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ManWithNoName

ManWithNoName

Enlightened
Feb 2, 2019
1,224
I even dream of suicide. They are wonderful beautiful dreams in which I am at least happy for a short time.
I think I know what you mean. I recently did a post about a YouTube channel that visits famous gravesites. These are celebrities from the very early era to contemporary famous people, presented in random order. But many of these celebrities I have admired and see their headstone as an achievement—they achieved their exit. Yes some had horrible harsh lives....but are at peace now. And one day I dream there will be something remembering me—having been declared dead in absentia—that I have achieved my exit.
 
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Reactions: _Minsk, LetzteAusfahrt and Sensei
Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I'm at 1 with occasional spikes at 5. When I get my next bipolar depressive episode I expect to be back in the 5–10 spectrum again.
 
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Reactions: Isadeth and Brick In The Wall
LonelyNick

LonelyNick

They/Them, He/Him
Jul 15, 2020
261
I'm at a solid 7-8 tonight. Tied a noose on my poster bed. Been staying at it since.
 
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Reactions: Brick In The Wall and Sensei
Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,157
Constant 6 or 7 lately, with spikes to 9. Alcohol makes me extremely suicidal after the buzz wears off. Which is partially why I've decided to stop drinking.
 
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Reactions: Isadeth and Sensei
CalmStrikeofMercy

CalmStrikeofMercy

Detatched Observer.
Dec 8, 2019
79
9.
Only thing stopping me is fear of another arrest. Trying to lure serial killers to me to do the job.
 
peacefully31425

peacefully31425

Dirtbag
Aug 28, 2018
162
7-8. I know what 10 is and it's not fun.
 
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Reactions: Sensei
L

l053r

New Member
Jul 6, 2020
2
Solid 10, getting my affairs in order before I CTB.
 
TAW122

TAW122

Emissary of the right to die.
Aug 30, 2018
7,376
Been anxious lately, so 6.5-7 with times going up to 7.5 occasionally. I don't have my method available directly, so this drives up a lot of anxiety and it's hard to just move about when living at home with parents. I really miss living out on my own, or even with roommates as they are less nosy than my parents and would not nag me or eavsedrop as much on my day to day life.
 
all_pointless

all_pointless

Member
Jul 2, 2018
63
10 it's going up if it could
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: LetzteAusfahrt
Isadeth

Isadeth

Visionary
Jun 12, 2020
2,538
Today is about a 2. It's my husband and I's ten year anniversary. Today has been a fairly decent day. ā™”
 
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Reactions: Lorntroubles and SipSop
SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
3.8 today I went with the train to a big city. And I ate a very goos cheeseburger with french fries and a bottle of tonic water. I was quite envious at the couples that I've seen and I felt lonely and useless. But I was happy that I had that good meal. A emotion I seldom feel.
 
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Reactions: Lorntroubles and Isadeth
G

Gladtogo

Member
Jun 6, 2020
36
Feel like a 7-8. Still holding on, but i feel like it would only take a little shove to push me over.
 
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Reactions: _Minsk
Vault of Memories

Vault of Memories

A temporary being in a temporary world
Mar 24, 2020
255
At this moment a 8-9. Lowest it's ever been in the past 13-14 years would probably be a 5. If I lived alone and had AEs I'd do it at this very moment.
 
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Reactions: _Minsk and Sensei
L

Living_Hurts_so_Much

Specialist
Jul 30, 2020
332
Yesterday 9. At this moment i am only a 7. This place has actually brought me some peace. People who understand the pain of this life.
 
  • Like
Reactions: _Minsk
LetzteAusfahrt

LetzteAusfahrt

Swiss gay, will definitely ctb on October 10th
Jun 27, 2020
590
15, but I still have to wait

I am at the bus station and am not allowed to get in yet. I have the ticket in my hand, but I can't get on yet. Honor forbids breaking my promise
 
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Reactions: _Minsk and Living_Hurts_so_Much
weird_wannabe

weird_wannabe

Member
Jul 31, 2020
8
5, there are so many things I love, but I still want to die. I want to enjoy these things a bit more before I go.
 
  • Love
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Reactions: _Minsk and Lorntroubles
L

Living_Hurts_so_Much

Specialist
Jul 30, 2020
332
Strangely today I am a 5. All do to finding SS and everyone here. I have always felt so alone and that no one understands and being able to talk openly about my need to ctb, it is comforting.
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 4993, _Minsk and Lorntroubles
omsoc

omsoc

omsoc
May 8, 2019
27
6 right now because I've popped a Valium
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 4993 and _Minsk
_Minsk

_Minsk

death: the cure for life
Dec 9, 2019
1,140
9,5 today i think:c
 
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Reactions: Deleted member 4993

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