Discussion User Discussion Megathread

[Lara Francis]

I am so sorry for your loss.
Rest in peace @Purgatory
We often meet the most incrediable people at our lowest point and these people become some of our most special and influential people in our lifetime.
One of my best friends is also called my bridge friend because of our chance meeting during an attempted suicide.

Its admirable that his family are showing you kindness given they know how you met but they must also find comfort in knowing about your lovely friendship and support you gave.
I hope that he too is traveling the world to reach his dreams.
I send you hugs and hope you can find the strength to live as you had agreed.
We are always here for you.
Xx

 

[TAW122]

Rip @Purgatory and you have a really close knit relationship with him.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

A good friend and fellow forum member has asked me to post this here. The reason for anonymity will become clear:

"I've asked this information to be passed along to you in regards to our friend @Purgatory. He has passed. He died of sudden cardiac failure due to an enlarged heart. At first it was assumed he CTB, but it turned out it wasn't. It was his heart. His family has been very generous in keeping in touch with me (even after they found out how we met- the reason I'm asking someone else to post this- I prefer they don't know my username if they happened to visit this site).

He and I met here & decided to become partners in January. When he visited for our first meeting, something else transpired. We decided to take a chance at living and developed a relationship, a sort of pact to live. The first visit we had, he got me out of my house (outside of work) for the first time in months. I went places with him with no panic attacks, even to restaurants and stores! I felt almost human when I was with him. I still am not sure how to keep advancing forward without him. I'm in shock. I miss him.

Over the next few months we visited when we could (there was quite a distance between us- so visits were few) and talked/texted all the time. Things weren't perfect, as they never are, but we were there for each other. I used to cry and tell him that he just needs to let me sit alone in my sewer, covered in shit. He refused and told me that he will sit with me in the darkness, in the shit sewer until the end of time with me if he had to. That was the kindest thing anyone has said to me during my whole stint with crippling depression. He was a good person.

One of his dreams was to travel the world, with his work as an airplane mechanic he could get jobs nearly anywhere with an airport. If there is an afterlife, I hope it is one that people get to live their dreams. That he is traveling the world, doing what he loves. He was a good man. And he is no longer in purgatory. He's set free."

So sorry for their loss. Did I read that correctly that you are just passing on the sad news ? I find myself at a loss for words at the moment.
I hope that Purgatory is finally at peace.

 

[TiredHorse]

Did I read that correctly that you are just passing on the sad news ?

Yes. Another forum member, Purgatory's Friend ("PF"), wrote up the information, but Purgatory's family is aware of this website, might be keeping an eye on the site, and "PF" wanted to keep their username unknown to the family. The family is, to my understanding, being very kind to "PF," in light of their close and supportive friendship in what became a mutual intention of recovery, but as we all know, a degree of anonymity is comforting here. Thus I am serving as an intermediary so that the forum populace is aware of just what happened.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Yes. Another forum member, Purgatory's Friend ("PF"), wrote up the information, but Purgatory's family is aware of this website, might be keeping an eye on the site, and "PF" wanted to keep their username unknown to the family. The family is, to my understanding, being very kind to "PF," in light of their close and supportive friendship in what became a mutual intention of recovery, but as we all know, a degree of anonymity is comforting here. Thus I am serving as an intermediary so that the forum populace is aware of just what happened.

Thanks again for letting us know. I'm not always able to be on here but I do remember Purgatory. If you could pass along my sympathy to
Purgatory's friend & family … Thank You. I know that most of us on here want it to end. It's still sad to lose someone on here that we talked to.

 

[color_me_gone]

@TiredHorse , please pass along our condolences and sympathy to "PF", and if possible, PF could pass along to the family. It is a bummer to have your heart give out, at a time when you a looking forward to a new lease on life, and have a reason to live. It is also a bummer for PF to lose her close friend.

 

[not_a_robot]

@Alan James...?
Hope you became an awesome hologram but, barring that, hope you are ok.

 

[Amber1974]

I really miss Chinaski and his cigar-smoking wisdom, he's been gone since March

 

[Cleopatra123]

Rip @Purgatory and you have a really close knit relationship with him.

