What kind of fucked up person am I to be on this forum

[shelaysdown]

I actually feel disgusted with myself. I watched tantacruls video a while back and largely agreed with him. Yet here I am, part of the community that he scorned. This is absolutely a low point in my life, what the fuck have I done to end up in such a state of misery that I have to post about it online. Jesus Christ.

 

[Suicidebydeath]

It's not your fault, the world is very imperfect. I hope you can feel better soon!

 

[penguinl0v3s]

Not fucked up, just sad. That's mostly what the forum is. People that don't want to be sad anymore.

 

[timing]

Unfortunately, people like us do not fit into society which has been programmed to think what is right VS wrong and suicide is bad. Also society has placed benchmarks in our lives on how sucess is measured; money, family, career, cars, homes, etc.

We are the black sheep of society who do not conform. We are deemed fucked up, crazy, not normal etc...

 

[Justnotme]

Don't let people like him make you feel like a terrible person! The main thing in this world is not to cause moral and physical harm to other living beings. But when it comes to their own lives, then each person has their own philosophy playing a role here. And no one has the right to say that the desire to die is a disease or that it is wrong.
Everyone has their own truth and their own worldview. And some people intrusively impose their worldview on other people.
My words don't mean that everyone has to die.
But this is a difficult philosophical question.

 

[Innereye]

Thanks for calling us fucked up hahaha. There's a mix of saners and insaners here, best to look at everyone individually (including yourself)

 

[UKscotty]

I don't think it's about right and wrong.

I know its different for me here in the UK, we have a very open society here which is quite open to suicide.

It's more about what is right for you and how you feel about it.

 

[Soc]

We all found our way here one way or another. It's not a choice I took lightly and it took me a few months of looking and then rejecting before I started to think about it every day and start making more concrete plans. It is fucked up and there's a lot of us here. I'm shocked how young many people are, I felt bad when I was young but had a good decade of life and just feel now everything I had has fallen apart. We're here to offer support and no judgement coz we feel the same as you do.

 

[FallingGrace]

I actually feel disgusted with myself. I watched tantacruls video a while back and largely agreed with him. Yet here I am, part of the community that he scorned. This is absolutely a low point in my life, what the fuck have I done to end up in such a state of misery that I have to post about it online. Jesus Christ.

Cake123 hasn't shown up yet, it can't be all that bad jokes aside, the fact that you recognise that this is a fucked up place means that hope is not all lost for you. Reach out and tell someone you're feeling this way. Someone real like a friend or a medical professional. Don't get stuck here like us.

 

[gbi2]

It isn't fucked up to be here. For ever it has been ok to discuss and kill others in ways that have been justified in someone's head. Nation leaders talk about going to war and killing people and people discuss it and sometimes support the war knowing people will die in it. Same with death penalties, murderers and accidental deaths. But it's not seen as ok to talk about killing ourselves. That is what is fucked up.


Edit to add that here in the UK part of the Covid enquiry has covered comments apparently made by the Prime Minister and others, like "let the bodies pile up", or about old people "they've had their innings". Again, if it is ok for people to talk and think like that, it shouldn't be seen bad to be talking about killing yourself.

 

[SVEN]

"Most men (people) live lives of quiet desperation", Henry David Thoreau.
If you knew the inner thoughts and hearts of those around you, you may perhaps feel that you are much more in the majority than you presently believe.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Unfortunately, people like us do not fit into society which has been programmed to think what is right VS wrong and suicide is bad. Also society has placed benchmarks in our lives on how sucess is measured; money, family, career, cars, homes, etc.

We are the black sheep of society who do not conform. We are deemed fucked up, crazy, not normal etc...

We are actually the sane ones because you would have to be truly crazy to even want to be part of society.
I would rather be a black sheep anyday than work myself to death and breed and be considered " normal ".
The normies are also terrified of confronting the truth about the real nature of reality, and that they are living in a bubble of delusion.
That's why they are constantly looking for distractions and find meaning to life through pointless shit such as material wealth and other people who they feed off to give their pathetic lives meaning.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Ppl are going to CTB anyway if their life is bad enough. This place offers information on more peaceful methods which I am grateful for.

 

[Ash’Girl]

I only came here to say I like your username and now have the song on earworm. Great song

Maybe strange, but I never bothered watching this YouTube video. People who don't deal with suicidal ideation or intent rarely understand them. People that do rarely find empathy, support and understanding.

For all the detailed advice on this site of possible methods, I have very rarely seen anyone actively encouraged to ctb. Mostly only people providing the gift of compassion for each others struggles and supporting their rights to choose, whatever the choice may be. Which in my mind is far less fucked up than the way people who don't get it can treat us.

 

[Mayonaise]

You're not a "fucked-up person", you're just in pain. Suffering comes from a wide array of situations and each of us has his/her own story and dignity.
If you really were fucked-up (i.e. a sociopath, a rapist or a murderer) you probably wouldn't feel bad at all. You're a human being who's struggling, that's all. You are not to blame

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

You're not fucked up at all. You're in pain, and you want to express that pain and seek solace from other people. There is nothing morally wrong or messed up about feeling sorrow, and wanting to be consoled during a time of need. Don't let some youtube influencer twats convince you otherwise. Everyone needs a place of refuge and a shoulder to cry on in difficult times. Have some compassion for yourself

 

[Sprite_Geist]

You are not "messed up" for using this forum. Why? Because every person who feels or thinks this way has their own (and understandable) reason(s) for doing so; perhaps it is due to abuse, or financial trouble, or depression or something completely different. Regardless of the cause: not many suicidal people get the support that they need, and this is why people sign up to this forum, it is one of the only few places where your voice can be heard - really heard.

This is why the claim that users of this forum are "pro-death" cultists - who push others to their death - is completely false; those of us who are suicidal, and are also supposedly victims of coercion, are the same people who are also supposedly promoting death to said so-called "victims". I suspect this is why you feel awful for using this forum, but you should not; what really is "messed up", is how suicidal people have no where to turn besides a small corner of the internet.

 

[cryone]

honestly, this came off kind of as an insult to the community. you're at a low point and all these people have given you a safe space, yet you say "what kind of fucked up person am I to be on this forum?" implying that we users are also heinous people. we are not.

there is nothing inherently wrong with this forum. it has been one of the most welcoming forums/site I've visited. im sorry about how you feel and your struggles right now, but regardless your post seemed insensitive.