Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Spite]

Incredibly lonely. Angry and miserable thinking about my future. The longer I continue, it's only going to get worse.

 

[Rahat]

Everyday I realize how most people i have known in the past have moved so ahead in life. I am wayy too behind and i dont see myself coming out of this rut.

 

[disgustedbyhumanity]

i honestly wish my abusers, bullies and those who betrayed me get their karma

 

[Cavalcade]

I've relapsed harder into my eating disorder than I ever have before in my life, and frankly, it's exhausting.

 

[mars2027]

Birthday, because "happy" doesn't really apply. It's a meaningful number I'm turning, though… and I guess I'll stay that age for eternity. Let's go 27 Club yay! Anyways, since I'll spend most of the day sleeping I don't think I'll have to mask too much. Even getting just a few calls feels exhausting.

 

[violetforever]

im so lonely and talk to nobody (how surprising since i have no actual friends) to the point where my phone is basically useless and its still more than half way charged at the end of the day from how little i use it since i have absolutely no notifications to check, even on here its barely any. its sad how much im still rotting my life away alone in my room. why is it so hard to form connections with people beyond acquaintances and classmates? i feel like both me and the limited amount of people i encounter are closed off to progressing beyond that or something. i just have literally nobody in my personal life and im not sure i ever will. its affecting me in a way that cant be ignored now. theres no use in anything if im alone. no reason to buy nice things, watch or read stuff, and even form thoughts if i have no one to share it with. i hate how much i require human interaction now. i feel like attending school gave me an idea of all the human interaction i was missing out on over the years and now i cant deny how much i really do need it.

 

[Manaaja]

There's corn. There's porn. There's pop corn. But there's no pop porn.

 

[violetforever]

im so terribly bored. what is there even to do everyday? i feel like theres nothing to do and i lack any motivation. i feel so lost after i wake up and finish doing the necessary and usual things like showering, brushing my teeth, eating and texting my friend. i just sit and wait for time to pass by until its time to sleep and do it all over again. i dont see the point in doing anything. im so uninterested in my own existence. why does nothing and no one fulfill me? why cant i function normally? i wish anything had a meaningful effect on me. i feel so detached. i have a calmer and overall better living situation and im still not happy. i dont know what it will take. there is something so wrong with me. i feel like crying out of frustration from not being able to feel anything towards life right now. is this just derealization?

 

[nitrogenous]

I don't know, I hate myself. Today has been horrible. Actually not just today, this week, this month, this year, this life. Life keeps on getting worse and worse. Everything that I thought was a glimmer of hope turns out to be false. Everything that I thought could be my protective factor, turns out to be my greatest enemies. Even medical professionals have given up on me. And when they are stuck, they would tell me that it's my life anyways so I'm the one in control. That as an adult, I have the option to end my life. Gosh, if only it's that easy. I don't know what to do anymore. I hate everything and everyone, including myself. Why am I still alive and breathing? Why am I such a failure? Why can't I just die.

 

[Manaaja]

Sexless species: zero violence, rape, murder or abuse against kids.

Female-only species: zero violence, rape, murder or abuse against kids

Hermaphrodite species: zero violence, rape, murder, or abuse against kids.

Castrated males: zero violence, rape, murder, or abuse against kids.

Anti-castration species: total genocide, total rape culture, nothing but abuse against kids.

 

[scordatura]

I feel my body dying, I am dying slowly but not as slowly as most. Heavy smoking hasn't done me any good. My lungs hurt. I'm not going to stop though. Had a bit of a reaction, felt relatively stable for a while there, it hit me again though. Burnt myself quite a lot today... I deserve it. took a few diazepam, i feel a bit calmer. People are scaring me, I think people are trying to hurt me. I hope its imaginary. To everyone I love and care about, I am sorry for everything. There is nothing I can do to show them that. I am truly sorry.

 

[Redacted24]

Enlightened. I just realized that I was put here to build up expectations about me, then disappoint and hurt anyone that fell for it and cared about me.
It's all so clear.

 

[Manaaja]

Clothing piles of america are always like: what should I do today? Wear clothes or wear clothes?

Hey, americans. If you have problems, have you tried wearing more clothes?

 

[onedayillbok]

If I CTB with SN, when should i do it, will i be found before, also im super hungry, when will my door dash food get here, I should probably pay attention in therapy.

 

[yume_]

Stressed.

