Anyone struggle with the "God stuff"?

[OmnipresentSoul]

I'll be honest.....I was raised in church and i do believe in God. I'm not one to say that there's some firm stance on suicide, but my understanding is that something as serious as trying to take power over life and death would be for God to decide. Most days....every day actually, that is the only thing that keeps me here. I have this deep fear, if you can call it that, that ending it would be my final mistake and I can't take it back. But I'm extra stuck. Being afraid to die as the only reason to stay alive is no way to live. I feel like I'm stuck in this snow globe. Watching the whole world go by, knowing I can never be part of it or be happy, but I can't break myself out either. So I'm just stuck. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm afraid to take that leap but I'm equally afraid to face the rest of my life if every day is like this. Help??

Do you feel doomed? Because that's what I feel like. And apparently loads of people feel like it

 

[autumnal]

I'll be honest.....I was raised in church and i do believe in God. I'm not one to say that there's some firm stance on suicide, but my understanding is that something as serious as trying to take power over life and death would be for God to decide. Most days....every day actually, that is the only thing that keeps me here. I have this deep fear, if you can call it that, that ending it would be my final mistake and I can't take it back. But I'm extra stuck. Being afraid to die as the only reason to stay alive is no way to live. I feel like I'm stuck in this snow globe. Watching the whole world go by, knowing I can never be part of it or be happy, but I can't break myself out either. So I'm just stuck. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm afraid to take that leap but I'm equally afraid to face the rest of my life if every day is like this. Help??

I'm an atheist, so if anything, God struggles with the 'me stuff'!