What made you want to CTB?

[yoomi]

If you're comfortable sharing your story

 

[venin]

If you're comfortable sharing with your story

Depression was so bad that every second hurt like I was in hell, burning alive.

 

[girlsboysthems]

i hate existance of any kind, living is too tiring and burdensome.

 

[Gaga786]

Childhood trauma, bullying, neglect, feelings of worthlessness, failure in everything, zero passions, medical negligence,, unable to take care of myself. It feels like im drowning while watching everyone else in my life partying on the beach right infront of me.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing made me wish to ctb, I don't see existence as being something desirable in any way, it's just unnecessary and leads to suffering. I see wanting permanent peace as being a logical response to existing in this dreadful reality where there is unlimited potential for torture, I see existing as being something tiring and burdensome, only non-existence is appealing for me and I only wish for true peace, I just want to sleep and be unaware for all eternity.

 

[rosenrot]

I feel too lost. I have no direction and i just cant imagine myself with a future

 

[Sweet Tart]

I have treatment resistant depression and am staying with my narcissistic mother and moody stepdad. My mom actively & deliberately makes my life hell. I have no money and nowhere else to go.

 

[yoomi]

Depression was so bad that every second hurt like I was in hell, burning alive.

I really hope future brings you more joy

 

[venin]

I really hope future brings you more joy

You too. Easier days

 

[Cute_&_Loving]

i just don't belong here....... and I never did........
I always wanted to be successfull and beautiful and smart and...... and somewhere along the way I failed myself.....
And I guess the last drop was that I realized that I'd never find my person and would never be loved and understood.......
Basically bc I'm one big pathetic failing loser..........

U are nor pathetic or ugly or a loser. U are beautiful in your own ways. Just because you didn't succeed now it doesn't mean you wont in the future. I believe in you and your beautiful soul. If you ever need anything I'm truly here for you.

Appreciate it. Really. All I want now is to succeed at dying on my terms:) same here, Holler if you need me:)

 

[yoomi]

i just don't belong here....... and I never did........
I always wanted to be successfull and beautiful and smart and...... and somewhere along the way I failed myself.....
And I guess the last drop was that I realized that I'll never find my person and will never be loved and understood.......
Basically bc I'm one big pathetic failing loser..........

U are nor pathetic or ugly or a loser. U are beautiful in your own ways. Just because you didn't succeed now it doesn't mean you wont in the future. I believe in you and your beautiful soul. If you ever need anything I'm truly here for you.

I have treatment resistant depression and am staying with my narcissistic mother and moody stepdad. My mom actively & deliberately makes my life hell. I have no money and nowhere else to go.

I don't know how old are you and what your options are. If you're old enough try finding a job and getting a place.
After you find a safe space it will het better. My dad is narcissistic and a cunt. It took my time to realize that his problems have nothing to do with me as a person. I really truly do understand how it is to live in those circumstances. My love goes out for you

 

[jussaloser]

i tried to fit into the society so many times but i always ended up being a black sheep.
i eventually realized that this world was never meant for me so now im just testing how long i can endure.

 

[Borderline]

Life.

 

[UKscotty]

Just life is pointless and I know that.

Most days I am good and happy but I still know life has no meaning and its all for nothing.

We will all die anyway, so why hold out?

 

[angel_cries]

Chronic depression and BPD. Getting sexually abused as a child and cheated on by every girlfriend I had didn't helped either. But what is making me go over the edge is the feeling that has something wrong with me, with my existence. Nobody will ever understands me and I am faded to be lonely for the rest of my life. Not relationship kind of lonely, I meant human being type of lonely. I feel invisible. I only exist to people point my failures.