Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[TheHatedOne]

YES, THE NOISES DON'T BOTHER ME TONIGHT, FINALLY AT PEACE. Yes yes yessssss yes yes yes big victory for me. No more feeling frightened. Just me drinking and enjoying music.

 

[TheHatedOne]

i want to drink, again, to forget.

 

[Kristicide]

Extreme fear/panic that's also manifesting in me physically (like I want to vomit, and shaking). Sad, hopeless. Like my brain isn't right and so anxious that I could just jump off my terrace to land to my death. I hate this feeling. I've tried to distract myself by watching a couple things on TV I love but this feeling is too strong for me to feel better. My xanax isn't even helping anymore.

 

[Foresight]

My head is hurting. I feel kind of down today, existential dread type down.

 

[Squalo]

wake me from this terrible nightmare.

 

[Manaaja]

No matter how long I live I can never see that Cyrus girl from Legends as anything other than a time-traveling Cyrus cosplaying. I refuse to think there's a woman who looks exactly like a Cyrus with a haircut. It's easier and more logical to think that it's Cyrus who is training his team members to stop having emotions by dressing up as a woman and teaching them to remain quiet and emotionless in any event.

I accidentally wrote a Cyrus with a haircut as if Cyrus was a species which didn't normally have haircuts. I guess I should go to sleep, but I need to wash clothes in the middle of the night.

 

[TheHatedOne]

i want to cry because its been 2 months since im truly all alone in this world and no matter how i try to not think about it, it gets me, i don't want any of this anymore, i dont...

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

No matter how long I live I can never see that Cyrus girl from Legends as anything other than a time-traveling Cyrus cosplaying. I refuse to think there's a woman who looks exactly like a Cyrus with a haircut. It's easier and more logical to think that it's Cyrus who is training his team members to stop having emotions by dressing up as a woman and teaching them to remain quiet and emotionless in any event.

I accidentally wrote a Cyrus with a haircut as if Cyrus was a species which didn't normally have haircuts. I guess I should go to sleep, but I need to wash clothes in the middle of the night.

To be fair, many of the ancestors look even more like the modern recognizable Pokémon descendants than Cyllene does.

 

[Manaaja]

To be fair, many of the ancestors look even more like the modern recognizable Pokémon descendants than Cyllene does.

One of my New Year's promises was not to simp, but Ares.... Every Pokemon game should feature her from now on. And Mars and Jupiter and Saturn, and I have to see a staring battle between Cyboy and Cygirl. Though they nerfed that girl. Why would anyone be scared of cute little Pokemon bugs aside from Misty? If she was really Cyrus's ancestor she would have angrily stared at that bug until it promised to never show emotions ever again.

I wish I could adopt a Wurple. I would scratch its belly everyday and give it vegetable smoothies. I would name it Vumple Tumple (after Humble Bundle hehe, maybe I'm too tired or drunk, definitely time to go to sleep).

Mai has cool clothes.

I don't personally like the Cynthia guy and I wish he wore more stylish clothes like Cynthia. Oh btw! The game has another Cynthia ancestor too! She is stylish!

Btw, did you get the game yet? I hope you'll enjoy it!

Btw, please do yourself a favor and read some of the Pokemon mangas, if you haven't yet! You haven't lived till you have seen Cyrus with Shaymin and a young boy who tries to befriend Cyrus by singing his an anime song. XD It's one of the best moments ever! Cyrus is staring at the wall paintings in Celestic ruins while the good guys stalk him in fear, and suddenly Dia starts to sing an anime song. I really loved how the Special/Adventure manga made Cyrus appear really strong and scary to the protagonists. There's also this in another manga:

---

As for the topic, I feel a bit better right now. I drank a beer which I normally never do, I don't know if that helped things. Also, I just stayed inside the whole day. I've noticed that days when I don't meet or remember any of my parents or environment are better. I feel like today I got a small tiny break from my current insufferable life. I still wish things were better, much better.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Btw, did you get the game yet? I hope you'll enjoy it!

Btw, please do yourself a favor and read some of the Pokemon mangas, if you haven't yet! You haven't lived till you have seen Cyrus with Shaymin and a young boy who tries to befriend Cyrus by singing his an anime song. XD It's one of the best moments ever! Cyrus is staring at the wall paintings in Celestic ruins while the good guys stalk him in fear, and suddenly Dia starts to sing an anime song. I really loved how the Special/Adventure manga made Cyrus appear really strong and scary to the protagonists. There's also this in another manga:

I have the game, yes! It's pretty fun so far though I didn't get far enough to Cynthia's other ancestor (who I've already seen images of). I'll be sure to check out the manga too sometime. I think the only sagas I ever read were for Gens 1 and 5.

