What's bothering you right now?

[Life sucks]

Why writing takes a lot of time

 

[DisillusionedDragon]

MY FUCKING BODY FUCKING TORTURING ME AAAAAAA

Sorry, I needed to let that out. Not in the mood for eloquence right now.

 

[Manaaja]

Guess who was an idiot, spent the whole night playing Dark Souls, fell asleep at 7-8am and slept till 9-10pm while their original plan was to go sleep early and spend the whole day having fun with a person who only visits rarely? Yeah, think about it.

These bodies really need a button you can press. A "press this button to instantly fall asleep for any amount of time specified", So I could put something like "Fall asleep at 2am and wake up at 10am" and have the body do it everyday. Though I personally prefer bodies that don't need sleep.

Like the gems's bodies. They don't need to sleep, they can have fun for 1000s of years without ever sleeping, but they can sleep. So nice.

Requiring lots of sleep has another really shitty thing. Imagine you need two hours of sleep twice a week. And you "forget" to sleep 2 hours on Monday. Well no worries, you can just sleep 4 hours on Tuesday or alternatively sleep 2 hours on Wednesday and 2 on Sunday or one hour on Tues, Wednes, Thurs, Friday. No big deal.

But this fucking ass body needs like 9 hours of sleep. Yeah, 9 hours, when I see Japanese sleeping 4-5 hours and having energy to work 12h days and Europeans sleeping 6-7 hours and doing just fine. So if I miss sleeping on Monday, it means I have to sleep 18 hours on Tuesday!

FUCKING HELL! I refuse to believe this world is real or anything. No person can tell me that there are real humans who need 9 hours of sleep every damned night. It's ludicrous.

I read a story where some people just meditated (instead of sleeping) every night for a few hours and could be young as fuck as 100 old. That's ten billion times more believable than any goddamn parentfucking "Blah blah blah humans are losers go sleep 9 hours every day loser lol lol!"

How the hell are there people in the Amazonian jungles living there? The predators could easily eat the whole group during the night because human life is just sleeping. Or maybe people in jungles are healthier and have to only sleep like 4 hours to perform perfectly because humans are jungle people?

I swear if I could get the benefits of 9 hours of sleep by just sleeping 4-5 hours in a jungle I'd....

 

[Foresight]

My anxiety is so high

Took CBD gummies. Feel much better.

 

[western_heart]

Work, undocumented technical debt

 

[Nolan96]

Terrible noises,
I can't even think.

 

[allesistgut]

i miss my friend so much, i don't know what to do.

 

[faex42]

The weather was really quite nice so I was out and about although it took consderable effort to actually get out the door. Same old boring city, same old boring me. Have I always been alone like this? No but pretty close.

 

[lostundead]

I am nearing completely-done-with-life levels previously thought to be impossible. My body is broken beyond repair and I will never be able to achieve a reasonable life quality that would make my time on this trashpile in outer space worthwile. But the damage is already done, time is irreversible. I've lived 2 1/2 years with this dreaded disease and there is no going back. The more senseless suffering I endure, the harder it will be for me to ever go through with ctb. Everyday I just dig myself a deeper hole by staying alive, one that I may never be able to climb out of again.

 

[OldWrldBlues]

nothing hurts more than the feeling of regret for inaction. wish i could do life over again. i made all of the wrong decisions in life.

 

[Life sucks]

No method

 

[Sherri]

Was so anxious this morning, took me 6 years of looking at my cellphone screen to finally got my script . Will def behave this time.

 

[ImsooDone1N]

People I care about are suffering, and I am completely helpless to help almost all of them. I'm worried about several users here, I'm worried about the users & innocent people in general who are suffering or going thru bad times ranging from stressful to a nightmare. Like people in countries at war, or in poorer countries like India, lots in Africa & several South American countries. The fact I can be using morphine as a mood stabilizer "off label", yet cancer & aids patients in some of those countries can't get anything…. Not even paracetamol shows how unfair things are; also makes me feel guilty. I'm upset & ashamed my mental health has got so bad that my relationships with family & friends have been affected. I feel bad too for drastically changing or possibly giving up temporarily on my opiate/benzo tapering. I think that's enough, tho there's more.

 

[Life sucks]

Depression

 

[WadeingThru]

Fuel prices. Will I be able to afford the fuel to get to work next week?

 

[BrokenLine]

I said goodbye to someone i really shouldn't have, to try and keep something already broken.

 

[S like suicide]

All the bad things my shitty family did to me,i'm full of hate

 

[- crybaby -]

My body .
Besides an annoying headache there's not pain but rather..this unusual feeling .
Everything feels in slow-motion/lagging , It's uncomfortable ,annoying , uneasy .
I can barely move around .

 

[LONE WOLF.]

