Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[Tired_Dreamer]

I feel okay oddly enough.
I feel okay oddly enough.

 

[TapeMachine]

I wish so badly that I could die in my sleep tonight. I'm so mentally and emotionally bankrupt, and I just want out.

 

[Life_and_Death]

i wish i knew how long i was going to be alone for... i have my rope all ready to go... (i just took it off my neck...)
i want to do it now... fuck being saved, do it anyway?

sadly he came back... i wish hed be gone for the day...

 

[Wistful]

Just.... extremely tired.
And empty.

 

[deletednumber]

I've cried all night

 

[Zulu]

Impending sense of doom in the next few months. The urge to jump is really, really strong.

 

[igl00]

I hate my work life. I hate myself. I feel like no matter what action I take it just leads me back to the same place. I'm almost 30 years old and I don't have a career. I struggle with my finances. I make such poor decisions. I'm the problem and the solution is just to kill my self. But I'm scared to do it. I'm scared of ordering it. I'm afraid the police will come find me. I'm afraid I will survive the attempt. I'm afraid people will find out. I keep hoping the elevator will break every time I go to work because the last inspection has been years. Or I hope I get a heart attack and I don't wake up. Or the reason why I don't get my periods often is because I have cancer. Then I'm not even homeless or disabled or have a disability… and me feeling this way I just feel like a garbage human being. I also hate that I adopted my pets thinking they would solve my depression. I feel bad for them that I brought them into my life. And now we're stuck together … people who still find love deserve a better life and I hope if I die people understand that there is no cure for depression and give people the right to choose what they want to do. No one chose to live this life but it was chosen for us… so why make us a part of it when we don't want to be? Idk I'm just writing this because I feel really alone…

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Feeling good

 

[Life_and_Death]

stay with him ill get my wish??
isnt he just wonderful sui-fuel?

perfectly fine with leading me on and now hes downloaded a dating app but wants to keep me around so he has someone when hes not with someone.

i feel so fucking used....

even unintentionally hes good for it...

talking about some writing i did. "dont worry if its not 'perfect'. if anything thats only a hindrance anyway"

but i cant..its not good enough...no ones gonna like it...theyre gonna tell me it sucks/it could be better when i could just make it better and avoid that..

in him trying to be helpful.. all i did was realize living is too difficult for me...

 

[Life_and_Death]

bf: quit smoking up for me
exhus: buys weed and gummies
me: umm..... sure??

fuck addictions and people that pull in directions

 

[Kit1]

I would rather be dead that open that front door as I can hear the guests (who are visiting) getting out of their cars. Dreading the next few hours. Better start acting like a "normal human". Death has to be better than this.

 

[Lullaby]

Me: "I've been really struggling, thought about admitting myself."

Person who can never stay consistent with me, ghosts after short conversations, unreliable…:
"Why didn't you say anything to me?!"

People are so funny…it plays out like a joke at my expense, but it's all real. It feels like I'm in some sort of delusional universe, and no one can acknowledge what I'm seeing or feeling; what they do to me. It's insane, and it's driving me crazy.

I hate this. Argh, I've only been awake for an hour and I'm already breaking down…just can't wait for this nightmare to come to an end one day.

 

[get.some.sleep]

I feel an all encompassing emptiness. There's a hole in my heart that only one person can fill but they no longer want anything to do with me. I've tried filling that hole with other things but nothing fits. I just miss her so fucking much. I just want the pain to stop. I'm not 100% sure I'm going to CTB but the thought of doing so has gone from a passing thought to a near obsession because I just don't know how else to make the pain stop and I just want it to stop so fucking bad.

 

[traumer]

that one roblox oof sound... forgot to do the assignments... actually never even started... school starts soon... tired but in a manic way... idk how looking for SN resources in turkey while listening to carole & tuesday osts... specific i know

 

[Kit1]

Physically - I am in a lot of pain, exhausted, feeling extremely nauseous and lightheaded. Psychologically - exhausted, in pain, just want to sleep and not wake up. On a positive note - only one flashback today which means it is a better day than most days.

 

[leloyon]

I want to put a knife through my god damn neck.
Not any other method, that specifically.
I'm sleep deprived and already today I've been alternating between feeling so depressed I can barely think and feeling blind rage, just the urge to scream and start smashing whatever and whoever into a pulp.
Recently came to terms with an uncomfortable thing, hence my current state. Forgive my lack of elaboration, I was going to post about it here when I first came to terms with it but I physically didn't want to. I just sat, staring at my half-typed post, every fiber of my being not wanting to actually write about it, have to go through the details of it.
I need some fucking sleep.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

I miss my recovery buddy. I never told him I loved him. If he were here I would've kept him company this week during his ctb because it's Thanksgiving break, but now he'll never know. I regret so much. I think of what happened obsessively, and what could've been different.

 

[Seaghost]

Im so...exhausted to write.
Need new flat sharing...dont want to live here anymore.
A house in the woods besides a river...what dream...what a salvation. Oh boy...too much people...headache...

 

[Life_and_Death]

i thought id do something good/nice for myself (go out to the xmas market. which is way too early for that shit, but i didnt set the date).

and all that did was make me want to kill myself right there.
total mental breakdown. like blacking out, i wanted to start pushing people out of my way so i could leave. i hated myself for wanting to leave. i didnt buy anything. we spent money on parking and tickets so i could have a mental breakdown. my back and right side of my neck is all scratched up and burns.

why do i bother doing things.
i feel like i have a t chart. suicide | dont suicide and the suicide side, just has waaay too many checks under it, and another was added today, yay me

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Okayish

 

[Kit1]

Exhausted. In pain. Emotionally and physically drained.

 

[Life_and_Death]

exhusband "hey look at this video of someone that had lots of parental love and support. look what she did by the age of 16!!"

i realize these arent the actual words hes saying....(well the last sentence is)..but it hurts...because i just know i could have been so much more if my parents just loved me...

 

[Csmith8827]

Just kinda sick to my stomach and tired of living.

 

[katattack]

Exhausted

 

[deletednumber]

I often dream and wish that my parents have a car accident and survive paralyzed, or that my brother gets stomach cancer... I wish the three of them will have a lot of suffering... they disgust me to the point of making me feel sick vomiting, they deserve so many bad things because they are evil beings. May you be cursed.
I understand why some people kill their parents or their siblings with their own hands... you can't really judge what happens behind the closed doors of a house... sometimes the real monsters and demons are directly in your family... they are your parents.

 

[NocturnILL]

Felt some relief today…therapybwasnr that bad. I went to the gym and did some cardio. I feel tired now but not in a bad way. I am kind of just waiting for my emotions to plummet. Toxic af…my feet are cold too.

 

[Kore]

I feel numb. Empty. Lonely. But mostly just numb. Motivation and drive are almost completely at zero now. The days don't end, just cycles between light and dark, and I pass out for the dark part and then carry on. Feels endless. Idk how to get back. Or if I want to get back. What would be the point. Everything feels so grey, even the 'fun' things feel vague now, desaturated. Feels like a spiral, downwards, slowly - but surely. It's late. I guess I should pass out for a while till it's light again.

 

[asian.neet]

I WANNA DIE IM SO ANGEY AT THE WORLD AND THERAPY I JUST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

[user933957]

I am feeling a mix of angry and tired. I am tired of being here and I want to leave. there's alot of emotions that I am feeling right now, it's as if all of them were pushing down on me in a circle, pushing and pressing to the middle of my body. if that makes any sense.

 

[Nanako]

Profound sadness. Despair. Don't really wanna die but living is so much worse. Can't stand this anymore, I never asked for much so why am I being punished like this? I just want to scream, I can't take it anymore