What's your deepest darkest secret?

[Dr Iron Arc]

lol well why don't you guess a deep dark secret of hers, then?

Clearly she's part of a secret Chinese government operation to honeypot white NEETs and incels and push them to CTB by breaking their hearts.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Wouldn't her making her kid the "whole world" be contradictory of her personality where she wants less responsibilities and an easy life? I definitely think that she isn't holding any secrets or hypocrisy behind her lack of desire for responsibility

She seems to get impacted massively by those who she likes. She made numerous threads about her irl crush that your post is referring to once her irl crush stopped talking to her. She then made much more numerous threads about that ex SaSu member. I feel like she doesn't care about most people but, the ones who she gets attracted to, she cares about them and even gets overly sensitive about them.

I have a controversial belief regarding your last sentence. My controversial belief is that your last sentence could be true but only if the baby turns out to be a white asian. She has an obsession with white people and I'm sure everybody on this site knows that by now

Her care for those she's attracted to also seems to revolve around her as the main focus too. It's more of an infatuation rather than an expression of actual care. I'm not staying this to insult her either. Everyone is like this to some degree, I just find it especially noticeable when it comes to her in particular. True care is selfless. Tomoyo from Cardcaptor Sakura says it best:

The greatest happiness for me is to let the person I most like have the most happiness

True care comes from a selfless place but it feels like her attraction towards others comes down to her and how it makes her feel.

I used to wonder what she meant when she kept on talking about feeling masculine because I viewed her as very feminine, especially with her love of astrology and Kpop. It wasn't until my last trip that it hit me as to why she felt that way. The "energy" that we tend to associate with femininity tends to revolve around being nurturing and promoting the idea of living in harmony. You aren't above or below others, your peers are your equals and you must look out for them. "Energy" that is masculine seems to revolve around more hierarchical structures. It's about power and dominance. Of course, femininity and masculinity are just social constructs, but still. There is no inherent femininity or masculinity to these things outside of how our culture views them. @sserafim refers to herself as masculine and I think it's because she tends to look down on others and craves power. This has been reflected in some of her posts where she talks a lot about IQ, the superiority of "neetdom", here referring to others as normies, and her talking about her dark desires revolving around being a cult leader. I think that's also why, despite us both hating capitalism, it doesn't feel like my views intertwine that much with hers. I think our hatred derives from two very different life experiences and views on the world around us.


It's a bit rude of me to analyze her like she's some fictional character. I'm not trying to insult her or anything. I guess I'm just trying to make sense of her. She kind of lives rent-free in my head and for a long time I didn't know why. I can't say it's because she's super weird because.most people are weird and I've met much weirder people than her before and never had this happen. Maybe I'm just projecting my own shit onto her.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's a bit rude of me to analyze her like she's some fictional character. I'm not trying to insult her or anything. I guess I'm just trying to make sense of her. She kind of lives rent-free in my head and for a long time I didn't know why. I can't say it's because she's super weird because.most people are weird and I've met much weirder people than her before and never had this happen. Maybe I'm just projecting my own shit onto her.

No but for real, her living rent-free in my head is something I feel too. Maybe because she reminds me of one of my sisters, if she had a nicer degree and was way more into Kpop and NEET stuff. Does this count as a secret? I think it's something I just realized.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

No but for real, her living rent-free in my head is something I feel too. Maybe because she reminds me of one of my sisters, if she had a degree in biochemistry and was way more into Kpop and NEET stuff. Does this count as a secret? I think it's something I just realized.

Maybe it's because of how prominent of a figure she is on here. Kind of like how FC lives rent-free in many other users' heads. She's a prominent figure on here who we've formed a semi-parasocial relationship with. We likely are just doing what humans love to do, which is project our shit onto others. I guess sometimes it might just be the brain's way of trying to analyze and work its own shit out. It's easier for us to figure things out when we feel divorced from our sense of self, which is part of why things like mindfulness meditation and psychedelics are commonly used by those trying to work on themselves. Our concept of "self" can get in the way and make it harder for us to work through things, so we often look for ways to divorce them from ourselves or even try to break down of feeling of "self" altogether. That's my theory anyway.

 

[sserafim]

Her care for those she's attracted to also seems to revolve around her as the main focus too. It's more of an infatuation rather than an expression of actual care. I'm not staying this to insult her either. Everyone is like this to some degree, I just find it especially noticeable when it comes to her in particular. True care is selfless. Tomoyo from Cardcaptor Sakura says it best:

True care comes from a selfless place but it feels like her attraction towards others comes down to her and how it makes her feel.

