounds
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but they're covered in blood. They're pounds of human flesh.

I wish I had more free time.
 
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AvaAdore

AvaAdore

When will it be?
Jul 20, 2020
159
Granted you have more free time but you also have a flea infestation at home.

I wish that everyone didn't have to work or worry about surviving.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but now everyone lives forever and can't die.

I wish the debate moderator was president instead of either Trump or Biden.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Granted, but he has dementia

I wish I could lose 85 lbs
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
granted, but it all comes from everywhere but your belly.

I wish I was funny.
 
Last edited:
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N

NotGonnaLast

Wizard
Mar 31, 2020
606
Granted. Everyone laughs at everything you say regardless of whether or not you were joking. You are never taken seriously again.

I wish I owned my own home
 
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Dead beat dad

Dead beat dad

Enlightened
Mar 5, 2019
1,030
Granted but your home is made of straw and you are a pig. It's depressing and cold and leaks. You wish a wolf would come and blow it down and gobble you up but the wolf is now a virtue signaling hipster vegan and just make you feel terrible about yourself.

I wish I was a little bit taller
 
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Lilacmoon

Lilacmoon

Beautiful moon, take me away.
Sep 23, 2020
1,308
Granted. Everyone else gains much more height than what you gain. You are even shorter in comparison now.

I wish I could stop starving myself.
 
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wonderworld

wonderworld

w̶o̶n̶d̶e̶r̶w̶o̶r̶l̶d̶
Jun 5, 2020
351
granted but everything u eat u cant taste.

i wish i was millionaire
 
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