Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
I decided to remove all my friends from my life, many years ago. Most of them were sociopaths and annoying to deal with, as well. I'm not lonely, because I have myself to keep me company.
ScorpiusDragon
Mage
- Mar 25, 2019
- 593
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
Outside of here, none. All the people I know IRL only contact me when they need something and ignore me the rest of the time.
I technically have one, but I know she's only friends with me because I have no one else. So basically no one
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
Sociopaths only contact you when they need something because they see people as just tools.
I don't have anybody because I don't want to but because they've all left me. I can't entertain myself or keep myself company.
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
Whenever I need them I just get empty word and I get forgotten again. I don't remember the last time someone started a conversation with me.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
Yes but the second you have a lot of $$$... LOL
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
Who wants to be around people like that anyway? I would toy with them constantly before giving them even $1.
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
When starved for human contact, fake friends are still better than noen.
ScorpiusDragon
Mage
- Mar 25, 2019
- 593
Unfortunately, I can relate to this.
I don't know if I agree. Surrounding myself with fake friends makes me feel lonelier than actually being alone.
Then yea. Aside from my boyfriend, I have a close online friend. I met him on r/SuicideWatch on Reddit. Unfortunately, I think I'll probably lose him soon because he indicated he wants to commit suicide.
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ExitTheDay
We fight to live or live to die
- May 26, 2019
- 336
I would rather much spend time alone than to spend time with people who make me feel alone and that's why of the main reasons why pushed all of my old "friends" to the curb, they wanted to hang out with me until they found I was out of marijuana, cigarettes and money, and I refuse to let people use me over stuff like that
WolfgangA
Devil’s Advocate
- Apr 9, 2019
- 108
If you really believe and consider them to be one, absolutely. Only you know the answer.
crimea_river
Experienced
- May 27, 2019
- 210
I think I've maybe got perhaps two true (ish) friends left. I'm kinda cool with that though, as I don't mind my own company and I have M.E, so spend a lot of time asleep, or not up to human contact anyway.
When I was first sick, I thought I had quite a few friends, turns out they were just acquaintances.
When I was first sick, I thought I had quite a few friends, turns out they were just acquaintances.
Severen
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,819
Darkhaven
All i have left is memories
- May 19, 2019
- 979
Apart from my close family, which i would say are no more than 3 or 4 people there is not a single one.
OmgDudeWhatNoWay
Member
- May 27, 2019
- 81
My right hand. He's never let me "down".
:(
:(
ScorpiusDragon
Mage
- Mar 25, 2019
- 593
My boyfriend isn't depressed. My online friend is. They are two separate people. And I never met this online friend in person; he is all the way in Austria.
Weems
Experienced
- May 5, 2019
- 204
I have a few friends left but it's different now. I said a lot of bizarre insane shit during my psychosis a few months ago. I'm happy to talk to them and I know they sincerely care, it's just a new kind of relationship. Everyone knows it's caring for a sick person.
Alchemist
Warlock
- Apr 3, 2019
- 709
You have a fair point. Then again, if I want any kind of contact, I gotta go with a sex worker who are the only ones willing to give it to me and at least they are upfront with the price.
Retched
I see the chaos in your eyes.
- Oct 8, 2018
- 837
My issues last year were too much for a lot of the people I knew to be friends to stick by me. Even after appropriate apologies had been made (I went into psychosis- pharma I blame pharma) and made some dumb choices. Those who knew later about my attempt dropped me like a hot potato. And I'm told that it's my fault I don't reach out. So irl, friendships are rare now. I've met some awesome people here that are dear to my heart and we communicate outside of the forums. People I now consider best friends. Sucks they are all so far, but it has helped me inch forward on the darkest of days.
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WolfgangA
Devil’s Advocate
- Apr 9, 2019
- 108
I know the feeling and its very unpleasant.
