Hello
(Please excuse my English, I'm using a translator).
What I am sure of is that I'm going to do it; what I'm not sure of is the method.
I'll tell you a little about my methods, because the reasons don't really matter; I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible. (I suppose like everyone else).
Let me explain the situation: I live alone in a villa in the countryside, 4 km from the city, with only two neighbors nearby. I have a swimming pool and a small plot of land.
A couple of months ago, I tried tying a plastic girlfriend around my neck, but it didn't have the desired effect. I wore it for an hour, passed out, and then regained consciousness. I wandered around the entire house: bedroom, kitchen, dining room. My eyes and lips were swollen, I couldn't see anything, but my trachea wasn't blocked, and I could breathe, albeit with difficulty. Finally, I thought this would never end, and somehow I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and cut my girlfriend, thinking that if I couldn't cut her, I'd cut a vein, but that didn't happen. I had to go to the doctor to get a medical certificate, and that's how it's been ever since. I went to a psychologist, and the psychiatrist prescribed fluoxetine, but after six weeks I received bad news, and my head exploded again with more desire than ever to end it all. But I told myself there had to be information online. And that's how I found SaSu.
I've chosen the nighttime method or hanging myself.
Regarding the nighttime method, I like it because I can do it at home on my favorite sofa. I have all the materials, and I've been testing it; it seems quite feasible. What I don't like about this method are several things. If it goes wrong and I just faint and don't actually die for whatever reason, I'd be really bummed out about peeing on my favorite sofa—it would be a real bummer (I love that sofa). Another thing I'm not too keen on is that if I do it right, I might run into my ex-wife, and I wouldn't want her to remember me like that. Anyway, whether it's this method or the other, I plan to wear a hat, a mask, and sunglasses. Even if I don't actually faint because I can't find the right spots, I was thinking I'd be fine with suffocating, which I wouldn't really like, to be honest. But then I think the "yes" factor would come into play. That would be awful. But I really like this method because if it works, you faint and never come back. I've been reading and rereading everything I've seen on the forums about this method.
Regarding the second method, hanging myself, I bought a 7m x 12mm rope (it's strong, I already tested it and it holds my weight). I'm 1.70m tall and weigh 50kg. I had thought about tying it to the chimney of the house (brick and cement structure) and climbing down the side (I can get onto the roof, which is walkable). From there to the ground it's about 3m. If I climb down, I would have a fall of approximately 1m to stop myself with the rope, ending up almost 2m from the ground. Including my body, I would be about 30 or 50cm from the ground. I think that would be enough. (I hope I break my neck, I don't know the ideal height for that, but it would be good). Since I'm a little afraid of jumping, I thought about hanging by my hands and when my arms can't hold anymore, letting go and I don't think there's any going back. In this case, I was thinking of having a couple of rum and Cokes (without getting drunk) and some diazepam and tranquilizers, oh, and a joint, hehe, last. What scares me a little is that I might be too close to the wall (it's smooth and there are no windows or anything to hold onto in that area). I don't know if that would be a problem. I'd have to do this method after 9 pm when it's darker and my neighbor can't see me. He's far away, and even if I yelled a little, I don't think he'd be able to hear me. What I like most about this method is that my neighbors would probably find me before my ex-wife, and if I pee or poop, I wouldn't care; I wouldn't leave a dead smell inside the house either.
I'm pretty sure I'll do it soon. I'd appreciate it if you let me know if there's anything that could go wrong that I haven't considered.
I haven't been here long, but I've loved finding this site and being able to talk to some of you. Thank you for your support. If you need anything or if there's anything I can do to help (even just by listening), please don't hesitate to contact me.
Sending you all a hug. I hope we all find peace in the most dignified way possible. Best of luck and stay strong.
I'm going crazy with the translator; I can't tell if what I wrote before is in English or Spanish. Could you please tell me what language it's written in? Thank you. Sorry.
(Please excuse my English, I'm using a translator).
What I am sure of is that I'm going to do it; what I'm not sure of is the method.
I'll tell you a little about my methods, because the reasons don't really matter; I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible. (I suppose like everyone else).
Let me explain the situation: I live alone in a villa in the countryside, 4 km from the city, with only two neighbors nearby. I have a swimming pool and a small plot of land.
A couple of months ago, I tried tying a plastic girlfriend around my neck, but it didn't have the desired effect. I wore it for an hour, passed out, and then regained consciousness. I wandered around the entire house: bedroom, kitchen, dining room. My eyes and lips were swollen, I couldn't see anything, but my trachea wasn't blocked, and I could breathe, albeit with difficulty. Finally, I thought this would never end, and somehow I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and cut my girlfriend, thinking that if I couldn't cut her, I'd cut a vein, but that didn't happen. I had to go to the doctor to get a medical certificate, and that's how it's been ever since. I went to a psychologist, and the psychiatrist prescribed fluoxetine, but after six weeks I received bad news, and my head exploded again with more desire than ever to end it all. But I told myself there had to be information online. And that's how I found SaSu.
I've chosen the nighttime method or hanging myself.
Regarding the nighttime method, I like it because I can do it at home on my favorite sofa. I have all the materials, and I've been testing it; it seems quite feasible. What I don't like about this method are several things. If it goes wrong and I just faint and don't actually die for whatever reason, I'd be really bummed out about peeing on my favorite sofa—it would be a real bummer (I love that sofa). Another thing I'm not too keen on is that if I do it right, I might run into my ex-wife, and I wouldn't want her to remember me like that. Anyway, whether it's this method or the other, I plan to wear a hat, a mask, and sunglasses. Even if I don't actually faint because I can't find the right spots, I was thinking I'd be fine with suffocating, which I wouldn't really like, to be honest. But then I think the "yes" factor would come into play. That would be awful. But I really like this method because if it works, you faint and never come back. I've been reading and rereading everything I've seen on the forums about this method.
Regarding the second method, hanging myself, I bought a 7m x 12mm rope (it's strong, I already tested it and it holds my weight). I'm 1.70m tall and weigh 50kg. I had thought about tying it to the chimney of the house (brick and cement structure) and climbing down the side (I can get onto the roof, which is walkable). From there to the ground it's about 3m. If I climb down, I would have a fall of approximately 1m to stop myself with the rope, ending up almost 2m from the ground. Including my body, I would be about 30 or 50cm from the ground. I think that would be enough. (I hope I break my neck, I don't know the ideal height for that, but it would be good). Since I'm a little afraid of jumping, I thought about hanging by my hands and when my arms can't hold anymore, letting go and I don't think there's any going back. In this case, I was thinking of having a couple of rum and Cokes (without getting drunk) and some diazepam and tranquilizers, oh, and a joint, hehe, last. What scares me a little is that I might be too close to the wall (it's smooth and there are no windows or anything to hold onto in that area). I don't know if that would be a problem. I'd have to do this method after 9 pm when it's darker and my neighbor can't see me. He's far away, and even if I yelled a little, I don't think he'd be able to hear me. What I like most about this method is that my neighbors would probably find me before my ex-wife, and if I pee or poop, I wouldn't care; I wouldn't leave a dead smell inside the house either.
I'm pretty sure I'll do it soon. I'd appreciate it if you let me know if there's anything that could go wrong that I haven't considered.
I haven't been here long, but I've loved finding this site and being able to talk to some of you. Thank you for your support. If you need anything or if there's anything I can do to help (even just by listening), please don't hesitate to contact me.
Sending you all a hug. I hope we all find peace in the most dignified way possible. Best of luck and stay strong.
I'm going crazy with the translator; I can't tell if what I wrote before is in English or Spanish. Could you please tell me what language it's written in? Thank you. Sorry.
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