Want to go tonight or tomorrow

[heylightiforgot]

I'm tired. Tired of my own self-lies, fantasies, delusions. Tired of being a literal prisoner at home. Tired of my parents despising me.

I don't think I will ever attempt SN at home because it's just too risky. But I have quite a lot of Valium on me (about 100mg) and am very weak/incapacitated. If I can get out to the beach and drown myself after taking pills, would that be a bad way to go? The only plus is that it's effectively guaranteed with my physical health.

 

[jgm63]

Not sure....
Would there be an option to do SN, but not at home, eg at the beach that you mentioned ?

As always, please note that if you can get better and recover, then that should always be your first choice.
I would never encourage anyone to do anything that would cause harm to themselves.

 

[heylightiforgot]

Not sure....
Would there be an option to do SN, but not at home, eg at the beach that you mentioned ?

As always, please note that if you can get better and recover, then that should always be your first choice.
I would never encourage anyone to do anything that would cause harm to themselves.

It's too difficult to fast during the day due to my poor health so I'd never reach the beach on an empty stomach. I can only fast overnight and my mom works at home. I'm also starting to dislike the idea of poisoning myself. But I don't know how painful drowning would be if one has od'd? I have also considered trying this in the bath -- again might work due to my poor physical state. But I can't afford to fail.

 

[jgm63]

Perhaps you could just do a 6 hour fast. If it takes you 1 hour to get to the beach, then you just have to find some way to pass the time for 5 hours, which should be possible even though not ideal. Perhaps you might want to hide your phone somewhere near home, so you aren't tracked, but can retrieve the phone again if you don't go through with it, etc.
Just thinking out aloud for possible solutions I suppose....

As always, please note that if you can get better and recover, then that should always be your first choice.
I would never encourage anyone to do anything that would cause harm to themselves.