Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[SchizoGymnast]

Migraine on the way. Of course.

 

[oatmeal.n]

exhausted, tired, just foggy. its hard to think this past year, and its only ever gotten worse. i cant even think about my own feelings- too much effort and not enough energy.

hopefully i start feeling better, doesn't look too hopeful. i got a dosage increase for this month, still talking to my psychologist. i want this to be over with. i dont like how i think, if that makes any sense.

 

[istherehope]

I feel lost, heartbroken, a deep sadness turning into a void into my ribcage.

 

[Daniel_79]

Feel like life is a game...the most complicated game imaginable where nobody even explains the rules, and every time I think I'm making progress everything gets taken away from me because I didn't take the time to understand the rules properly (even if I looked for them I'd never find them). Playing is suffering but I'm forced to keep playing even though I didn't want to join the game in the first place. All I can do is look on in confusion and struggle to understand how so many people seemingly find playing the game so easy. Maybe they were given some special cheat code I never got. It makes you feel more broken. Every time I ask for help people treat me like I'm incompetent and incapable for not being able to play like everyone else. I throw my tantrums and try to rage quit. I peacefully plan and search for the hidden exit. Always seem to find myself back at the start.

 

[Dark Moon]

I'm just tired and depressed. I'm kind of sick of life to be honest.

 

[hatchedonyx]

realised I've been in a manic episode the last few days and the crash has finally come. all the guilt of everything is suddenly overwhelming, but just ripped a pokemon pack from the stack I bought whilst in said manic episode and got a god pack. a win is a win, even in a time of crippling depression, guilt, and overspending.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

After getting "jumped" by depression in public several hours ago and having to suppress my emotions, I feel just… numb. I'm not happy; I'm not sad; I'm not angry. I don't have any desire to continue onward, and I don't have to drive to do anything, even the things I like. (Although, to be honest, there isn't a lot to begin with.)

Occasionally, a sliver of sadness and disgust breaks through. It's mostly when I just reflect on my relationships thus far.

I'm still in touch with my remaining IRL friends, but I've made some meaningful connections (or, at least, I think I did) through this forum. It sucks and it eats at me that I've found people who can understand me but they'll be gone at some point. I rapidly oscillate between caring too much about them and not caring at all, but I don't even know if my version caring is even caring. What if I think I'm caring but I'm not caring at all? I want to care about them because clearly they mean something to me, but sometimes, I just don't… care.

I'm just defective. From the moment I was born to now, I'm simply too faulty. I don't know what's wrong with me.

Dying is the only option for me. Disposing of a broken product.

 

[Lyn]

Like a faded neon sign humming in an alley no one walks down anymore. Still on. Still glowing... at least to some extent.
But for what?
Just a slow erosion of meaning. If it even ever was a thing in this world.

 

[SoulCage]

Just a small vent into the void, because I feel like I have to cry for help, but I know nobody can help me anyway.
Since I reduced my medication, my chest went from "something really heavy is compressing my heart, my lungs" to "feeling of relief, but at the same time a "pull" as if someone is constantly trying to remove a band-aid that is too adhesive to remove. It sucks so hard, this is worse than my sleeping issues before I started medication. I think there is no chemistry that can help me. Please make it stop. Doctors keep telling me it's just psychological source. They can't help me

 

[istherehope]

I feel alone. I don't feel like my therapist gets me. She seems to see me as a teenager or a dreamer who refuses to engage in the "real" world. That real world being corporate jobs, disappointing relationships, a plain daily life. I had so much dreams and projects and I'd love someone to get me. I miss my old self.

 

[Hangman.]

Bored and suffering from migraine

 

[Poiter1987]

Dread i suppose. I've fucked my life up and I see no way our of it. And I'm to much of a pussy to kill myself so I hang around this website. Wondering how I got myself into this fucked up situation. My memories are painful. I made bad mistakes. I can't turn back the clock.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I'm done. I'm going to buy a rope on Monday and attempt again. I failed my math exam, which isn't surprising, and I'm tired of this crap. It's funny, because my professor made it clear to us that if the grade on our final exam is higher than the grades on our other assignments then he will re-weigh them to make the exam worth more, meaning that I still have a shot at passing but I just don't care. I don't care how my suicide will impact those around me anymore. I feel miserable. I want out. I hate my parents for giving birth to me and I am at a point where I don't even feel bad for feeling that way. I still love them, don't get me wrong, but I also hate them. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of being stuck in a cycle of feeling better for a bit and then going back to feeling awful. I keep on messing shit up for myself, whether intentionally or not. I'm completely incompetent. My counsellor made me do some sort of contract thing as part of our safety plan in order to avoid having me ctb, but I don't care about that shit. I'm just so tired.