Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[anxious_depressive]

I'm so scared .So tired.

 

[CTB Dream]

This trap n9 able do any no able be self, wat do do nothin this all awfil life

 

[http-410]

Trapped in a vicious cycle of hyper- and hypoarousal.

I am sleepless, have constant heart palpitations, increasing anxiety (especially at bedtime), every noise is too much and causes great distress, and at the same time I am extremely exhausted and dissociated. On the one hand I can't stop thinking, on the other hand it feels like I have molasses in my head.

I wish so much to finally be able to sleep restfully.

 

[ThrowedAway]

I'm feeling scared and nervous and just overthinking things too much.

 

[ireallylikemangoes]

I don't know.

 

[M@fuyu]

Tired and numb from crying and insomnia.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Awake.... Yet again!!!

I can't sleep, I'm so pissed!!! At least I can catch up on the music threads. When I was here 2 days ago I wasn't able to like posts in some threads. April fools to me.
From misery to misery... F**k life. This is my happy place. I don't know how people do it.
Just existing for the big machine. This world is total bullshit.
Sorry for the rant... It's not about anyone here, just the shittyness of life.

 

[didn't-it-rain]

a little disheartened. i started a new medication a month ago and i felt like it was working well enough for a bit - was able to take some risks and stop dwelling on my regrets so much, hell I even had a couple days where my cognition and creativity felt like it had been "unlocked" after so many years of decline - but i feel back to square-one now. same story with every new medication i try these days. in a way it feels like my depression has become more treatment-resistant the older i've gotten. it used to be more manageable, i guess; but now that i'm older i am constantly weighed down by all my regrets, missed opportunities, etc., in a way i never was before. it feels hopeless.

 

[Unending]

I feel a little bit of a break from my usual mood after typing a bit but wouldn't say I feel swell by any means. I'm really trying hard to stay afloat and not let the guilt get to me. I become far more suicidal when I succumb to the guilt of my possible departure. I'm sure I'm not the only one here who resonates with that one quote about a prison becoming a home when you have the key.

Either way though, I'm not looking forward to waking up tomorrow but I'm counting my blessings or whatever because my usual pain has subsided ever so slightly for the moment. It comes and goes like crazy though. Who knows how I'll feel in five minutes. I have a pretty unstable emotional baseline.

Awake.... Yet again!!!

I empathize with you here. I've been waking up in pure rage lately. It isn't a swell way to start the day by any means.

 

[WonderfulWeatherDIE]

like shit
i feel stuck in a corner

 

[szk]

I feel like I'm there. Like just there. I don't feel happy or sad. Just, there.

 

[leaf23]

I'm having those thoughts again. That nothing matters. I'm gonna die, everything outside that window is gonna die. That all and anything I do doesn't matter. Hate feeling so black and void-y.

 

[drmihilo]

I feel very angry that I cannot commit suicide. I have nitrite and all the necessary medicine at home, but I still can't do it! This is a real comedy of cosmic proportions...

 

[CTB Dream]

All day rpt all day worse ,lose ablty do any this all awful see slf die but still body no die

 

[Murasa]

Just... What the hell? I recently moved and the first thing I hear is banging next door, my neighbor's house was surrounded by around 20 police officers, looking on the bright side that same night there was a storm and I could see the lightning quite clearly from where I am.

 

[Unhumanly.]

Breathless, choky, emotionally confused leading to physical confusion

Just feeling an extreme rage recently.

 

[CTB Dream]

This rly awful suffer all day suffer no stop

 

[hanima]

I am very upset right now. People that I considered friends just completely blocked me out. With no explanation. It's always the so called "kind" people that stab you in the back.

 

[jerry545]

I just want to sleep. My dreams are the best part of my life. If I continue to live, it will be soley to optimize my sleeping schedule to ensure I maximize the amount of dreams I have.

 

[thebadjive]

i am exhausted. when i said i didn't imagine living more than 18 years, i meant it. i can't remember if i had suicide in mind back then, i can't remember what kind of problems i went through. but rn, i am exhausted. it's just a constant cycle of negative thoughts falling back on me, i try my best to get out of it, it just never happens. i have no one to talk to, i do have a lot of people that care for me, they just don't understand. i love them from the bottom of my heart, it's just that no one ever helps, they're barely able to comfort me. i dont know what to do, i'm a mess, i hate it here. guess i'll wait for things to get a bit better

 

[Unending]

I broke down and started sobbing really hard in front of my mom today which is not like me at all. I feel horrible beyond words for 99% of my waking time and just wish I could die in my sleep. One foot out the door and one foot in, just so happens my other foot WON"T" MOVE. This is just fucking horrible.

 

[SpiderLink]

I feel empty. Like if you slice me open, you'll find nothing there. Just black emptiness. I go through life mechanically, and it's like every emotion I feel is fake. Like they're really just at the surface. Beneath, there's nothing. It's weird. I know what to feel but I don't feel it.

I'm hurting and because of that, I end up hurting others. I don't want to cause pain anymore. I don't want to feel pain anymore. I just want it all to end.

Currently? I don't even know. I guess numb. Idk alexithymia makes it dead ass hard to describe my emotions/feelings

 

[Rairii]

I'm so incredibly lonely.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

My empathy is so fucked. I'll feel bad that I can't help everyone, so I'll think, 'Whelp, I should die.' :)

 

[aubrey!]

this is supposed to be my final year in high school. i was hoping just to graduate, already decided i'm not going to college. but i ended this class with a 40 for the quarter lol. so, to average a 60 for the semester(passing without college credits) i need to pull off an 80. i don't think that's happening. i'm done for. more to worry about, more to ensure i lack a future. lmfao. i'm so funny.

 

[LocalAngel]

i feel like a bunch of black spiders are crawling all over me, and i'm desperately trying to ignore them because they won't go away. Constant dread. Constantly not being able to feel anything- both a blessing and a curse because life is absolute hell right now. I had my hope- my little ray of hope. And then it got crushed and shattered into pieces. Friends are nice. Love is what i need to heal. No one loves me. No one wants to love me.

I am broken. I need fixing. But i'm too much to fix- i want to reset and replace this self with something anew. But that requires a lot of courage- something i don't quite have yet. I'm so close though. I need it. I need to reset.

 

[Zegers]

The anxiety is progressive, this year i can barely deal with it, but a few years ago i could barely leave the house, i feel constantly edgy.

 

[SatouR]

I just feel Empty.
I rarel feel any emotions anymore and when i do it's pain and sadness.
I dont want to do anything anymore and because of that i am bored of life.
I dont have the strength to leave my bed and i just dont want to exist.
I am waiting for my chance to leave this world.

 

[SadDonut~]

Empty, hopeless, exhausted... Just want to disappear and be forgotten

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Restless