Can anyone hear Frank Sinatra?

[NitriteAnatomy]

May have posted it before, but what would I know. I'm just an idiot.
Feels, regardless.



This one is from personal experience. Wish I went.

 

[Jean4]

Hei @Stan, thank you for everything. You gave me hope 3 weeks ago with your PMs telling me that my situation can change. Additionally, you helped me with the SN method, in case it doesn't. It feels by now that it will never change and I'm struggling with setting the time on when to cross over. Send me a sign, if you can, I'm so lost by now, I can't see any future anymore.

I'm not Stan. Nobody is or ever will be, but I am here if you want to talk.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

Rest in peace Stan. I think this is the most commented Goodbye Thread. With all respect, anyone knows how much SN did he take?

 

[Jean4]

Rest in peace Stan. I think this is the most commented Goodbye Thread. With all respect, anyone knows how much SN did he take?

Doing a stat dose

AE Buccastem
200mg of tramadol for pain relief and a bit of mental well being
otc antacid

20gm of SN in 50ml of water (making a few glasses - will drink them till the job is done - no coming back, no failure)

Honestly, I don't know how much. He planned on banning himself, which he didn't do.

It's speculation, but we all know he would have banned himself to protect the forum. I think it hit him before he was able to.

Daily, I feel this way and I know you must of, too. No matter the difference in age. I know that we've all suffered in this manner, no matter our other reasons for wanting to cash our tickets. Still, I hope you found it. I hope you found that peace we all seek in our waking moments, even though it took you going that extra step to find it. At least, now, you are where you feel you truly belong and I can only hope to experience, as well, one day. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow, but I know I'll be able to join you and Caileb, one day. Make sure he's enjoying himself, too, will you?


Damn me. Damn me for having to vanish from food poisoning or any fucking reason. There were people I wanted to say goodbye to, that are now gone. I truly hope they weren't upset with me for it or felt I didn't care. I do care, but just wasn't in the proper health to tell them......now, I have that extra bit of guilt on my shoulders, because no matter what's said or done, I wasn't here. That's all I see and now you're all gone, without knowing that I hope you all were able to go into that sweet embrace, peacefully. Survivor's guilt? Nah, this is a survivor built to fail. Someone that is weak and pathetic. What would I know, I'm just a stranger on the fucking net, everyone will be quick to point that out, I'm willing to bet.

Fuck the feelings, fuck the dealings, we're all here to leave a print and gone in a flash. But all these fuckers do is bash, all they do is hate, equate or attempt to relate. Can they truly know? Do they hear from the great beyond? Only time will tell, maybe I'll know when I, too, am gone.

Go to their page and wish them a goodbye. I have missed some. Apologized to them for missing them and wished them peace.
It's going to be a bad day today. Not good when you wake up crying.

Will keep as busy as I can. Will chant your mantra that it isn't my time yet.

I am going back and forth damn you for leaving and I know you had to and I am glad your pain is over.

Yes. Today I am being selfish. Damn you from leaving. Damn you. Will now force myself to shower, brush my teeth, and wash the dishes. That will be an accomplishment today.

I miss you.

 

[Jean4]

Bad day. Bad day. Will force to push on one second of the time.

 

[R_N]

I am still fairly new to this forum so I don't know much about Stan but it is really nice seeing how liked he is here. It is nice that people still care and I bet he was awesome as a person.

 

[Jean4]

Did I mention today was a bad day? It's only getting worse. I'm still here though.

 

[NitriteAnatomy]

@Stan @Jean4

For you two.

 

[Jean4]

Stan are you working from above? I just gave @NitriteAnatomy a job. Bringing people together.

 

[Jean4]

 

[Mloureiro]

Miss you...

 

[Not_Quite_Dead_Yet]

Oh, no. So sad to just have read this thread. Didn't know Stan well but read what he wrote with admiration for his intelligence, insight and wry humor. What a loss to the forum and this world. Peace to Stan and everyone here.

 

[Jean4]

Better. A lot better than this morning.

 

[Jean4]

The day started out unbearable. Because better later on. Thank you.
Tomorrow we do it again.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

It's amazing to see how many hearts he touched. He had a certain charm and charisma about him for sure.

 

[Jean4]

Morning.
I am late this morning. Being laying here.
I am not in excruciating pain and crying this morning. Will try to get some things done before the pain comes back.
6 more days until Chanukah and 7 until Christmas Eve.

 

[Jean4]

Came to check in, and you were getting too low for comfort. Pain is not here right now. Let's try to keep it that way.

 

[Jean4]

I apologize. Let your post go too low.

 

[Jean4]

 

[lymbo]

anybody knows the reasons for stan''s wysh to dye, he was very pryvate person but styll he must have mentyoned to someone hys struggles>?

 

[Jean4]

anybody knows the reasons for stan''s wysh to dye, he was very pryvate person but styll he must have mentyoned to someone hys struggles>?

Because sometimes the pain is so great that the love doesn't matter.

 

[throwaway_2620]

 

[Jean4]

tomorrow we do it again.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Another One

 

[Jean4]

Just woke up after having one of my horrible nightmares. You would have been up already due to the time differences. I just wrote you telling you.... even though the message will go unread.

Have a horrible headache. Will try to get some more sleep.

 

[Jean4]

Morning.
Yes. I should be sleeping. Still a little off, but didn't wake up crying. Always good!
Today is impeachment day in the USA. I know you are sitting back watching the festivities!

 

[BecauseOfMyPurpose]

@Jean4
I am no one on this forum. New and inconsequential.
But it warms my entire soul that you keep Stans thread at the top.
He was so loved by the majority of the community and clearly by you.
Im sorry for whatever has brought you here and I'm sorry that Stan is no longer with us.
You're doing beautiful work by keeping his memory alive.

 

[Jean4]

@Jean4
I am no one on this forum. New and inconsequential.
But it warms my entire soul that you keep Stans thread at the top.
He was so loved by the majority of the community and clearly by you.
Im sorry for whatever has brought you here and I'm sorry that Stan is no longer with us.
You're doing beautiful work by keeping his memory alive.

Don't say you are no one. You are here, so you are family.

I promised I would not follow him. This helps me stay here. I also want the newbies to know who was and the old timers to always remember. He will be welcoming everyone when it is time.

I also want this post to have more posts that the SN megathread that drove him crazy ;)

Thank you for those kind words :)

 

[Lethe]

I'm sorry I missed you in your last moments, Stan : (

You were a beacon of sanity on this forum, you will be sorely missed.

 

[Jean4]

I'm sorry I missed you in your last moments, Stan : (

You were a beacon of sanity on this forum, you will be sorely missed.

Come here and talk to him when you need to. I do. And remember. He is always here. ;)
I do like this one.