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wait i'm goated
- Feb 12, 2023
- 328
i'm sure similar questions have been posted before, so i apologize.
i don't think anyone will miss me at all. none of my family members really care and i have no friends. everyone i meet is seemingly indifferent to my existence. everyone leaves me very easily, i'm just not the kind of person to be missed? i'm not special enough to be missed in any regard. there's no aspect of my being that elicits a sense of attachment.
i feel like i get attached to everyone and everything pretty easily, so that makes everything so much worse. i miss everything as soon as it's gone, so it sucks that i don't evoke such a feeling in anyone else.
my cats might miss me, but they also love my brothers. they'll be okay, i think i overestimated my cats' love for me.
that's all. i doubt anyone else will even think of me for more than a day.
vent incoming
today, my brother randomly asked me about some of my past friends. i talked about my friends very often because i cherished them. they all kinda left around the same time, near the beginning of the year. the conversation was really difficult and awkward, i just said that i don't speak to them as much because i'm too busy. i don't know if he bought that, i just wanted to end the conversation without admitting that i'm a loser who lost literally everyone. he knows that i spent most of my life without friends, i couldn't bring myself to admit that i was back in that position, especially after being so happy about the friends that i had made.
he said things like "whatever happened to x friend? they like [franchise] so they must be a good person", and asking about the games i used to play with my friends. he was mostly joking around, the conversation wasn't serious at all. it really upset me, it just reminded me of the people i miss, and then i started spiraling from there. i do badly enough when i torment myself over these feelings, having another person remind of everything just makes it so much worse.
i don't think anyone will miss me at all. none of my family members really care and i have no friends. everyone i meet is seemingly indifferent to my existence. everyone leaves me very easily, i'm just not the kind of person to be missed? i'm not special enough to be missed in any regard. there's no aspect of my being that elicits a sense of attachment.
i feel like i get attached to everyone and everything pretty easily, so that makes everything so much worse. i miss everything as soon as it's gone, so it sucks that i don't evoke such a feeling in anyone else.
my cats might miss me, but they also love my brothers. they'll be okay, i think i overestimated my cats' love for me.
that's all. i doubt anyone else will even think of me for more than a day.
vent incoming
today, my brother randomly asked me about some of my past friends. i talked about my friends very often because i cherished them. they all kinda left around the same time, near the beginning of the year. the conversation was really difficult and awkward, i just said that i don't speak to them as much because i'm too busy. i don't know if he bought that, i just wanted to end the conversation without admitting that i'm a loser who lost literally everyone. he knows that i spent most of my life without friends, i couldn't bring myself to admit that i was back in that position, especially after being so happy about the friends that i had made.
he said things like "whatever happened to x friend? they like [franchise] so they must be a good person", and asking about the games i used to play with my friends. he was mostly joking around, the conversation wasn't serious at all. it really upset me, it just reminded me of the people i miss, and then i started spiraling from there. i do badly enough when i torment myself over these feelings, having another person remind of everything just makes it so much worse.
