What mistakes have you made that got you to where you are today?

[OreoWellington]

being alive

Me too.

 

[Phinleh]

I held on for other people. Should've checked out years ago but I stuck around thinking it was the right thing to do.

I'm over that now. I deserve to not hurt anymore.

 

[mattwitt]

Being a stupid fool with my money and not taking care of my body.

 

[HelpPlease]

Drugs. Psychiatry. Unprotected sex. Failure. Addictions. Brain damaged loser asshole shithead

 

[charlie_z]

Never being able to be me, always having to be what others wanted. Reading them so I'd be the perfect representation of what they expected. And losing myself along the way. I don't even know what parts of my personality are really me, or just parts I have because they were common that everyone expected me to have.

Messed up, but it all started out as a survival instinct when in like preschool periods. It's a mistake because had I not of done that, maybe the trauma I experienced may have never happened, and maybe, just maybe, ... well... I might have never considered anything other than living.

I understand this; I lived it. And perhaps more insidiously, most of the time I wasn't even aware it.

 

[Emily123]

I let two awful surgeons botch my body . The second one was supposed to clearn the mess of the first one but he was more stupid

 

[BlessedOffal]

Not listening to myself. Actively ignoring and doing the POLAR opposite of what my gut was trying to tell me. Had I listened, I wouldn't be here.

To anyone perusing this site, suicidal or not, listen to your gut. It knows.

 

[chris8000]

Not listening to myself. Actively ignoring and doing the POLAR opposite of what my gut was trying to tell me. Had I listened, I wouldn't be here.
To anyone perusing this site, suicidal or not, listen to your gut. It knows.

So true, I should have followed my intuition and instincts more.

 

[voyager]

Being myself, really. But in this case one of my traits cost me dearly. I've always been careless, almost reckless. On one hand that's a good thing, because nothing could get to me, nothing could tear me down, and I was always in high spirits no matter what. Even today a part of that still remains. The downside was that I'd often get myself into trouble or hurt as a kid. Not a week went by without us being at the doctors. I chipped my teeth, I bit my tongue, I broke my arm, I drowned. School life and the like wasn't much better. Problem is when you keep getting away with things this trait becomes a recipe for disaster. So, when life finally offered me an opportunity to fuck everything up, I took it. Never thought of the consequences, and never got a second chance again.

I'd say some of my biggest mistakes was just not listening to people and going about doing things my way. I suppose if I had listened to people more and took "good" advice, perhaps in some areas of my life it would have been better. However, 20/20 hindsight since one different variable will affect other variables so it's hard to say.

I agree, but for right or wrong, the fact that I've always been able to think for myself is something I do like about me. But same as you it cost me. I do feel though that if we regret our mistakes we're not really responsible anymore. Time is indeed a one way street. Not to mention some people didn't even have the luxury of making mistakes. So, really it's all just down to circumstance and our nature.

 

[Despondent]

Letting people walk all over me and them taking my kindness to their advantage in the far past is one of them for me.

living, breathing and making friends. I'm already a burden to my family. Once i kill myself i will still be a burden to my friends, if they even truly care. That's my biggest mistake. Getting close with people. I can't help it though.

I don't like to get close anymore to people. I put up this huge wall so no one can get in and I turn cold when I meet new people. Eventually I start to warm up to them and enjoy their company. I hate it because I always feel like people are just coming into my life and will walk out of it eventually. When I'm cold, I feel bad when I'm alone afterwards because I know myself to be a loving person. At least when I was my old self

 

[Rushon]

Staying with my girlfriend after she clearly no longer cared about me after my cancer returned. She played me like a fool and kicked me out. I am a romantic at heart and I think people will stay with each other through thick and thin. She had heart value surgery and I took off 3 weeks of work to take care of her. Wish I understood the true nature of people on this earth.

 

[hershberger]

Not listening to myself. Actively ignoring and doing the POLAR opposite of what my gut was trying to tell me. Had I listened, I wouldn't be here.

To anyone perusing this site, suicidal or not, listen to your gut. It knows.

Well, I clicked on this thread to write something, but you already perfectly captured what I was going to say.

 

[Jean4]

I was born.

 

[HannahB]

Not killing myself at 14 when I became an orphan.

 

[lofistos345]

Being born in this horrible nightmare called world. My life has been setup for to fail. My family is dysfunctional thus I became a nut job.

 

[Moonicide]

Being so severely mentally ill that I had to drop out of school. Just being born in general.
But my biggest regret was not being able to finish school.