'MAX' My Doggy best friend's time has arrived and he goes to the vet tmrw! I will be bringing his body home to be collected for private cremation and his ashes returned Home!

 

[faex42]

My health is deteriorating. It's frightening. I am afraid to stop working because people will be disappointed and I need the money. A colleague of 35 who I used to supervise committed suicide two days ago. He was unusually dedicated to help very troubled families and children. I don't say what I feel: "You're free now. Fly high." I say "what a terrible loss, etc." He left family behind but somehow I can't reproach him for that. If he felt the need to go, surely this compassionate man had his reasons.

 

[Forever Dead]

That I have So much hatred and vengeance in my heart. For myself and some people I have copped resentments towards. It's such a Vicious and toxic cycle I feel like blowing my fucking brains out but still can't gather the strength and courage to do so. Why can't I just let it all go and be at peace like I used to years ago. Fck,. I'm a complete wreck.

I almost got in my truck the other night to .... Go take care of one of my resentments.... Like he deserves. But then I'd probably go to prison, jail or even hell depending on how it goes down. My mind is so damn Sick and twisted,. I hope I can pull the trigger soon and just do the whole world a fucking favor already.

Sorry I'm so negative and all over the place,. Very lost lately. FML.

I often have very violent thoughts towards the monster who abused me. These thoughts can go on for days like an endless loop. Its intolerable. Weird thing is Im one of the least violent people you will ever meet, I despise any kind violence. Luckily, the thoughts eventually burn out after a day or two. Sorry you are going through this.

 

[Sherri]

That my bf is going to fast in our relationship, and I'm still not ready for that.

 

[Forever Dead]

Noise, Again. For the third day in a row. As usual.

I don't get any quiet except a couple hours in the middle of the night, and what can I do with myself then? Especially when I work a day job.

If landlords aren't going to lift a finger to make their buildings livable, they should absolutely not have the right to force you to stay.

I know a lot of people would just blast their own music to cover everyone else's noise, but I'd still just feel overstimulated. Noise-cancelling headphones somehow make things even worse by cancelling out all the ambience except the most obnoxious loud noises which bother me most of all.

I feel so constantly overstimulated. I hate living in a world where it's this easy to ruin someone else's life, just by pressing a single button, forgetting about it, and refusing to press the off button until 12 hours later. And I'm the bossy, nosy bad guy for saying please stop this?

Modern society is a nightmare. And where can I escape to? I had no idea I was signing up for a year of this when I signed that lease. I'll have no idea what I'm getting myself into when I sign the next one. It could easily turn out to be worse.

A part of my yearning for death just comes from my associating it with calm, peace, stability, tranquility, a heavy soothing blanket of darkness, all the things I desperately want.

This is especially bad because I have mental health issues which apparently mean nothing to either my neighbors, landlord, or the law in this situation. But even a regular person would be bothered by this.

It's torture.

I once lived in a similar situation. Like you say noise cancelling headphones dont stop you from hearing loud noises. A guy I once knew worked in a recording studio and told me that the best headphones for cancelling noise are sound ISOLATION headphones. He lent me a pair to try and they were brilliant. The neighbours above me were fighting like crazy with loud music going on and I couldnt hear a thing. It was heaven. Unfortunately I couldnt afford a pair as they are upwards of £100. As for being overstimulated I have heard that white noise frequencies through headphones can help. Sorry you are going through this, people are just so selfish and inconsiderate.

 

[JustAMatterOfTime]

My left arm is very weak for some reason and the fingers are numb, with pain down my bicep, I am also throwing up every day it seems.

 

[arnab]

People

 

[Life sucks]

Brain wants to shutdown but I'm still forced to be alive by the shitty body

 

[Huntfish34]

Thank you for your kind words Forever Dead. I know what you mean about the unending and unrelenting thought loops sadly, Quite intolerable to say the least.

I understand,. I'm a fairly non violent guy myself.... But I believe if somebody gets pushed hard enough or that it's warranted in such a manner.. (self defense mostly) then so be it.

Sorry you have had to go through some of this also. -

 

[lili]

Living with my ex partner bothers me tremendously. Financial situation and barely being able to pay rent. Not being able to talk to anyone about my suicidal ideations. Being in love with one of the guys I had a fling with and him giving me false hope and treating me so badly. Having to block him yet still having strong feelings.

Having betrayed a friend immensely. They will hate me now. Not having any family to speak with. Being in a place I don't belong. Past traumas that will never cease to haunt me.

Painful loneliness. And waiting for the SN to arrive. Flipping every day with second thoughts. A prolonged feeling of entrapment, now reaching a quiet panic.

 

[Crazy4u]

current events. I thought things will be better after COVID. Nothing is going back to normal

 

[ShadowsFall]

The local mass transit system and their cut and paste response to an issue that is reaching critical mass.