I see it as the end of this excruciating torture that I have to live every second of this unfortunate life that I have had to live and am living, I see death as the freedom that I deserve,i see that black nothingness as the warm hug i always looked for in life,the eternal love,the eternal perfection.I strongly belive everything will turn in peace...no more pain,no more cold in my heart.Just the right ending to this life so suffered and painful.
Of course sometimes i feel very angry and sad because i think about all the beautiful things i deserved as every human being should experience joy and happiness and love and these thoughts make me cry a lot deeply because it hurts but very often the thought of me dying is very calming very peaceful i can feel a feeling of happiness and peace.