 

[CrazyJason]

Trusting people seems to have been a major mistake for me. But, on the other hand, I can say people have made a mistake to trust me. I've wronged people just like I've been wronged.

Getting kicked out of the military was a major mistake for me. So was getting arrested and getting shipped off the the joint... twice.

living, breathing and making friends. I'm already a burden to my family. Once i kill myself i will still be a burden to my friends, if they even truly care. That's my biggest mistake. Getting close with people. I can't help it though.

Don't do it

 

[properchap]

My biggest mistake was to take everything for granted. I didn't ever suspect I'd end up alone with no family or friends to speak of & feel like this was the end for me. I didn't appreciate the life I used to have and I spoilt everything by taking drugs & letting my behaviour go unchecked. My list of actual mistakes is huge. I'm a sociopath with bipolar disorder. I was a terrible husband and a fairly crap father. I'm looking at the next 30 years and I cannot conceive of living them out, alone and haunted by my past. I'll never recover. That's why I've come here, to choose a method to end my life.

 

[WaitingAround2Die]

Too many to count but 12 months ago I was far too angry for far too long with my partner. Lost all perspective and she ended up leaving. Then I went off the rails...and really screwed up my life.

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Selling my apartment.
Going to an unexperienced plastic surgeon who botched me.

 

[enjoy]

i treated my ex-girlfriend like garbage and failed my first semester of college with a gpa below 1.5.

there's more, but my memory's so shot that i can't recall anything... so what i said above are the two most recent shitty events in my life.

i was also gaslighted, neglected and emotionally/physically abused as a child and teenager, but i don't even care about that anymore.

 

[Zoltiel]

Being born in this horrible nightmare called world. My life has been setup for to fail. My family is dysfunctional thus I became a nut job.

Hey there! Took the words right out of my mouth

 

[squirtsoda]

I was too young to know better probably, but making the decision to move to the US to be with my dad when I was 10 because we were poor in New Zealand living with my mom. I think living in New Zealand is much healthier mentally, the US is so much more cut throat, there's just no safety net if you lose your job or something. So much more anxiety. I wouldn't have been so pressured to go into a career I clearly couldn't handle because of my mental health problems and physical problems that were as of yet undiagnosed but once they were I lost everything I worked so hard to accomplish. Also my dad is a narcissist, living with him as a single dad was brutal until I moved out at age 17

 

[ansuperhero]

I was never able to find a good balance between trusting people and staying completely silent. It's always one or the other in my mind, and it was the first one when I was young, and then the second one soon after all the way to the present.

 

[UnsureWhatToDo]

Not listening to myself, too afraid to be proud of being smart, and appearing to be an asshole when I find flaws in people's logic and tell them about it. Wanting to grow and challenge myself so much, that I wanted to take charge of situations and tell others how they could improve. But telling others how to get better, seemed like an asshole thing to me. I was so smart, and wanted to grow and think about how we think so much, yet nobody else did. I was always different, being super anti social. I was different to society in a lot of ways. Was afraid if I looked like an asshole at all, even if it was in good merit, that I'd get in trouble or something. I threw it all away. Now I'm afraid of what I'll become. Instead of trying to get back, I tried to deny thinking about anything I was afraid I'd start to believe. or THINKING of ANYTHING at all. Now my mindset is all wonky. I should've just listened to myself. I don't want to become the stupid people I notice around me. I spent so much time planning, I might as well go along with this instead of putting my life back together.

 

[Pryras]

Trusting people, being naive and kind.
That is my biggest mistake that I keep suffering from even to this day.

Same here. Being kind and naive has brought so much pain in my life I wish I wasn't so passive too.

 

[Mustkeyknow]

Choosing the wrong career at an early age and staying on it to please parents.

That's it. Now I'm 33 and fucked up for life, my career went nowhere and I never really had a real job. No one will hire me as I don't have the experience.

I want to catch the bus so bad.

 

[br0kenMIND72]

One day I understood that my life is pointless and it will be full of suffering so I decided to CBT couple years after I finish school and here I am today planning everything.

 

[Marchioness]

Being born, my parents both came from highly abusive families and shouldn't have had kids as they passed that abuse to their kids. I'm grateful to have had the sense to get therapy for myself just to have a little sanity. Also going to college thinking it would get me a job in my field. I carry my debt and an ex's debt. Worst decision of my life.

 

[Kassender]

Believing in myself and that i could amount to anything.