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-FrozenRobot-

-FrozenRobot-

Let me go...please
Jul 27, 2021
220
I'm done waiting. My issues have gotten out of control a long time ago and now it's a stuggle to get out of bed everyday. I was planning on CTB'ing one year from now after I win my Bodybuilding competition but man, The psychological pain when it manifests physically...it's so hard to bear it. I've been trying my best for 3 years. But I couldn't make it. Yesterday when I confronted my dad about how he needed a person to take care of him and mom - and for that reason he didn't allow me to go to Canada to pursue my studies. You know what he said to my face?

"You're off your meds. Go pop em"

I felt like tearing him to pieces but I didn't want to give off any signs of attempting to KMS again so I just walked away. All that pain, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Oh i definitely would wish it on my parents though.

Earlier this year I ordered some SN. Then I felt something was off and I had an instinct that it's going to fail so I returned it. Now I'm placing the order again. i've planned it all out perfectly. i can get AE here, I can get SN, would I be needing anything else? Please let me know.

I'm going to our house in hometown, meet my best friend and his brother for one last time, say my good byes, get my final note in order and then take a swig from the glass of SN. We have tenents downstaids but I can lock the door and do it in the first floor.

Worst case scenario? The SN is underdosed and I will wake up again in the morning.

Then I'll have to make plans for my old method- Partial or Full suspension

Stay safe guys. I'll be reaching the golden gates in few weeks. I hope my late friends from SS will be there to welcome me.
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: not_actually_human, SVEN, rollingthunder and 11 others
dyn00ss

dyn00ss

Member
Mar 3, 2023
80
Hello, I'm sorry for your situation with your parents, and your tiredness I feel the same when mental fatigue makes you physical, and sad that the situations of life have brought you to the point of wanting CTB, but whatever your SN method or suspension I wish you the best, hugs <3
 
  • Like
Reactions: -FrozenRobot-
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
47,324
I wish you the best of luck with your plans and I hope that you find freedom from all the suffering.
 
  • Like
Reactions: -FrozenRobot-

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