Discussion What is your purpose of staying alive up until now?

[trappedinthislife]

Holding on a little bit of hope that I can free someone from suffering. If I canr find my own happiness maybe i can guide someone to it

 

[nixolab]

My best friend which is my 3 year old labrador that I love very much! I just will feel very bad if anything happens to him after I am gone...

 

[onbekend]

I had a few goals when I made the decision that CTB was my only real option, none of which were really serious. Either way, I've accomplished all of my major goals and right now I am waiting to get a proper way to order the supplies for my preferred method of CTB. The deadline is August 17/18 (my birthday) and any time after would be too late and pointless. I can make a pretty solid guarantee however that I will do it before then however as the chances of failure are looking very low, thankfully.

 

[4am]

don't have a reason for staying alive for this long, i simply didn't have a method before, if i had one earlier i would be already gone. and now that i have it, i'm just waiting for the right opportunity to use it

 

[justdontknow]

I'm curious since this is a forum surrounding suicide, why is it that so many of you still continue living? What is your purpose to keep going until the day you do eventually decide to ctb?

Knowing that maybe I can try to understand and try to find more reason to live out this life before I ultimately do decide on the choice.

My answer to this is mainly finding an appropriate route. I have had the discussions with friends and family. I have always believed that I did not want to traumatized anyone even first responders! I could never understand why they make it easy for putting an animal down but so difficult for a human? If I had a failsafe route I would already be gone. Just for the younger people on this site I'm an elderly person who has a very different life not all bad and not all good
My reasons are not to cause pain or guilt for amyone! Death in it self will cause some pain of course but that is going to happen regardless of how you pass away. Try to live your life with kindness and the same in your death.

don't have a reason for staying alive for this long, i simply didn't have a method before, if i had one earlier i would be already gone. and now that i have it, i'm just waiting for the right opportunity to use it

I wish I had the way .

 

[justpeachyyyy]

I've gotten to the point of not caring about who it'll upset, what will happen to my animals, or who finds me. I'll be dead so I would literally not be able to care or be aware of anything. Of course, I'm only human so while I'm still here I feel a little bit of guilt but it's overridden by my daily mental suffering. I can't say anyone would be surprised once I did it, everyone that knows me knows I've been depressed my entire life and can't even go outside at this point. The only thing that's stopping me is finding a method that has minimal risk of surviving and my annoying body wanting to survive no matter what.

 

[Nihil2]

It's scary to fail a suicide attempt and end up back in a mental hospital. I think it would be easier with someone

 

[quietandsad113]

Idk how to kill myself

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I gotta get revenge against my abusive parents. My plan has a 5-10 year time horizon. I won't be able to leave in peace unless I see everything I want to achieve as part of my plan come to fruition.

 

[peaceisinreach]

I'm curious since this is a forum surrounding suicide, why is it that so many of you still continue living? What is your purpose to keep going until the day you do eventually decide to ctb?

Knowing that maybe I can try to understand and try to find more reason to live out this life before I ultimately do decide on the choice.

My mum and my boyfriend. I don't think they would be able to cope with me CTB and because they're such amazing people I would never want to traumatise them. If it weren't for that I'd already be gone.

 

[wall.713]

I think I have lost all of the small reasons for staying alive at all, honestly, so I don't really have any purpose… sometimes small things that change me for a while happen but deep down I know I don't have any purpose, and that I'm completely ready to die. The reason I'm still alive even now is the lack of time, motivation or SI kicking in. But now I'm just waiting for the right time and building it up for myself, but I know I'm ready and there are only a few days left until I really can go through with it. I'm still trying.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Fear of failure, life is not too bad, loved ones and my mom. I'm not suicidal enough anymore although my situation hasn't improved. I would prefer to live rather than dying but it'd be so much better if I was gone. Actually there's no purpose in staying but dying also isn't easy.