Discussion What would it take to make you want to live?

[user667]

nothing. absolutely nothing.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Complete amnesia and personality change. However, as I have genetic neuroanatomical and neurochemical differences, I don't think I could get a proper brain reboot.

Oh, and if the world could go back to tribal times before civilisation, world war, famine, climate crisis, wage slavery, exploitative industry, deepening inequality etc, that would be grand.

Even better if it could go back to the beginning of life and find something cooperative rather than competitive to evolve by, thereby eliminating the need for the selfish gene, endless cycles of fighting and killing each other, and suffering in infinite different nightmarish manifestations.

You're good! Going back before civilization is my main idea as well...

 

[ineverlearn]

Is a it a friend or a family member or someone, let's just say, special? Sorry for prying...

Yeah, someone special. My partner in life, my lover and my best friend for 10 years.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

Yeah, someone special. My partner in life, my lover and my best friend for 10 years.

Oh, man, I'm so sorry. That's tough.
And there's absolutely anything you can't do to get through to that person?
I mean, I'm assuming, you must have done a lot to win them back, but maybe there's something left?

 

[ineverlearn]

Oh, man, I'm so sorry. That's tough.
And there's absolutely anything you can't do to get through to that person?
I mean, I'm assuming, you must have done a lot to win them back, but maybe there's something left?

I've tried what I could. But they're determined to never trust me again or even talk to me. It's really hard to try anything when there's no way to interact (covid lockdowns hasn't helped).

I'm trying a couple of last things to try to get them to at least talk to me/give me chance to try to work things out. Just a chance...

But for all I know they've fallen in love and fully moved on already. And any actions I do still only anger them and make this worse. But I have to try.

 

[A_miStake_of_NATURE]

I've tried what I could. But they're determined to never trust me again or even talk to me. It's really hard to try anything when there's no way to interact (covid lockdowns hasn't helped).

I'm trying a couple of last things to try to get them to at least talk to me/give me chance to try to work things out. Just a chance...

But for all I know they've fallen in love and fully moved on already. And any actions I do still only anger them and make this worse. But I have to try.

Wow. That's really tough.
But you've been friends for so many years and they've just moved on?
It's the worst when you can't get someone at least talk to you...
And yeah, the COVID crap isn't helping anyone.
What do you wanna do?

 

[ineverlearn]

Wow. That's really tough.
But you've been friends for so many years and they've just moved on?
It's the worst when you can't get someone at least talk to you...
And yeah, the COVID crap isn't helping anyone.
What do you wanna do?

I'll PM you, I feel bad this is hijacking the thread.

 

[Spitfire]

nothing


just time now

 

[ScaredToLive]

I'd like to go back in time to when I was a kid and change one thing. That and eternal 21 youth, neither happening so yeah

 

[pika8787]

Start my life all over and don't remind anything of this present life. Obv not possible so I would say to start fresh in another city

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

The only way thing would be a time machine to go back and stop the shit that happened in my childhood. It's the core of my issues and pretty much destroyed my life .

 

[Deformationalplagio]

To look normal. Not even beautiful. Just normal like everyone else

 

[Zzzzz]

Not have to worry about money . Not have to deal with people all the time. 20 acres and a house in the country. As an extremely introverted person, it is impossible for me to ever be happy in such a hyper social society.

 

[Conker]

For the ideas in my head to become a tangible reality (side project) somewhere else with GPS coordinates that are hidden from the evil ones. And with an impenetrable antivirus installed onto the base matrix.

So, basically it would be several miracles.. No more amnesia.. Hell, do we even require full recall memory to meet our maximum potential & heal our wounds? Nah, although the spiritual eradication must come to an end.

Ultimately though I've accepted that it isn't going to happen. I'm content that I became wise enough to figure out how to fully dissolve my own soul. Only a few steps are left in Advanced Tao, then I will be free from these hideous vampires..

I'm not going to miss this retarded universe.

 

[Zenpurrz]

I don't think that current medical technology or enough drugs exist that can completely take away the intractable chronic pain I deal with every day. Not that I could afford or even desire more surgeries, procedures, etc. With medication it is slightly more manageable, but the government is making medical chronic pain management harder and harder to find. My last appointment with my wonderful pain doc of five years is this Tuesday. Sadly, another doctor like him will be all but impossible to find, leaving me to either suffer ( I'd much rather die than suffer) or possibly seek help at a place like a Methadone clinic, as many chronic pain patients have been forced to go there due to the lack of compassionate medical pain management doctors. Honestly, freedom from pain, and having to fight this damn battle looks more appealing every day. My cats are the only thing tethering me to the Earth right now, as I love them so, and refuse to leave them with my corpse...I hope to find a trustworthy person or persons who I know will truly love and care for my babies after I am gone...Of course if I can wish for anything a big pile of tax free money couldn't hurt either At least I wouldn't have to worry about money in addition to all the other problems...

