Angel of Spades
barely keeping it together
- May 23, 2023
- 86
Actually this incident really refocused my priorities. It was late at night and I was driving on unfamiliar roads for the first time, and I almost got into an accident on a turn. I think it was my fault, but I can't be entirely sure since I've never been back to that area since then.
It really refocused what I wanted, though, and my first thoughts were about leaving messages for the people who I value the most. Once I was safe and over the shock of it, though, all I could think about was how I wished the accident had actually happened and I was dead. It feels like the easiest and, honestly, luckiest method I can think of. I feel guilty about it, because it would have been my fault most likely, but at the same time I can't help but fantasize about what would have happened.
It really refocused what I wanted, though, and my first thoughts were about leaving messages for the people who I value the most. Once I was safe and over the shock of it, though, all I could think about was how I wished the accident had actually happened and I was dead. It feels like the easiest and, honestly, luckiest method I can think of. I feel guilty about it, because it would have been my fault most likely, but at the same time I can't help but fantasize about what would have happened.