There should be some kind of movement to promote legal euthanasia; with logical rules, a dying person should go in peace not pain

 

[Dreamcolleger]

Has anyone heard from @PatKat? He seemed like an interesting guy.

 

[PatKat]

Has anyone heard from @PatKat? He seemed like an interesting guy.

I am still around, just to depressed to do anything except stay alive. :(

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I really miss Chinaski and his cigar-smoking wisdom, he's been gone since March

I miss him too I guess he made it to the other side.

I am still around, just to depressed to do anything except stay alive. :(

Good to see you are still around. Feel free to say hi every once in a while.

 

[color_me_gone]

I miss him too I guess he made it to the other side.

I don't think @Chinaski ctb'ed, just left the site.
I'd heard from others he was getting fed up with the scammers, and all the fake people.

 

[not_a_robot]

I am still around, just to depressed to do anything except stay alive. :(

I wish things could get better for you.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I don't think @Chinaski ctb'ed, just left the site.
I'd heard from others he was getting fed up with the scammers, and all the fake people.

Sorry he felt he had to leave.

 

[color_me_gone]

Sorry he felt he had to leave.

I know, he was very smart, and kept order here.
Not the same without him.

 

[lululoo]

I know, he was very smart, and kept order here.
Not the same without him.

In my opinion, he was a bit of a bully and sometimes accused innocent people of being scammers. He deployed his humor primarily to mock people here that he considered stupid. Still wish him well wherever he is, but I don't understand the adulation.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

I really miss Chinaski and his cigar-smoking wisdom, he's been gone since March

Yea, me too Amber. He was honest, forthright, and a wee devil. I admired him greatly...

 

[blanketyblk]

I worry about tolateforme. she sound so desperate at the end. i do hope she is alright and hasn't pass on. her writing was so passionate. and i still miss scribbles! :-( /cry

 

[Boonks]

Has anyone heard from @SMarie1204?

 

[throwaway123]

I feel like everyone here is making too much effort into building friendships. Please don't forget this isn't facebook. This is a pro-choice forum and most members CTB after not even less than a year.
I'm sure you've noticed that the userbase is constantly changing and noone ever really sticks around.It's just the nature of this kind of forum. Making friends on a site like this is just asking to be hurt...
I mean sure you find a friend and then what. One of you will die and then the other is hurt and in even more pain. Do you really want that? Because that happened to me too and it hurts every day. Those of you who've lost someone know how it feels. I can't even believe that it's real even after a year has passed.

 

[Soul]

I feel like everyone here is making too much effort into building friendships. Please don't forget this isn't facebook. This is a pro-choice forum and most members CTB after not even less than a year.
I'm sure you've noticed that the userbase is constantly changing and noone ever really sticks around.It's just the nature of this kind of forum. Making friends on a site like this is just asking to be hurt...
I mean sure you find a friend and then what. One of you will die and then the other is hurt and in even more pain. Do you really want that? Because that happened to me too and it hurts every day. Those of you who've lost someone know how it feels. I can't even believe that it's real even after a year has passed.

We're not "putting effort into building friendships". We care about people we've interacted with in unusually open ways in very vulnerable situations. I'm sorry for your loss but your remarks about others here seem off-base.

 

[stellabelle]

Both of you share valid points, TAW and Soul. I can see both sides. Proceed with caution.

 

[Deleted member 4288]

Anyone know what happened to @quiet35 ?

He was recently banned and his profile is completely inaccessible, which I don't think usually happens when a user is banned??

 

[color_me_gone]

Because that happened to me too and it hurts every day.

Yeah, it happened to me too.
You give fair warning.
I maintain more distance now.
But it is very hard, because, while most of us are not very social IRL, me included,
it is easy to be social on SS, because we all share common experiences and goals.
Also, very little judgement here.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I feel like everyone here is making too much effort into building friendships. Please don't forget this isn't facebook. This is a pro-choice forum and most members CTB after not even less than a year.
I'm sure you've noticed that the userbase is constantly changing and noone ever really sticks around.It's just the nature of this kind of forum. Making friends on a site like this is just asking to be hurt...
I mean sure you find a friend and then what. One of you will die and then the other is hurt and in even more pain. Do you really want that? Because that happened to me too and it hurts every day. Those of you who've lost someone know how it feels. I can't even believe that it's real even after a year has passed.

