when someone asks why you want to die

[outrider567]

have you ever been asked, "why do you want to ctb?" but suddenly you're unable to answer? whilst alone all the thoughts and feelings of as to why comes rushing endlessly. or even when you're not being asked and surrounded by people. your mind goes blank and you forget. also i feel like if i do tell them, i wont be able to express or get it through them the way i hope to. i doubt they will even understand the weight of it and how huge the impact is on me.

Quite easy for me to answer--Will always feel like CTB'ing as long as she is still dead