I can relate.  I have done quite a lot of therapy at this point, and I'm so sick of trying to explain what's going on.  It's exhausting and I don't have the vocabulary to fully describe it.  It's deep and unrelenting.  That's all I've got and that doesn't even do it justice. 
I hope you manage to find some small comfort to get you through the night. (Or day, depending on what time zone you are in)   I wish I had some advice, but all I can say is you are not alone.