I used to wonder what she meant when she kept on talking about feeling masculine because I viewed her as very feminine, especially with her love of astrology and Kpop. It wasn't until my last trip that it hit me as to why she felt that way. The "energy" that we tend to associate with femininity tends to revolve around being nurturing and promoting the idea of living in harmony. You aren't above or below others, your peers are your equals and you must look out for them. "Energy" that is masculine seems to revolve around more hierarchical structures. It's about power and dominance. Of course, femininity and masculinity are just social constructs, but still. There is no inherent femininity or masculinity to these things outside of how our culture views them. @sserafim refers to herself as masculine and I think it's because she tends to look down on others and craves power. This has been reflected in some of her posts where she talks a lot about IQ, the superiority of "neetdom", here referring to others as normies, and her talking about her dark desires revolving around being a cult leader. I think that's also why, despite us both hating capitalism, it doesn't feel like my views intertwine that much with hers. I think our hatred derives from two very different life experiences and views on the world around us.


It's a bit rude of me to analyze her like she's some fictional character. I'm not trying to insult her or anything. I guess I'm just trying to make sense of her. She kind of lives rent-free in my head and for a long time I didn't know why. I can't say it's because she's super weird because.most people are weird and I've met much weirder people than her before and never had this happen. Maybe I'm just projecting my own shit onto her.

I live rent free in your head because I'm a Leo rising and Mars and I have Jupiter and Saturn in the 10th house. I have my rising, Venus and Uranus at 17° and Mars at 28° (Leo placements are signs/indicators of fame, as well as having planets in the 10th house. 17° and 28° are fame degrees )

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I live rent free in your head because I'm a Leo rising and Mars and I have Jupiter and Saturn in the 10th house. I have my rising, Venus and Uranus at 17° and Mars at 28° (17° and 28° are fame degrees )

Yeah, I don't buy into astrology, lol. I stopped believing in it near the end of elementary, along with most things revolving around mystical forces, spirits, ghosts, and more. I think it's better to try and look at this using my own "intuitive psychologist" (basically the little psychologist in each of us that we use when trying to analyze and make sense of our own behaviours).

I think it's likely more based in me projecting my own feelings and thoughts onto you. My brain likely just using you, the concept of you, as a way for it to better make sense me and my own beliefs. It's just a slightly fucked up form of introspection. The mixture of your prominence on here, along with the mixture of our similarities and differences and why those differences are there likely created the perfect breeding ground for whatever the fuck this shit is.

We are both the same gender, in the same age group (early 20s), both the eldest child, both hate capitalism, both BIPOC, both have fucked up sexual desired and kinks (rape, wantingto creampied, and breeding kink), kind of lonely but not necessarily bothered by it, etc. At the same time, I find myself disagreeing with you and your views a lot and that leads to question of why. I think I'm just using you as a way to make more sense of myself, the people around me,and the world in general. That's my guess anyway.

Honestly, figuring out the reasons for it would probably mean having to take a much deeper look at myself, but I'm not high enough to do that atm. I'm going to probably go with 3g of shrooms next time (along with some ginger beer for the nausea, since I vomited today). Even then, introspection has its limits, so I may never truly understand the exact motives behind this.

 

[sserafim]

Yeah, I don't buy into astrology, lol. I stopped believing in it near the end of elementary, along with most things revolving around mystical forces, spirits, ghosts, and more. I think it's better to try and look at this using my own "intuitive psychologist" (basically the little psychologist in each of us that we use when trying to analyze and make sense of our own behaviours).

I think it's likely more based in me projecting my own feelings and thoughts onto you. My brain likely just using you, the concept of you, as a way for it to better make sense me and my own beliefs. It's just a slightly fucked up form of introspection. The mixture of your prominence on here, along with the mixture of our similarities and differences and why those differences are there likely created the perfect breeding ground for whatever the fuck this shit is.

We are both the same gender, in the same age group (early 20s), both the eldest child, both hate capitalism, both BIPOC, both have fucked up sexual desired and kinks (rape, wantingto creampied, and breeding kink), kind of lonely but not necessarily bothered by it, etc. At the same time, I find myself disagreeing with you and your views a lot and that leads to question of why. I think I'm just using you as a way to make more sense of myself, the people around me,and the world in general. That's my guess anyway.

Honestly, figuring out the reasons for it would probably mean having to take a much deeper look at myself, but I'm not high enough to do that atm. I'm going to probably go with 3g of shrooms next time (along with some ginger beer for the nausea, since I vomited today). Even then, introspection has its limits, so I may never truly understand the exact motives behind this.

