What are the easiest things to get? Can i get sodium nitrate in person without looking suspicious? I'm hoping that if I can take similar pills as last time and mix it, it'll help.
It's going to be hard because I had a substance that lowered my inhibitions and I would have to get more, stock up or something similar
Another issue: apparently last time I fell and I couldn't stop screaming. According to my last od it was "the loudest sound they ever wear" eventually stopped screaming on the gurney but my best guess between the i fell (which is when I texted somebody gibberish) and the time I was on the gurney was probably 40 minutes. Screaming for 40 minutes would definitely alert somebody that something was happening. Id be alone instead of with roommate, in my apartment. Someone will probably call for help if they hear screaming.
I really don't know what would sedate me enough to prevent that since I took something highly sedating during my OD. My worries is if I took something beforehand, I wouldn't be able to do what I need to do to CTB
Basically, I just want to prevent all the failures as before
I think getting DNR would also look too suspicious as I attempted last September and I wouldn't wanna raise any red flags with my doctors, though if I had a DNR last time I would've been successful
It's going to be hard because I had a substance that lowered my inhibitions and I would have to get more, stock up or something similar
Another issue: apparently last time I fell and I couldn't stop screaming. According to my last od it was "the loudest sound they ever wear" eventually stopped screaming on the gurney but my best guess between the i fell (which is when I texted somebody gibberish) and the time I was on the gurney was probably 40 minutes. Screaming for 40 minutes would definitely alert somebody that something was happening. Id be alone instead of with roommate, in my apartment. Someone will probably call for help if they hear screaming.
I really don't know what would sedate me enough to prevent that since I took something highly sedating during my OD. My worries is if I took something beforehand, I wouldn't be able to do what I need to do to CTB
Basically, I just want to prevent all the failures as before
I think getting DNR would also look too suspicious as I attempted last September and I wouldn't wanna raise any red flags with my doctors, though if I had a DNR last time I would've been successful
