I think everywhere men are expected to be more proactive. Unless they still practice arranged marriages. I agree that girls in other parts of the world tend to be more proactive and more down-to-earth. In the west women tend to have such high expectations it is ridiculous. Then again, not attractive girls are facing the same issues.
I think everywhere men are expected to be more proactive. Unless they still practice arranged marriages. I agree that girls in other parts of the world tend to be more proactive and more down-to-earth. In the west women tend to have such high expectations it is ridiculous. Then again, not attractive girls are facing the same issues.
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
LONE WOLF.
PUNISHER.
- Nov 4, 2020
- 1,988
"Virgin's" Right you'll be telling me that Unicorns and Bigfoot exist next? What about a honest politician! Do they exist as well?
Arvinneedstodie
Existing is not living
- Sep 17, 2018
- 198
26 year old virgin here. A couple years ago I was sitting in the back of a bus near a bunch of confident and loud college girls and they were talking about sex and their extensive experiences. Fk man in that moment I wanted to eject out of that bus and fly into another world where I didn't have to feel so much pain and loneliness. I wish I didn't care, but I did and I still do.
To people saying sex isn't a big deal: sex is a very big fking deal with lots of very big and deep things connected to it. The topic of sex and sexuality is deep and complex with important implications that influence everything about life. Sure, the actual act of sex can be done at request with escorts, but the actual sex is just a small piece of a much larger equation. If it's just the act of sex that's bothering me then I would have just paid up and be done with it, but I didn't because that's not the point. Things went so wrong that I didn't develop properly into a healthy person with healthy social life, and I never grew and reached the point where I can say "sex is not a big deal". That's the point.
To people saying sex isn't a big deal: sex is a very big fking deal with lots of very big and deep things connected to it. The topic of sex and sexuality is deep and complex with important implications that influence everything about life. Sure, the actual act of sex can be done at request with escorts, but the actual sex is just a small piece of a much larger equation. If it's just the act of sex that's bothering me then I would have just paid up and be done with it, but I didn't because that's not the point. Things went so wrong that I didn't develop properly into a healthy person with healthy social life, and I never grew and reached the point where I can say "sex is not a big deal". That's the point.
Hey... As someone who has been both a virgin and not-a-virgin, I can say that fulfilling emotional relationships are far more satisfying. At the end of the day, one can live without sex, but one cannot live without emotional fulfillment. As shown by many people's experience post-pandemic...
It's understandable that someone who hasn't had sex could feel like this is an understatement by someone who has had sex... I absolutely understand that. I've been widowed for over 5 years and no interest in any physical relationship, but ultimately, the reason I want to CTB is my lack of ability to connect emotionally with people. I can't live with that. I haven't seen any friends in 2.5 years, the physical aspect of hugging, I could do without. But lack of emotional connection is killing me...
I did not have a single date until my mid-20s. I had no idea what other people did, (yes I'm old, no internet) so I just did whatever I wanted... Sports, movies, tv, shopping... the usual... (at the time).
Everyone has a different life history, no matter how old or young you are. Fulfilment in life takes on many shapes and forms.
It's understandable that someone who hasn't had sex could feel like this is an understatement by someone who has had sex... I absolutely understand that. I've been widowed for over 5 years and no interest in any physical relationship, but ultimately, the reason I want to CTB is my lack of ability to connect emotionally with people. I can't live with that. I haven't seen any friends in 2.5 years, the physical aspect of hugging, I could do without. But lack of emotional connection is killing me...
I did not have a single date until my mid-20s. I had no idea what other people did, (yes I'm old, no internet) so I just did whatever I wanted... Sports, movies, tv, shopping... the usual... (at the time).
Everyone has a different life history, no matter how old or young you are. Fulfilment in life takes on many shapes and forms.
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
I feel like ultimately it isn't about just merely the act of sex. If it was, then I feel like every virgin would have requested the services of a prostitute. It is about feeling desired, feeling loved, and feeling like you have a place in life, that you're important to somebody, anybody. I guess you can have a place in life without needing somebody (not limited to a romantic/sexual partner either) but I am having a hard time believing that.