I'm not BIPOC, I'm East Asian, but everything else is true. Why do you disagree with me and my views a lot? I'm curious why…

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm not BIPOC, I'm East Asian, but everything else is true. Why do you disagree with a lot of my views?

East Asian falls under that category. You are a person of colour, a.k.a. not white.

I likely disagree with a quite a few of your views due to difference in how I view the world, I guess. Or maybe I'm just a bit of a contratarian, idk. I don't disagree with all of your views, but I do disagree with some of them. It might just be a result of differences in thinking and life experiences. For example, most of my anti-capitalist views stem from my observations and experiences as someone from a low-income household. Yours stems from someone who comes from an upper middle-class background. As a result, I feel like my hatred of capitalism tends to focus more on ways in which I've seen it harm those in my community while yours seems to revolve more around things like being a neet. At least that's how I view it. You have to remember that my views on you are based on my subjective interpretation of your character, so they may not feel accurate to you. Just like how your views on me might not feel accurate to me.

 

[sserafim]

East Asian falls under that category. You are a person of colour, a.k.a. not white.

I likely disagree with a quite a few of your views due to difference in how I view the world, I guess. Or maybe I'm just a bit of a contratarian, idk. I don't disagree with all of your views, but I do disagree with some of them. It might just be a result of differences in thinking and life experiences. For example, most of my anti-capitalist views stem from my observations and experiences as someone from a low-income household. Yours stems from someone who comes from an upper middle-class background. As a result, I feel like my hatred of capitalism tends to focus more on ways in which I've seen it harm those in my community while yours seems to revolve more around things like being a neet. At least that's how I view it. You have to remember that my views on you are based on my subjective interpretation of your character, so they may not feel accurate to you. Just like how your views on me might not feel accurate to me.

Hmm, I thought that BIPOC meant black and indigenous people of color. It excludes Asian people, I think

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Hmm, I thought that BIPOC meant black and indigenous people of color. It excludes Asian people, I think

Asians are people of colour. If the country you live in doesn't recognize you as white, then you are automatically a person of colour.

The term "person of color" (pl.: people of color or persons of color; abbreviated POC)[1]​ is primarily used to describe any person who is not considered "white".

In the United States, the term is involved in the various definitions of non-whiteness, including African Americans, Asian Americans, Native Americans, Pacific Islander Americans, multiracial Americans, and some Latino Americans

Person of color - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[ijustwishtodie]

This is far more entertaining than anything on TV. I wonder if the guy knows he's the guy. She just said she found him, not that he agreed.

This is actually a good point. Though I wonder how she found the guy? My theory was that she found him from a certain site... she took "inspiration" from but, then again, I doubt it as they don't seem receptive to women at all. @sserafim definitely has way too much secrets than I first thought

 

[derpyderpins]

This is actually a good point. Though I wonder how she found the guy? My theory was that she found him from a certain site... she took "inspiration" from but, then again, I doubt it as they don't seem receptive to women at all. @sserafim definitely has way too much secrets than I first thought

Or, she's fucking with us by throwing something new out there.

As to how she found him, I am not on any of these other sites, just this one, but I'll say this: based on her past crushes, she certainly would not hide it. There would be some obsession. Is there maybe one guy who she frequently reposts here?

[also @sserafim I'm assuming you find our speculation amusing but lmk if it starts being annoying.]

*E: also they're not receptive to women because they have no success with women lol if they thought they had a chance in hell they'd be putty in her hands.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

This is actually a good point. Though I wonder how she found the guy? My theory was that she found him from a certain site... she took "inspiration" from but, then again, I doubt it as they don't seem receptive to women at all.

Nah it's just my theory being proven right:

Clearly she's part of a secret Chinese government operation to honeypot white NEETs and incels and push them to CTB by breaking their hearts.

 

[derpyderpins]

Nah it's just my theory being proven right:

 

[pinkydrinky]

i got raped by a guy that was 27 when i was 16

 

[derpyderpins]

This is actually a good point. Though I wonder how she found the guy? My theory was that she found him from a certain site... she took "inspiration" from but, then again, I doubt it as they don't seem receptive to women at all. @sserafim definitely has way too much secrets than I first thought

I just had a thought of a potential candidate but I'm going to DM you.

 

[JKFleck]

I got raped by my biological father as a kid

Another secret is somehow me getting abandoned by my best and only friend hurts more than that, BPD gang yay!

 

[Onelegman]

My 16 year old sister sexually abused me when I was 10 years old