M

Musketeer

Student
Jan 24, 2020
188
most of my issues were caused by years of physical, mental, and medical abuse by my mother. Now i want to die as a result.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Not using a forum fifteen years ago
 
terry_a_davis

terry_a_davis

Warlock
Dec 28, 2019
707
mistakes i made were failing to understand the consequences of my actions, taking a good life and good people for granted. if only we had 2 chances at life :)
"you reap what you sow" applies to me.
 
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Space Cadet

Space Cadet

Member
Mar 2, 2020
64
I am unsure but a few that come to mind are not finishing school (getting deliberately excluded to prove a point to lying care workers), pleading guilty to a crime I hadn't commited in court on the advice of my legal aid solicitor through fear of going to prison if found guilty after pleading not guilty. Quiting a great job I loved as a teenager due to having to attend college for 10 weeks and it brought back memories of my time in the care system (children's homes mentality) and boarding school (were I'd suffered bullying etc) so felt I couldn't do it and quit the job rather than go to college. Gambling as I have no self control and always end up trying to win back losses or go crazy Ivan (as I did a few weekends ago putting about a total of 20K - every penny I had - on one match and losing so now I have nothing). I said I'd leave it to fate if I won I'd seek help - Gamblers Anonymous - but if I lost I'd CTB. Alas I wasn't able to go through with the latter as could not find a painless way to overcome my fears of failing - as have painful memories of a failed attempt by overdose from my teenage years while in care. Lastly abandoning my job I've had for over 20 years as I just grew to hate it (the work) and did not like some of my colleagues. Which means now I have no income so if I don't CTB slowly life gets progressively worse as I can't pay my bills so will run up credit card debts to do so aswell as buy food which ultimately means I guess I'll end up with bailfs and debt collectors at my door, have my utilities turned off and ultimately the housing trust repossess my home when I can't pay the lease holder fees and service charges. So the future looks bleak.
 
K

Kumachan

Specialist
Mar 5, 2020
396
1. Treating my dear wife like crap, cheating on her, being a complete asshole, make her cry and finally pushing her away... i miss her so much it hurts and its not going away...

2. Riding a motorcycle without a helmet.

3. Being born.
 
W

WhathaveIdone

Member
Feb 21, 2020
42
Never covering my bedroom/attic window then realising 8 years later that's the reason I've always been up at the crack on dawn.. no way of fixing this.
 
P

PDAnnie2610

Waiting for my bus.
Oct 27, 2019
701
I sometimes wonder if I'll be better off not having started this downward spiral, but since I'm stuck, would it be better to end off this life before it gets worse?

Thinking of my SN stash, and pondering on it...
 

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