Help What do you do?

[LeftBankTwo]

The only thing I do 24/7 anymore in art, it's how I express myself as I slowly become de-motivated to do literally anything else. As of recent I have also began to lose my long lasting interest in art, what the hell do I do?

For a long time now art has been my only coping mechanism other than the occasional game, it gave me reason to live but now I don't even feel like my art looks good anymore? Any advice would be nice.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm actually the same as you. It was my one crutch in life but it's getting so hard to sustain myself financially doing it. Are you able to do it as your job? Plus, I'm losing my heart in it also. I feel you- it's really disorientating.

For me- it's partly I feel I'm being 'forced' out of it. I'm wondering if my luke warmness towards it now is a defence mechanism- so it might hurt less when I have to quit and take on some shit job again.

I suppose I'm thinking with more money coming in- if I get as far as getting another job- maybe I can try some of the more 'normal' things in life again. There are a few places I would like to visit or see again. Maybe I'll try and actually have leisure time between work to focus on 'fun'. Rather than just work all the time.

Really ideally though- I honestly just want to CTB when I can- after my Dad goes first. I'm sorry though- I know how painful it is to lose the thing we loved and gave us meaning.

 

[LeftBankTwo]

honestly just want to CTB when I can- after my Dad goes first. I'm sorry though- I know how painful it is to lose the thing we loved and gave us meaning.

It isn't entirely a way I can depend money off of it, it's more of my only hobby and the only thing I devoted my time to over the years so I unfortunately don't have a fall back to when I eventually lose all motivation.

It's a depressing realization and I wish I spent more of my time learning new skills so I didn't become entirely mentally dependent on one. It's a horrible cycle where I have burnout but I still can't find myself stopping.

I've also had a horrible stopping point ever since I got a job, I can't dedicate full time to my only passion anymore and the meds I'm on make me feel like a lobotomy victim, it's as if aging ripped out my will to pursue creativity tbh.

 

[Forever Sleep]

It isn't entirely a way I can depend money off of it, it's more of my only hobby and the only thing I devoted my time to over the years so I unfortunately don't have a fall back to when I eventually lose all motivation.

It's a depressing realization and I wish I spent more of my time learning new skills so I didn't become entirely mentally dependent on one. It's a horrible cycle where I have burnout but I still can't find myself stopping.

I've also had a horrible stopping point ever since I got a job, I can't dedicate full time to my only passion anymore and the meds I'm on make me feel like a lobotomy victim, it's as if aging ripped out my will to pursue creativity tbh.

Yes- I completely relate. You always hear that from people as a solution: 'You don't have to give up entirely- it will always be your hobby.' From my own experience and that of friends- when you start squashing yourself into a wage slave job- you just start to wither and die inside. It can be really hard to find the will to keep creating. Plus- most creative people I know are desperately unhappy when they can't create. I've always felt as if it was a curse as much as a blessing.

Hopefully, this is temporary for you and the passion returns but yeah- I expect the anti depressants are also limiting that. Are all these changes new in your life? Maybe it's just that you need more time to adjust. You can't really expect to feel the same if your time for creating is more limited, you are dealing with a new job and you are taking medication that alters your mood. Hopefully, as your body, mind and emotions get used to it all, you'll find a new pattern in life.