Zegers
Enlightened
- Dec 15, 2021
- 1,761
The world is getting lonelier and lonelier and i have the feeling that only those who are fine in all areas of life can live, the others are like outcasts in an indirect way.
locked*n*loaded
Archangel
- Apr 15, 2022
- 7,260
For the guys: There are plenty of girls out there who, too, are virgins, because they never, ever got a second glance because they're to __________________ (fill in the blank)
For the girls: There are plenty of guys out there who, too, are virgins, because they never, ever got a second glance because they're to __________________ (fill in the blank)
Why aren't these people getting together? I'll tell you why. Because no one wants to lower their expectations enough and look past the ugliness, the fat, etc. If you look past the "less than perfect" physical attributes of someone, and get to know what's on the inside, what really makes a person worth knowing, what's in their heart, the real person, and see them for who they are, and not how they look, maybe you'll be able to find yourself a sex partner, maybe even a life partner and a best friend. But, everyone always wants the ideal.
For the girls: There are plenty of guys out there who, too, are virgins, because they never, ever got a second glance because they're to __________________ (fill in the blank)
Why aren't these people getting together? I'll tell you why. Because no one wants to lower their expectations enough and look past the ugliness, the fat, etc. If you look past the "less than perfect" physical attributes of someone, and get to know what's on the inside, what really makes a person worth knowing, what's in their heart, the real person, and see them for who they are, and not how they look, maybe you'll be able to find yourself a sex partner, maybe even a life partner and a best friend. But, everyone always wants the ideal.
Fthis
Student
- Dec 8, 2020
- 192
Well I'm 20 and a virgin right now but I've dated a few people, having sex just hasn't really felt right yet, like the moment hasn't came and i don't wanna force it
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
There's a lot of people out there who hardly leave their homes. I'm one of them
although I am definitely making bigger strides in fixing my anxiety
NotHuman
Member
- Jul 8, 2018
- 43
Virgins want emotional connection as well, it's just that we recognize pursuing it before clearing the developmental milestones to be putting the cart before the horse. The people who enter their 30s without any experience are not the kind of people that others will seek to form any kind of a relationship with.
Those lucky enough to have escaped early enough may not be aware of just how heavy the stigma gradually becomes. Essentially life puts the kids who failed to grow up onto a separate developmental track. While all of the adults will pair off with one another, those excluded find themselves further and further estranged from the human race.
Conversations become all about sex, relationships, kids, family trips, and houses. Your co-workers become even more judgmental of how you spend your free time. Your friends disappear once they have their spouses and eventually kids leaving you to be one of the only people who will go to restaurants, bars, etc. all by yourself. By this point all meetup groups will either be established cliques of regulars or chaotic free-for-alls where you get to relive the same conversation over and over with hundreds of acquaintances who will quickly decide they want nothing further to do with you because you simply don't live the same kind of life that they do. What scant few singles are left at social venues will usually have their guards way up from past relationships and gravitate towards the people who are more successful and charismatic than you.
So when somebody tells us that sex is not that great and totally overrated and they'd give it a 2/5 on Yelp, they completely miss the point. Having these core human experiences makes you eligible for more in life. Reaching these milestones is the difference between a life of connecting, of adventures, of memories and a lifetime of numbing yourself on alcohol, Netflix, and work so you can avoid looking around at all of the things you are missing out on including fulfilling emotional relationships. After all, why should anybody settle for someone who could only satisfy their emotional needs when most people have physical needs as well?
Those lucky enough to have escaped early enough may not be aware of just how heavy the stigma gradually becomes. Essentially life puts the kids who failed to grow up onto a separate developmental track. While all of the adults will pair off with one another, those excluded find themselves further and further estranged from the human race.
Conversations become all about sex, relationships, kids, family trips, and houses. Your co-workers become even more judgmental of how you spend your free time. Your friends disappear once they have their spouses and eventually kids leaving you to be one of the only people who will go to restaurants, bars, etc. all by yourself. By this point all meetup groups will either be established cliques of regulars or chaotic free-for-alls where you get to relive the same conversation over and over with hundreds of acquaintances who will quickly decide they want nothing further to do with you because you simply don't live the same kind of life that they do. What scant few singles are left at social venues will usually have their guards way up from past relationships and gravitate towards the people who are more successful and charismatic than you.
