
I Me & Myself
scared of change
- Sep 9, 2025
- 31
This is so weird to talk about.
Basically I just sometimes look at myself and wonder "What the hell am I doing? Just snap out of it" And then I fucking snap out of it. And boom. Healed. At least for a moment.
The more I think about my mental disability, the more it affects me. If I just stop thinking about it; I rarely ever get flare ups/need support.
This is even worse because I know I crave attention/support and I'm worried I'm faking my disability to get that. And I'm worried I don't even have it and I just faked the whole diagnosis (Maybe I give myself too much credit here). I recently re read the doctor's letter and some of it I don't even remember saying and it's like. Doesn't apply to me at all.
Panic attack? just snap out of it. meltdown? just snap out of it and it works and i should be happy that it works
it doesn't help that i have hypochpndric tendencies so i do actually read into some stuff too much and i fail to differentiate that fromm when i actually need support.
I know for sure though, I'm at least not faking the depression. God I wish I was. Snapping out of that or suicidal thoughts would be neat (trust me, I tried).
Note: Please do not reassure me I'm not faking it. You do not know me. Any other sort of advice (e.g. how to bring this up to a professional) is appreciated tho.
Basically I just sometimes look at myself and wonder "What the hell am I doing? Just snap out of it" And then I fucking snap out of it. And boom. Healed. At least for a moment.
The more I think about my mental disability, the more it affects me. If I just stop thinking about it; I rarely ever get flare ups/need support.
This is even worse because I know I crave attention/support and I'm worried I'm faking my disability to get that. And I'm worried I don't even have it and I just faked the whole diagnosis (Maybe I give myself too much credit here). I recently re read the doctor's letter and some of it I don't even remember saying and it's like. Doesn't apply to me at all.
Panic attack? just snap out of it. meltdown? just snap out of it and it works and i should be happy that it works
it doesn't help that i have hypochpndric tendencies so i do actually read into some stuff too much and i fail to differentiate that fromm when i actually need support.
I know for sure though, I'm at least not faking the depression. God I wish I was. Snapping out of that or suicidal thoughts would be neat (trust me, I tried).
Note: Please do not reassure me I'm not faking it. You do not know me. Any other sort of advice (e.g. how to bring this up to a professional) is appreciated tho.