I dont have those either so I guess I hadn't thought of that as an option. But yes i think they count. My brothers best friends are people who met online
Same for me. But now my brothers and I are even starting to drift apart. They all live together, and I'm seperated from them. I guess its not all bad though because if I do ctb then at least we wont be very close when it happens.
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Rocksandsand
Specialist
- May 26, 2019
- 396
I lost my two 'best friends' last year after my first suicide attempt. I have never had many friends so that was a huge blow to my social life and connectivity to other people. My partner is pretty verbally and emotionally abusive so a lot of the time it's like walking on egg shells with him - not very healthy or fulfilling. I haven't left the house for a social reason for months...
The only reason I am still here is because my dog is my best friend. I don't want him to be alone in my apartment with my dead body for the days or weeks it takes for me to be discovered
The only reason I am still here is because my dog is my best friend. I don't want him to be alone in my apartment with my dead body for the days or weeks it takes for me to be discovered
WinterIsComing
Fragile...
- May 27, 2019
- 256
Family Which are pretty much distant the call me if something happens close my area like an earthqueake, burglary, fire and special ocasions which is almost nothing is not like we live in other country only other district.
I feel fear visiting them...my aunt once put her face close to mine and with a defiant tone said that "is my responsability to fix this, nobody will do it"....it was in the middle of my brother's birthday an event supossed to be "happy".
Now they get upset if I don't answer the phone...really
I have a boyfriend who went through depression so he gets it, then his friend who is a ball of optimism......another friend I don't talk a lot and 3 fake ones that I keep as "contacts" but recently they started the passive-agressiveness.
I feel fear visiting them...my aunt once put her face close to mine and with a defiant tone said that "is my responsability to fix this, nobody will do it"....it was in the middle of my brother's birthday an event supossed to be "happy".
Now they get upset if I don't answer the phone...really
I have a boyfriend who went through depression so he gets it, then his friend who is a ball of optimism......another friend I don't talk a lot and 3 fake ones that I keep as "contacts" but recently they started the passive-agressiveness.
sunny.sativa
organic
- Apr 2, 2019
- 317
raises hand
..
raises both hands
Lol I have no friends by choice. I guess I could say by choice. I kicked them to the curb, tried not to be brutal, but some of them didn't get the passive hints, then they didn't pick up on the kind-but-direct gestures, then I had to be real.
The ones that stuck around and dealt with my attitude and mood swings and other shitty traits were real ass people, wonderful friends, but I could not keep hurting them like that.
I knew it hurt them when I left them, but I believed even more so that I was saving them from dealing with me any further. They're probably muuuuch happier now.
It's so much easier without them, in some ways. I don't have to think about entertaining anyone but myself. I don't have to make time for anyone or save money up to pay for their lunch and.. this all sounds very selfish, really, I'm aware, but c'mon. My life is short enough having to deal with my OWN shit, I'm not trying to get involved in anyone else's.
..
raises both hands
Lol I have no friends by choice. I guess I could say by choice. I kicked them to the curb, tried not to be brutal, but some of them didn't get the passive hints, then they didn't pick up on the kind-but-direct gestures, then I had to be real.
The ones that stuck around and dealt with my attitude and mood swings and other shitty traits were real ass people, wonderful friends, but I could not keep hurting them like that.
I knew it hurt them when I left them, but I believed even more so that I was saving them from dealing with me any further. They're probably muuuuch happier now.
It's so much easier without them, in some ways. I don't have to think about entertaining anyone but myself. I don't have to make time for anyone or save money up to pay for their lunch and.. this all sounds very selfish, really, I'm aware, but c'mon. My life is short enough having to deal with my OWN shit, I'm not trying to get involved in anyone else's.
ZomGuy
Member
- Mar 1, 2019
- 86
Lost all of them 11 years ago, because of my depression. But it feels like I've been alone for 100 years. I tried to change something about my loneliness, I tried to get over my loneliness but nothing worked. For me personally, it's extremely hard to endure. But tbh, not being lonely wouldn't change anything about my decision to ctb.
