Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Fimbulvetr]

hungry.... but I just ate so I shouldn't eat more ;;

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I don't have energy to do anything. Why can't I just stay in bed and rot away?

 

[person357]

Deep sense of emptiness/loneliness. I feel it physically in my upper abdomen. Feels like a void/black hole.
I cannot fill this void with anything. It feels that I'll suffer from it to various degrees as long as I'm alive.

 

[Pg.964]

I'm so exhausted my arms and throat hurt from being slit and I have not felt joy as an emotion in so long. I don't want to die but after so many meds and alternative treatments I start to lose hope. Every day is the same day for me. I live alone, I have no family in the country. I want to mutilate myself I don't want this body and being conscious is a curse. I can only come to the conclusion that there is only one way out. I just wish for peace not happiness, the torment is unbearable. I'm a husk.

 

[Life_and_Death]

feeling anorexic.
i dont want to eat..

 

[Life_and_Death]

wishing to be hurt more..
just to have the ability to say "look see!!!"
i didnt want to.. i didnt consent.. doesnt feel like enough...

 

[Kit1]

I am in a lot of pain, this headache that I cannot shake off and I really want to sleep and not wake up.

 

[nowhere_girl]

I feel addicted with no way out. Hopeless. Tired. Embarrassed. Ashamed of my own existence

 

[Life_and_Death]

feeling anorexic.
i dont want to eat..

im so sick of this.. literally. i was sick last night.. AGAIN!!
and the doctors dont give a fuck. ive had to of gone around at least 10 times in the last couple years.
"you have a needle phobia, sorry cant help you" (refuses anything without a blood test even though other countries have other options because ive read about it. another time i got kicked out for not wearing a mask, i literally cant because i struggle with breathing. and the last fucking time i was at the hospital the fucking mental health bitch tried to tell me to, forget hyperventilating and passing out)
and im gonna bet being atypical (still being normal weight, although barely, 110lbs 5ft3 bmi ~19 (18 is underweight)) is probably fucking "helping" their decision instead of listening to my fucking words!!
cuz, yeah, what my exterior looks like obviously tells the whole damn story. forget about how shitty i feel, the horrible body temp changes. the sweating and freezing at the same time, the headache. literally not being able to move because my energy bar is so low. yep, i sound just fucking fine, i dont sound like im dying at all.

fuck, i swear we need a whole fucking redo of doctors. fire them all, they dont do their fucking job.
i only ever had 1 doctor that was ever helpful and considerate of me (and it wasnt even for this). the rest of them can burn.

why pay taxes, and have medicare if it doesnt do fucking shit for me. your getting paid to do your fucking job so do your fucking job. not just shrug your shoulders and say 'oh well' when someone comes in fearing death!!! the exact thing youre fucking paid to avoid!!! just do your fucking job.
they never once took my weight or nothing. the only fucking reading they had was for a 'false' one because i wasnt sick when they took it. they make me want to hang my dead body out front like a flag, proud of yourselves? because you were when you kicked me out!

 

[Lullaby]

I just can't wait to leave this world…I have to stick it out for my cat, but I just want to go so bad. I hate it here.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

Today I don't know what I'm feeling now - my brain can't process what has happened. It entered a kind of emergency mode, which enables me to keep going even after experiencing a devastating loss.

My suicidal thoughts will never go away,
But my determination is what they can't sway.
I'll fight to survive until the bitter end -
I'm a living witness of my late friend.

Sorry if my determination is an illusion my confused brain invented.

Edit: I'm a pro-choicer and always will be. So, I respect their choice, regardless of what I feel.
I'll do my part - I'll press on - to honor their life.

 

[mywayout]

not much but also too much, like life is trying to tear me apart.

 

[£v£1yn]

I feel like saying the n word
I feel like saying the n word

 

[Defenestration]

Need to die in sleeping

 

[Mirrory Me]

Joy.

 

[huphup]

Apathy

 

[savoytruffle]

nostalgia in every sense of the word. i actually dug up vids and pictures from school and i keep watching them just deeply longing to go back to those times. i wish time could turn back

 

[carin129]

Overwhelming sadness and self pity

Me too. I can't stop the fucking cycle. And there is ALWAYS someone who is perfectly willing to remind me how I fuck everything up. How I hurt people. How I am lazy. I want out of here so bad. All I have to do is flip the safety off the gun and I am gone! I don't know what's stopping me from doing it.

 

[BlockHammer]

Overwhealm, confuse of what to do, and the fact that i haven't got a job make me worthless

 

[Kit1]

In a lot of pain right now

 

[Life_and_Death]

spent the last 2 days trying to recover from being sick. thank you anorexia.
id rather recover from MH, at least that doesnt fuck with your body

 

[Life_and_Death]

i was suppose to have done something good and moving forward today...but all i want to do is kms more...

 

[sadslime]

too much, pain, loneliness, grief and despair, i hate the person i care about the most and everything just hurts, i think i miss the feeling of emptiness compared to this but either way it'd feel like drowning in it so i don't know

 

[anxious_depressive]

Tired, scared and desperately suicidal.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Good

 

[this_is_it]

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you you care about me enough to keep me alive but not enough to respect me when i accidentally hurt your feelings, not enough to not scream at me over the littlest shit, not enough to not fucking hit me or slam on the brakes on the highway or break the tv or smash your phone, fuck you for keeping me alive when im too fucking useless to function and giving me hope just for everything to come crashing down over and fucking over again. if theres a god, can you please have mercy and just let me fucking die

 

[Kit1]

I think I just want to die.

 

[Final_Choice]

I'm so tired and anxious but I have so much work to do for my job and college. I just want to rest. I spent last night trying to set up full suspension but the rope I had available wasn't good enough. I've been a husk since this morning and I can't get any work done, making things gradually worse for me. I just want to rest.

 

[Soy un perdedor]

Giving up, not good enough, sick of myself, sick of this life. Fuck Christmas, Fuck everyone. Get the balls to get it over with. Put me down peacefully like a dog.

 

[兎の耳]

I really want to be held. I want to soak someone's shoulder with my tears.