Trying to plan suicide feels like shopping to me

[sorrycantsavemenow]

I'm buying something I need for my health. There's many sellers, options, variants, pros and cons, tradeoffs, compromises, doubtful results, costs, and time that needs to be spent maneuvering all that.

It feels similar with suicide, I guess I know I could do it if I really wanted to: a belt / piece of rope, a sturdy surface and hang myself. Teenagers have done it, celebrities have done it, I doubt they spent countless hours researching all the most exquisite resources and whatnot.

I guess what I'm saying is I'm building up the courage to do it. There will come a point in my journey when no more information will be needed to gather, only a decision based on the information I already have. I feel sick with how searching for a way to day has to be an after-work activity that feels like a chore. I guess it's no wonder this is the way I approach this, since I'm a gen z computer worker that often browses Instagram and Twitter in free time, to silence the thoughts.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that it certainly makes the hanging method sound so much easier than it actually is when you hear of all these people managing to succeed with it, and I envy the courage that they had. At least to me suicide really is something that is so difficult and complicated and that's why unfortunately I'm still here. I believe that it really should be easier for us to leave behind this life that we never even asked for.

 

[flower1985]

Yeah I agree it is like shopping i planned where to buy my rope, butane gas, propanalol loads of as stashing them, Stanley knife blades with lots of aspirin with alcohol to proper thin my blood is one for me. It's just I dont get past one or the other without my survival instinct kicking in. :( either sick or seizures or blood clotting on my cuts as i have a disorder which makes my blood clot quickly anyway :/

 

[theboy]

Good analogue