So when somebody tells us that sex is not that great and totally overrated and they'd give it a 2/5 on Yelp, they completely miss the point. Having these core human experiences makes you eligible for more in life. Reaching these milestones is the difference between a life of connecting, of adventures, of memories and a lifetime of numbing yourself on alcohol, Netflix, and work so you can avoid looking around at all of the things you are missing out on including fulfilling emotional relationships. After all, why should anybody settle for someone who could only satisfy their emotional needs when most people have physical needs as well?
Last edited:
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
Time is a massive enemy. I guess people aren't really lying when they say "life is short". I look at Erik Erikson's 8 stages of development a lot, and I wonder just how many people aren't going through the stages as they are intended.
GenesAndEnvironment
Autistic loser
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,739
Gotta post this again:
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgflip.com%2F6e3pqn.jpg&hash=f30359b229f35ebdae503c02db5a00ed
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.imgflip.com%2F6e3pqn.jpg&hash=f30359b229f35ebdae503c02db5a00ed
Marktheghost
Paragon
- Feb 20, 2020
- 911
Didn't have sex until I was 26 for physical reasons (body broken). Spent a lot of time pretending I'd done it before and doing what I thought the other person wanted to do. Have a lot of trauma attached to being so broken for so long
Zegers
Enlightened
- Dec 15, 2021
- 1,761
This is basically the average tinder user lol
It's not a wise viewpoint to seek approval from others.
I don't care about those social standards, i don't give a f about all those social standards and i don't care about random people's minds. Feel good is the fact, that's basically it and its not about sex. you're basically saying sex is like a passport or something.
So sex is good? it is but it wont change your life.
NotHuman
Member
- Jul 8, 2018
- 43
It's a rite of passage. Is it arbitrary? Sure. But like any rite of passage it holds power precisely because the culture assigns it value. You can attack it and mock it all you like, it won't change the reality; people will judge, and they judge harshly.
I care about those social standards because being an outcast is incredibly taxing. Just being able to participate in a conversation with people my own age would do wonders for my mental state.
I care about those social standards because being an outcast is incredibly taxing. Just being able to participate in a conversation with people my own age would do wonders for my mental state.
Life interrupted
Trapped in life
- Mar 18, 2022
- 135
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
Practically every conversation now revolves around sexuality in some way shape or form. It has a stranglehold over society, it always has, and it always will.
Life has one agenda, to multiply and thrive. I suppose you really cannot change something so fundamental.
Marktheghost
Paragon
- Feb 20, 2020
- 911
I always wanted to wait until I'm married before having sex. I'm concerned about the possibility of never getting married now though. I don't want to go through the whole of my existence without ever doing it.
Who do I do it with though? I haven't even got any female friends! I don't even know any women well enough to even discuss how I'm feeling at all, never mind ask if she'd be willing to actually do it!
Who do I do it with though? I haven't even got any female friends! I don't even know any women well enough to even discuss how I'm feeling at all, never mind ask if she'd be willing to actually do it!
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
You can't. Maybe the afterlife is completely sexless... if there is one. I hope I'm some disembodied spirit.
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
imagine you die and wake up outside your body, but horny as fuck and you can't even play with yourself or interact with anyone
castler
Enlightened
- Jul 11, 2022
- 1,206
I'll die tryin {pun intended} one could possibly 'ghost hump' something/one, no?
WhatPowerIs
Paragon
- Jun 19, 2022
- 967
If my first emotion after dying is feeling horny, I'm going to try and look for an after-after-life
24 year old virgin here. I mean technically not a virgin because I did have sex with escorts a few times but haven't had a relationship or anyone like me.
I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn't. You will see your friends getting married on social media and it will devastate you.
Superdeterminist
Enlightened
- Apr 5, 2020
- 1,877
I personally won't see that because I'm not on any social media and that's one of the main reasons why...No way I'm subjecting myself to that
Similar threads