 

[Justcheckingout]

Enough money to get help and feel secure in the world. My health is bad and I don't have the funds to treat it. I work 40hr weeks and don't make enough to get by. I would probably still be very depressed (lifelong struggle) but the walls wouldn't be closing in so fast.

 

[Fentanull]

I don't know if there's anything at this point. Maybe a time machine? I've hated my life, and have had suicidal thoughts since I was a very small child. But there was a brief moment of my life where I felt like I might have a little hope for a happier future. In 2012 I got into a relationship with a girl I absolutely adored in every way; I loved her personality, I loved her sense of humor, the things she was interested in, the way she thought... not to mention, I thought she was absolutely gorgeous and have never seen another girl in person or otherwise so perfectly tailored to my preferences when it comes to what I find sexually attractive in a woman. She convinced me that she was pregnant with my child, and I genuinely believed her when she told me how much she loved me and the prospect of building our life together. During that little window, I actually saw my future with our little family and believed I could be as happy as I've always dreamed of one day. Unfortunately, it turned out that she was lying about being pregnant. She faked a pregnancy test I bought by having a friend pee on the stick from behind a shower curtain while I waited for her outside the bathroom. I could have lived with that, but I didn't find out until after I'd already discovered she was cheating on me. A lot. There was four guys I found out she was fucking who were just old fuck buddies she'd been with off and on I guess. Then there was another guy she was fucking in another state who was her boyfriend before me, having convinced him of all the same shit. Then there was ANOTHER guy she started fucking after we got together who was her "boyfriend," too. And, to top it all off, there were at least three guys who fucked her during their stay at the hotel she worked the front desk at- that is, three that I outright found the messages confirming they'd fucked. There were four other guys she'd been messaging since they left the hotel that had stayed there and met her during our relationship, but they never outright talked about having fucked- despite how blatantly obvious it was that they did.

Regardless, I can honestly say that my depression and suicidal ideation isn't because of that experience. It kinda sucks that it had to be my literal dream girl that hurt me SO bad out of all my failed relationships- but I was pretty much just as miserable now as I was before I met her. I mean, I was still suicidal and had tried to kill myself plenty of times. But I can definitely say that I hate how I still love her to death despite how fucking terrible she did me, and I've never been able to love another girl since in the same way because they never click with me so perfectly. But I guess, to answer the question, if I could hypothetically build a mind-erasing time machine and go back to that brief period of a few weeks where I was blissfully ignorant to her seeming hate for me and genuinely believed I had a child on the way with my soul mate... Then, yeah- I guess I'd have a pretty decent shot at being happy if I could use it to erase my memories and live that little loop over and over.

 

[self.destractive]

•get on testosterone
•top surgery

•feeling like i belong on this earth to begin with tbh

most of my problems stem from me feeling disconnected from my body, my surroundings, and my peers

if i had a solid sense of belonging i would be fine with sticking around

 

[JGT]

"A complete change in structure and functioning of society and human nature, with an emphasis freedom, justice, intelligence, and true equality."

Yes, this so much!

 

[spathiphyllum]

Honestly, nothing.

if I had it figured out in the first place I wouldn't be in this position

 

[clownangel]

Good health/no chronic pain. Money/stability because of it.

 

[Kramer]

My own house (renting is fine), ability to work, reduced or eliminated mental and physical illnesses

 

[Wrennie]

For me, it would take my parents not treating me like their 'doll' and excessively drugging me because they believe that my personality is a disease that they can "cure", and I'm forced to swallow pill after pill until my blood feels like it's on fire and my physical health rapidly declines. That, and no longer having to deal with CPTSD and other mental health issues that stem from having parents that function as my executioners instead of protectors.

 

[ineedtoleave]

Get my mental and physical health back

 

[Algo5]

A blow to the head not strong enough to kill me, but to wipe the memories of all that I've been through. (Although if the blow did kill me, I'm totally ok with that.)

 

[livefreeorpeace]

I'm just curious, we're all here for different reasons but we all came to the same conclusion. What would it take for you guys to want to stay on earth?

For me personally, I'd want a new identity, a bank account with 10 million dollars, and a house on the beach LOL! Just a wish, though :/ to be away from everything, to find a meaning in anything, to want a purpose in life. Sometimes I think i'm so cynical to the point I can't enjoy anything. Nothing has meaning to me.View attachment 54876

If I could just somehow be assured of a clean break from all the toxic people in my life, that would be enough for me.

 

[Them]

Since life is stupid chase of solving needs that didn't need to exist in the first place and death is inevitable then I doubt that anything would make me truly want to live.

Maybe heroin could do the job?

 

[Nicothe13th]

Rebirth

 

[FarAcrossTheWater]

Changing the past and getting rid of some truly awful things i.e. rape, genocide, war, and so on.

 

[Irrelevant biologist]

Social skills.
My OCD gone.
My dad alive again.