Help What like word/term explains exactly how i feel about my besties?

[Awesomefoid67]

So like i really love my besties but like it isnt romantic but also idk if its fully platonic either? i think it is but it feels like a secret third thing. like they are the only important thing in the world to me they are all that matters theyre perfect and amazing and it hurts that they only view me as just a friend which like i logically get it but idk it hurts. if i could i would live with them and be with them 24/7. they are my entire reason for existing they make me feel more stable and calm and akdnfkfhsjfhcj i love them i hope when i die i can just spectate them. i literally dont have a job just so i can hang out with them more and i even changed my timezone (effectively) and fucked up my sleep schedule so i can talk to them more/for longer. and whenever theres no vc or i realise theyre talking to ewchother without me i have some kind of moment where i either get like really sad and hate myself lr get angry at them and decide that theyre terrible awful people (sometimes this just happens for other reasons over tiny things like them ignoring me or lesving vc early two days in a row lol.)

i cant exactly find the right word to describe this though like they all feel too soft or like not quite right, like either theyre not fully correct or theyre right but like its not the full story yknow? like again it doesnt feel romantic but also not quite platonic, and like you could say its obsession but it feels like more than just that idk? like thats a part of it yes but idk.

(also tbh im still confused on how the split is like its mainly focused on one of them but its also the other who is her boyfriend but its also just them as a collective unit? idk? idk.)

 

[-Link-]

"Limerence" ("limerent") comes to mind here.

 

[Awesomefoid67]

"Limerence" ("limerent") comes to mind here.

i think i remember seeing this before but i dismissed it for some reason but i dont remember why, i might look into it more

 

[derpyderpins]

Agree with @-Link- ,

the only important thing in the world to me they are all that matters theyre perfect and amazing and it hurts that they only view me as just a friend . . .

whenever theres no vc or i realise theyre talking to ewchother without me i have some kind of moment where i either get like really sad and hate myself lr get angry at them and decide that theyre terrible awful people

is pretty much describing it.