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Leech

Leech

ɴᴏᴡ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴʟy ᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ'ꜱ ʀᴇᴀʟ
Aug 8, 2020
205
You die but you're stuck in a shitty purgatory that mimics much of your life while alive

I wish I had some wonton soup mmmm
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Granted! But the soup gives you diarrhea.

I wish I was 5 pounds thinner.
 
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Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
Granted, but instead of losing 5 pounds of fat, you lose five pounds of bones, so you can now no longer stand and your body is basically a puddle on the floor.

I wish I didn't hate myself
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but now you're so conceited that everybody else hates you.

I wish people weren't so stupid (myself included).
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Granted, but now you feel inadequate because others seem much smarter than you.

I wish I had nicer hair.
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
Granted. But, as it turns out, you have the genes of Cousin It:
FS9HQP8FMZADCXNLARGE


I wish I had better eyesight.
 
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Thinking

Thinking

Specialist
Jul 9, 2020
310
Granted, but now the entire world is pitch black so there is physically no light reflecting in the back of your eyes, effectively making you, and everyone else, completely blind.

I wish I could have a fresh fruit smoothie right now
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
Granted, but the only fruit available is durian. :ohhhh:

I wish it would stop raining!
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted. Here's a ten year drought!

I wish I wasn't allergic to anything.
 
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Blue LIPS

Blue LIPS

Ave Satanas
Jun 28, 2020
529
Granted, but everyone is allergic to you.


I wish I had an endless supply of weed
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish I had an endless supply of weed

Granted! You've won a mule plus 40 acres where high-quality weed is growing faster than you and your friends can smoke it, as long as you harvest it. Have fun!

I wish my poor sick cat were well. Be kind please people - he's really unwell
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Granted! Your cat gets better, but it also gets a thirst for human blood and maules you in your sleep.

I wish I was a different person.
 
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D

dieornottodie

Student
Aug 15, 2020
131
granted but it never works when you are on it
i wish i have loads of money in the bank to never have to work
 
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Isadeth

Isadeth

Visionary
Jun 12, 2020
2,543
Granted, but you're always fighting with the bank with withdrawls from your account so it's often frozen from error. The cycle repeats.

I wish I could fluently speak my husband's native language.
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Granted! You fluently speak your husband's native language, but you forget your own language.

I wish I was a child again.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted but...being a child these days already sucks...

I wish I had more motivation.
 
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Isadeth

Isadeth

Visionary
Jun 12, 2020
2,543
Granted. But you're only motivated to perform mundane tasks that don't accomplish much.

Again lol: I wish I was fluent in my husband's native language ♡
 
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mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

mahakaliSS_MahaDurga

Visionary
Apr 2, 2020
2,404
Granted. But you're only motivated to perform mundane tasks that don't accomplish much.

Again lol: I wish I was fluent in my husband's native language ♡

Hey, I corrupted that wish for you!

Granted! You fluently speak your husband's native language, but you forget your own language
 
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A

ArtsyDrawer

Enlightened
Nov 8, 2018
1,440
I wish I I didn't have to deal with absurd amount of paperwork to do anything!
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish I I didn't have to deal with absurd amount of paperwork to do anything!

Granted! No more paperwork; it's all on line now.

I wish the thunderstorm that's been hovering since yesterday would finally happen.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted...but the lightning sparks wildfires that spread throughout your area and create smoke making the air unbreathable. (This one was pretty easy since that just happened here in California. :tongue:)

I wish California wasn't so susceptible to wildfires.
 
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FriendofDeath

FriendofDeath

Elementalist
May 22, 2020
833
Granted! You learn instead of fires, all that orange stuff is lava, which flows to the ocean and leaves black sand beaches.

I wish I could help my mom do her bucket list.
 
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Deleted member 18655

Deleted member 18655

Enlightened
Jun 4, 2020
1,423
Granted. But on her list is "Prevent @FriendofDeath from dying before me."


I wish I could make it rain!
 
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Green Destiny

Green Destiny

Life isn't worth the trouble.
Nov 16, 2019
850
Granted. But on her list is "Prevent @FriendofDeath from dying before me."


I wish I could make it rain!
Granted, it's acid rain.
I wish I could drive a motorcycle.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
19,999
Granted, but that instant feels like an eternity to you due to how sharply painful it is.

I wish I had time manipulation powers.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,705
I wish I die this instant .

Granted! You die every instant, in myriads of parallel universes. You sparkle slightly each time.

I wish I knew how my cat got poisoned, so I can prevent it from happening again. He's an indoor cat, so there are limited possibilities.
 
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leiche

leiche

i need a cigarette
Aug 19, 2020
196
granted, but your cat will always make a sceptical face when you feed it!

i wish i could have an artificial body
 
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DetachedDreamer97

DetachedDreamer97

Enlightened
Mar 17, 2018
1,402
Wish: I want to die feeling good.
Granted: I die as I bust my nut to porn.
 
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