what if im faking my depression/suicidal thoughts...

[404]

i don't really know how i feel

maybe im not actually depressed and im just faking it so i'll get attention

im kinda going insane thinking about what im really feeling because i always think about two contradictory things when making an important decision and also i doubt that anyone could help me from this problem-

 

[アホペンギン]

If you're faking it (I doubt thats the case) then its a cry for help. If it is a cry for help then obviously you need attention and you want to be comforted. If you doubt anyone can turn you from having a strong urge to ctb then its your choice on what to do next. Try opening up about your problems and possibly try getting help, if anyone is willing to help. if not, its up to you what will happen next. No one is able to predict the future and decide for you, its your life.

 

[CH349]

I felt something similar to what you're going through once.

Take some time to reflect. Where do those feelings come from? If something happened that fixes your problem how would you feel? (For example if you were showered with attention from people you love would you still be depressed?)

 

[noleftovers]

I once read something along the lines of, "If you were faking it, you wouldn't be questioning if you are." Generally, people who are faking/lying know they're doing so, since they're making the effort to do it for attention or whatever other reason. While it's possible that what you're experiencing isn't depression/ideation, you're clearly dealing with some legitimate issue if you're having such thoughts in the first place. I also tend to have really contradictory thoughts and be indecisive, but that doesn't mean my depression or desire to cbt isn't real. Whether it is "just for attention" or an actual urge, it would probably help to talk to someone about things help untangle your thoughts and sort everything out.

 

[befree]

Your subconscious mind is crying for help and your conscious mind is looking for a reason to CTB.

 

[Stuckinpast28]

The healthy human brain won't actually let you have thoughts of suicide if it does you will feel almost sick to your stomach, it's a survival instinct that is supposed to prevent us from giving up in dire situations. If you are capable of suicidal thoughts or even thinking about a world without you there's a good chance that a psychiatrist would diagnose you with depression. Even if the depression is minor it is still something dangerous if left unchecked, it's like a snowball rolling down a snowy mountain in the beginning it might seem harmless but if you let it roll down too long it becomes an almost unstoppable boulder size snowball.

 

[404]

sadly i don't have any irl friends to open up to

if only i have at least one maybe my life would be better

i hate how the thing i need to improve my life is so simple but i can't have it

anyway i guess i'll try to reflect on myself again

 

[jcon7]

sadly i don't have any irl friends to open up to

if only i have at least one maybe my life would be better

i hate how the thing i need to improve my life is so simple but i can't have it

anyway i guess i'll try to reflect on myself again

be careful about who you open up to. i dont mean to scare you, but i opened up to someone who i thought i could trust, and they backstabbed me. test them a bit before opening up. all the best for you mate, and if you need to talk about anything, you can pm me and i'll do my best to listen/help/whatever you need. have a nice night.

 

[Sydney324]

i don't really know how i feel

maybe im not actually depressed and im just faking it so i'll get attention

im kinda going insane thinking about what im really feeling because i always think about two contradictory things when making an important decision and also i doubt that anyone could help me from this problem-

I feel that alot too, but if you think you're faking you're probably not

 

[chloramine]

Questioning whether you're making it up is a pretty common response in people with depression. Also if you were making it up and were that desperate for attention then that would still be an indicator of a fairly significant problem. In general that line of questioning is almost always another expression of depression and your brain hurting you. I don't believe you're making it up and if you were that wouldn't make you less worthy of care and attention.