What's bothering you right now?

[fatefulstillness]

The consequences of a messed up sleep schedule. I'm unable to fix it. College is both helping and ruining me.

 

[noname223]

Stressful and desperate attempts to find a way how to get money in the future.
Moreover I am currently thinking a lot about a new very restrictive assisted suicide law which makes me extremely mad.

 

[Life sucks]

I don't know what's happening to my body, sometimes I think death is near

 

[Manaaja]

I want another family.

Ever since I was a child I have hoped that somewhere there are my real parents. I remember being a child and waiting for my real parents to come and get me.

 

[Sherri]

As some know I'm tampering some opioid meds, it's actually going well, bearable it's the best word so far. I'm surprised I'm not in any physical pain so far, 2 days now,

 

[ClaireBear31]

Made the mistake of standing up for myself to my partner and he is retaliating by spreading a horrible lie about me to people and he is extremely believable and charming. So believable and charming, in fact, that several of them have approached me and suggested I am mentally ill. The bitter irony of it is that HE has an official diagnosis (PTSD) but refuses to get help. Oh, and he yelled at me because I had to buy medicine for my autoimmune disease and insurance would not cover it. But then he had to get medicine for mere allergies and it cost more than mine did... but at least he hasn't actually hit me yet this week, right?

 

[allesistgut]

i was feeling pretty good a bit earlier today, but now i'm back to where i was. i wish my emotions wouldn't switch back and forth all the time, it's so tiring.

 

[Crazy4u]

the wait is killing me. I don't want to keep waiting

 

[Foresight]

I'm really sad today. I'm just trying to be honest with myself. I'm never honest. I know I'm not going to recover. I'm never going to feel comfortable in my life and my circumstances. Whenever I try I just know I won't. I have to restart the process of letting go. I'm so tired. I just need to try for the N. I need to do what I need to do for the method. I don't want to go in pain or discomfort.

 

[Death_of_a_Phynixx]

The fact that my life is not supposed to be like this. The fact that I feel as if I failed at some big mission. The fact that I feel I am alone in my personal damnations.
All the lies, deception, and betrayal that I have incurred thus far without due justice bothers me. My level of poverty really bothers me. This phony and zombified world/realm bothers me. The fact that I made the biggest mistake of my existence by incarnating in this plane, bothers me every moment of my current lifetime. The hinted idea that I might leave this world unfulfilled bothers me. In conclusion, the fact that I am still currently alive somehow, really bothers me.

 

[angiegirl30]

Right now I'm in a lot of physical pain. I have an autoimmune disease that flares up, so there's that. Just freaking hurting. Mentally doing okay.

 

[Death_of_a_Phynixx]

The fact that my life is not supposed to be like this. The fact that I feel as if I failed at some big mission. The fact that I feel I am alone in my personal damnations.
All the lies, deception, and betrayal that I have incurred thus far without due justice bothers me. My level of poverty really bothers me. This phony and zombified world/realm bothers me. The fact that I made the biggest mistake of my existence by incarnating in this plane, bothers me every moment of my current lifetime. The hinted idea that I might leave this world unfulfilled bothers me. In conclusion, the fact that I am still currently alive somehow, really bothers me.

Thank you Demuic for the hugs!

 

[Passersby]

Right now I'm in a lot of physical pain. I have an autoimmune disease that flares up, so there's that. Just freaking hurting. Mentally doing okay.

Hi Angiegirl30,
I can relate. My physical issues are bothering the hell out of me right now also. My friend just ctb. My other friend ctb in dec also. . I hope your pain will go away.

 

[angiegirl30]

Hi Angiegirl30,
I can relate. My physical issues are bothering the hell out of me right now also. My friend just ctb. My other friend ctb in dec also. . I hope your pain will go away.

I am so sorry about your friends. That's awful. Just last week it was the anniversary of the death of my youngest son's best friend who died by suicide. He still has an awful time with it. I hope you feel better as well.

 

[completely-done]

Being alive and conscious. Really looking forward to die

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

It's nighttime again and I feel lonely. I'm forced to think about myself and I hate it. I hate who I am.

 

[Life sucks]

Money and how everything needs Money. Can't live and can't get N without money, can't go anywhere, can't buy new games and stuff. One of the many things that prevents me from doing anything.

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

That I always make the wrong decision in the heat of the moment. I hate being impulsive

 

[Sleepdrifter]

Being off work. I am having some strange headaches and can't do much at the moment. Had antibiotics, brain scan, etc. currently trying out meds for epilepsy. Doctor is wondering if its stress.