Every time I have to talk to some friends, ( not close friends, that I don't have ), its always the usual, just the "normal" topics of a conversation.

But I don't want to talk about just the "normal" topics, I want to talk about my real interests in music/movies, but they're what people call "normies" they judge when something is different, they would think I am weird. I am not going to pretend that my interests are not niche, but for fuck's sake I can't even talk about what I like anymore?

One time I talked about how there was an artist that I liked that was going to do a tour. I was Ignored. Completely.

They also complain a lot. Like I understand complaining, I'm doing that right now. But, everyday I have to listen to this: " I'm so tired", " I'm so stressed", "I've been feeling depressed lately", and it's getting to me. I don't want to be the asshole to say: " stop complaining", but it's getting to another level. I'm already going insane because of many reasons, plus that? I am almost snapping.

I think they're good people, just not the same type as me, different interests.

At the same time that I want to just explode saying all the shit that I've been keeping to myself, I can't because then I would friendless and just a pathetic loser in the corner of the room.

 

[Unlucky777]

Life is just not worth living. No matter how good life gets, underneath all of it lies that one truth for me. No matter what, life is just not worth living. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

 

[dhk96]

Lost and distressed.

I feel like I'm wryly staring at a fool (myself) chuckling at meme posts on here. This person knows that they can't actually hide away from reality and the passage of time, but they still try to deceive themselves into thinking that they can.

But because they have to force themselves to pretend to be deceived, the result is always a miserable failure with every moment spent and every memory made steeped in varying levels of discomfort, anxiety, and self-pity.

Could I have changed if I wasn't so hyperconscious of everything from the beginning? Or was the destination always bound to be the same? I can't see a me that wouldn't turn out to be a mess.

Am I actually autistic?

I'm so tired but I don't want to sleep. I don't want to wake up and repeat this cycle of pretending to myself. I know I don't have the time or freedom for that much longer. I'm too scared to accept that reality though or any reality.

I don't want to think. It's too painful and I'm too dumb to make use of whatever is left of my brain. I don't want to feel. I'm such a coward that I could never enjoy "living in the moment" as every moment is just a forceful push towards the future. Consciousness is a trap and living is torture.

 

[Mrlostman]

im so lonely and im just being used im so tired of it i wish someone would look at me

 

[endboss]

desperate because of insane stress and depressed

 

[Naturechewsonme]

I should have died years ago, I feel like a ghost walking through a life that doesn't belong to me.

 

[SleeplessAndSad]

I am trying to do all the right things but even then there are times I don't feel well. I wish my brain would be different.

I don't think everyone was made to live in this society. The only people who understand me are from this site. It's hard to live a life when you have to hide how bad you are doing.

 

[Manaaja]

My mother is just the kind of a whore who will gladly go and suck the dicks of the most evil and horrible misogynists and next day attend a "let's protect girls!" march.

My mother is KKK in sheets, anti-racist on streets, as the saying goes.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I can't survive contact with anything that exists outside my bubble. Whether that's people or events. Makes me feel like a fraudulent person. I think people see me that way too. I have no depth because I have no experience. Something is missing in me that prevents organic relationships. Like my brain searches for personality protocols and pulls up a 404.

I love my world but it is small, it is confining, and it will inevitably be crushed. It's let me hide from how diseased I am.

 

[Manaaja]

If a person living in a diverse american town/city, draws a thousand different humans, but all they draw are emotionless young light skinned teenage pretty girls (and their self-insert OC boy)

...I'm gonna assume they don't like males, dark or medium dark skinned people, people over 25, "non-model-looking" girls, or girls with emotions.

 

[scordatura]

The past 3 years I've been trying to convince myself I'm delusional... but 3 years later, I still have no clue what my reality is...

 

[msesis]

betrayed.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

Fearful of my future! On one hand, thinking about suicide gives me relief and removes the pressure but something in me wants me to prove myself to the outside world and make a life for myself. Although it seems impossible to do so considering my life circumstances and what has happened so it becomes very hard to even exist.

 

[Papa Shinai]

I wanna die but I can't

 

[4colliez]

im exhausted. i do too much. i wish that someone would care about me again. i wish i was important to someone so badly again. i'm just in constant pain. i'm tired

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

"---- fandom is so toxic!" What's toxic are these unaware freaks who obsess over "lolcows." Imagine—a whole website was created dedicated to stalking one miserable fuck.