Waiting for death your whole life?

[persuasion]

What is a life to live by when you wait for death from your youth until you are old? The most frightening thing is, that it actually seems possible the older I get, to just live 60 years with death as the only real wish and thing to look forward to. I thought at some point something would change, but no. Over ten years of suicidal ideation and there's no stop in sight. Death is the only thing that's logical, yet here I am living by day doing stuff, thinking stuff, feeling stuff. Theye days amount to years, to decades, until an average death. I already gave up making sense of this. Just how it goes I guess.

 

[FuneralCry]

Death is all I wish for as well, I just see existing as a futile process of waiting around to die, eventually no matter what this existence will disappear into nothingness with all finally forgotten about which is the only comfort for me.

 

[remluvr]

I do Not want to live till I'm old, It seems honestly painful to have To watch The people Around you Die While also slowly dying. I'd rather die On my own terms then Wait for the end.

 

[WaitingAllMyLife]

Yes! Yes! Yes! Hence my username....

I can't wait to get out of here. Been wanting to die for over 36 years now. When my mom passes away I will finally be free. I'll go right after her.