 

[TheHatedOne]

About to breakdown :)

 

[TheHatedOne]

abpt to cry but im also happy that this is going to end

 

[LastFlowers]

Human communication is so absurdly defective; so many conversations are nothing but concurrent, disjoint monologues.
There is no point in leaving a note. It is impossible to express what I want to express with adequate accuracy, and even then people only understand what they want to understand.
I wish I had a good method right now.
My incompetence is frustrating.

Yea..and many individual's propensity for 'selective listening' sure doesn't help.
Cherry-picking, stonewalling, retroactively altering, projecting, twisting someone's words into something unrecognizable..it's all so damn frustrating.

Super fucking calm even though my life sucks. It's the medication lol

Hand it over.

 

[allesistgut]

my head hurts, i'm tired and i just want to sleep.

 

[jenny6391bubbles]

feeling like a failure

 

[tiredsadandlonely]

I feel like a walking cautionary tale.

I feel like I'll not be able to completely appreciate much of anything, anymore, even though I want to, so badly.

And, I have people here, for me, but, I still feel sooo disconnected, and, lonely.

And, not strong enough.

 

[Sherri]

I feel grateful for everyone I met on thus site, gone, self banned, or CTB. It is/was a pleasure meeting all of you and all the new members I'm meeting and interaction with. Rain and Xero are doing a great and so as my sweet @_Minsk

 

[Foresight]

I feel weird. I'm trying to break through some dumb things.

 

[completely-done]

Overdue

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Feel numb, detached, floaty - finally. Suicide has been on my mind all day. Cutting has been on my mind too; haven't cut in a week and the urges have been picking up again. It's all been so tempting…

Went to bed early because I couldn't stand being awake anymore. I think I've been numbed out since I woke up. Can set suicide to the side for a bit because it feels panicked and desperate. Cutting though, I dunno. Feels like it's really rooted in my brain today and it just seems to be getting all the more tempting. Fuck….

 

[LastFlowers]

Fucking irritated that people won't cut the superficial bullshit, they just want to keep going with it..on and on and on.
I'm sick of being expected to give a damn about the pity parties of the privileged-
I DON'T CARE.
..so so tired of everyone clamoring to bend over backwards and offer sympathetic whispers in a greater abundance simply because someone possesses unearned traits that need not be admired (and could have easily saved the lives of many other suicidal people if they were passed into their hands instead, to be appreciated for what they are: fucking luck beyond measure).

 

[Al Cappella]

Alone…

 

[Looooser]

I'm actually kind of feeling ok since I found this site. I'm new here and I find this site comforting in a way. I love being able to be open and honest without being judged. But I also feel angry and upset about the recent media stories about this site. All they say is these sites just bully people into ctb but I haven't seen any of that at all. Weirdly I feel more love and support on this site than I have any where else.

 

[odradek]

I'm so fucking sick of everything...

 

[elfin]

lost, tired, empty, like i have no worth whatsoever. also lonely. so very lonely.

 

[absoluteanimal1]

Why can't my goddamn stomach feel okay for once. These stomach problems make me want to ctb I fucking hate them!!!!!

 

[tiredsadandlonely]

A little hope, lately, actually?
Let's hope it lasts?

 

[brainpain2]

I'm so fucking tired . Too bad I can't ever sleep despite taking enough medication to tranquilizer an elephant

 

[littlelungs]

I'm tired of "being nice" being seen as something that is inauthentic or otherwise not being "real". I know that the world is a fucking awful place and not everybody is genuine, and that some people have difficulties accepting when people are nice towards them because of things they've been through, and I totally get that and am guilty of it myself... on the other hand, though (and I can only really speak for myself), but when I say nice things and try to offer words of support to others, I mean it, and personally it's kind of upsetting to me when I see others blatantly look down on people who aren't total assholes all the time, or imply or outright say that being nice is always something that's "fake" or something that's just done for clout or whatever. I say what I mean, and I don't sugarcoat things. Sometimes I also happen to say nice things; that doesn't make me "fake".

Idk if I'm even making sense. Maybe I'm a selfish piece of shit who's taking things too personally. I probably sound like a "nice guy" and that grosses me out, but this is just how I feel at the moment.

I'm in an awful mood and in a fuck ton of pain, for what it's worth.

 

[stupidrat]

Angry and stressed beyond belief. Angry with myself for letting things get so bad for so long, stressed about the consequences of my own thoughtless actions.