 

[Eternity]

The fact I tried almost every treatment available for my illness(es) and I'm more depressed and hopeless than ever these last 6 months. Even my psychiatrist has no clue what to do anymore and so do I. So tired of this never ending cycle

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I'm trying to access a Google account that I had some other accounts tied to. I haven't used it in a while but I'd like to access it today. Google says it doesn't recognize any of the devices I'm on (new phone, and I moved so new IP) so it wants to send a text... but to my old phone number. And apparently there's nothing else I can do to recover this account. So it's just gone. That's so stupid, and I'm pissed. Normally, I might have the patience to deal with something like this, but my mood has been so low, I'm just ready to either blow up or break down.

 

[Life sucks]

Corporations do whatever thing to squeeze the situations and get more money, what is money anyway? This world is really nonsensical.

 

[Crazy4u]

I'm trying to access a Google account that I had some other accounts tied to. I haven't used it in a while but I'd like to access it today. Google says it doesn't recognize any of the devices I'm on (new phone, and I moved so new IP) so it wants to send a text... but to my old phone number. And apparently there's nothing else I can do to recover this account. So it's just gone. That's so stupid, and I'm pissed. Normally, I might have the patience to deal with something like this, but my mood has been so low, I'm just ready to either blow up or break down.

can you please make a thread about it? we have some IT folks here who can help

 

[Life sucks]

Life is extremely unbalanced, if one feels good for a minute, there are ten or more awful hours after that.

Being extremely unbalanced, it's hard to deal with the situation in any possible way, the reward is too small compared to risk and resources. Even ctbing is hard because of this extreme imbalance.

 

[WearyHSP]

I can relate. My physical issues are bothering the hell out of me right now also. My friend just ctb. My other friend ctb in dec also. . I hope your pain will go away.

That's heartbreaking. It's hard to lose friends under normal circumstances, like being ghosted (if that's normal? ) but having them ctb is a sad loss for you and I'm sure normalizes it as well.


This is by far not my worst problem but in this moment, what's bothering me is I feel compelled to write about my childhood abuse (just to sort it out and as explanation for someone, anyone after I ctb.) I've recently signed up for a college creative writing course and it's burning through my nervous system - so much anxiety and trying to keep up with a fast pace (I have a disabling neuro-immune-fatigue illness so stress is BAD.)
I'm glad to have even one tiny thing to give me life purpose, and I really wanted this class to help me focus and have deadlines, but I struggle with writing and notice some self-esteem anxieties coming up. I'm feeling guilty relaxing when that's pretty much what I'm supposed to do because of my illness.

 

[Life sucks]

Even small tasks are hard and painful. People don't understand anything when the pain is invisible.

 

[Sherri]

That I have to take my car for a yearly inspection, and hope all is well, but most likely they will say that the car will need something. Plus and hour and a half waiting with normies all around i get the feeling everyone is looking at me… :(

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I really want to drink now, but I can't. My husband is a recovering alcoholic and we made a life decision not to include alcohol in our life. Of course, since our wedding, I've been clean, but he's relapsed four times, including as recently as two weeks ago. I just really want to drink right now…

 

[Manaaja]

I wish I had any idea what to do. I feel like I'm way too stressed and in a constant panic. I've always been firm believer of "Do what you want" but what if I don't know how to do it?

I hate reading about money and jobs. I fucking hate it. One of the worst things I've ever read. When I read books, there are so many cases where someone is like "I wish I had a huge manor" and someone just comes and snaps their fingers and tada the biggest and finest mansion ever for free no reward needed. But there's this place where it's like "You don't want to starve to death? Stop having asperger and get a job you idiot!".

If gaining something requires more effort or time than snapping your fingers, then it's probably not worth the effort.

Am I even a human. All these job, job, work, work, money, money. I feel no connection to them.

Everyone who is good should get everything for free. No one who is good should work for it.

I wish everyone who is good could be happy and do what they want. Someone once said "Maybe this world is so bad, so that we could be free to wish for whatever we want and get our dream world after this world". I want to believe him. It's odd, he's not dead, yet it feels like he's dead. I think I've been so sad from all the deaths lately that it feels like everyone is dead. I am so sorry. I wish I was better. Please forgive me. I wish I can spend the rest of eternity with my friends. I love them. And I will meet my dog again.

I also wish to read a new book. I haven't want to read a new book in like 5 years, but now I do. I don't know what book to read. A fantasy book of course, but what kind...

I just remembered the quote "The difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to make sense".

 

[GrumpyFrog]

I am literally sick and tired. As in "have a chronic illness flare up and also more than 3 hours of sleep a day would be nice". But the treadmill never stops. Work-work-work. It will only stop when I go to take my forever nap.