We're not "putting effort into building friendships". We care about people we've interacted with in unusually open ways in very vulnerable situations. I'm sorry for your loss but your remarks about others here seem off-base.

Both of you share valid points, TAW and Soul. I can see both sides. Proceed with caution.

Yeah, it happened to me too.
You give fair warning.
I maintain more distance now.
But it is very hard, because, while most of us are not very social IRL, me included,
it is easy to be social on SS, because we all share common experiences and goals.
Also, very little judgement here.

I understand throwaways point. I used to talk to someone on here almost everyday … even if it was to say hello. I do believe they CTB last year.
It did hurt and I was sad but I don't regret it at all, I still miss them but I hope they are in a better place.
I don't usually pm members though I did a couple weeks ago about a question they had but once the question was answered we haven't spoken since in A PM. I would still talk to them again if they wanted to.
There are people I miss even though we never talked privately. I don't think you can completely shut off your feelings.
I think it's easier to get attached to people on here because they understand what we are going through. Maybe not everything but at least wanting to CTB.
I agree with color_me_gone ... I'm not very social IRL either. I have a few friends but I can't talk to them about CTB.
It doesn't hurt to maintain some distance and I wouldn't meet anyone IRL from here. (I don't even know if I'm close to anyone on here anyway)
Anyway ... just a few rambling thoughts.

 

[Cleopatra123]

I understand throwaways point. I used to talk to someone on here almost everyday … even if it was to say hello. I do believe they CTB last year.
It did hurt and I was sad but I don't regret it at all, I still miss them but I hope they are in a better place.
I don't usually pm members though I did a couple weeks ago about a question they had but once the question was answered we haven't spoken since in A PM. I would still talk to them again if they wanted to.
There are people I miss even though we never talked privately. I don't think you can completely shut off your feelings.
I think it's easier to get attached to people on here because they understand what we are going through. Maybe not everything but at least wanting to CTB.
I agree with color_me_gone ... I'm not very social IRL either. I have a few friends but I can't talk to them about CTB.
It doesn't hurt to maintain some distance and I wouldn't meet anyone IRL from here. (I don't even know if I'm close to anyone on here anyway)
Anyway ... just a few rambling thoughts.

For some who feel so empty in life, it is a privilege to share with understanding people, and it may be the last privilege, perhaps it is a fitting end. Though, it is a bit absurd to think of these as real friendships, whatever peace we can share with those suffering I think is a big plus.

 

[Life+me=error]

What happened to the 2 Canadians ah I mean trolls?

Unforgiving how they caused panic and pressured members to CTB as soon as possible.

QUOTE from @LifeIsNotFun:

"If people have N, plan ASAP. Otherwise that dream to CTB peacefully is gone."

Funny thing, people turned on me for not believing a 'trusted' member. Lol

I will change my mind about them once they show prove. I mean they should be able to take a picture right?! Afterall, the police was gracious enough to tell them about the whole case and let them keep their phones to report about it.

Cheers.

 

[eleanorrigby]

I feel like everyone here is making too much effort into building friendships. Please don't forget this isn't facebook. This is a pro-choice forum and most members CTB after not even less than a year.
I'm sure you've noticed that the userbase is constantly changing and noone ever really sticks around.It's just the nature of this kind of forum. Making friends on a site like this is just asking to be hurt...
I mean sure you find a friend and then what. One of you will die and then the other is hurt and in even more pain. Do you really want that? Because that happened to me too and it hurts every day. Those of you who've lost someone know how it feels. I can't even believe that it's real even after a year has passed.

Is nobody here scared of his own privacy? People here are like tell me what kind of help you need from this user or why are you exactly here. I mean isn't that a bit naive to tell everyone when and how you are going to die? I mean this site will end up shut down like this and the law will find you... This site isnt even anonymous! Can someone explain me why you are risking that much? I apologize for not being word-perfect in English.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

I'm very worrried about @brighter and @AnnihilatedAnna . Haven't seen them for more than a month. I used to kik with Anna but didn't answer anymore, kik kow says her device's off. Anna and I had promised each other to warn before ctb. She didn't say anything, I have a little hope though.