Top Reason why people want to CTB

[hercules0501]

Hi,

I wanted to know the top reason why people CTB. I keep reading vague responses from people that life is bad etc. Could someone who has been here or engaged with CTB type people on a normal basis give me the core reason why people CTB.

I'll start first:-

1. Nihilism I believe everything that we do is pointless. Existence and fighting the rat race is pointless in itself and I would like to opt out from this game world

2. APATHY. MANY people keep telling me to be happy. I'm happy and things are good. But I can't keep living and doing stuff everyday pretneding that I love being happy. I don't give a fuck about being happy or sad I just want to be gone from here. Period.

I don't see the world as negative or positive I see it as irrelevant.

Could others share their specific reasons why they would like to end it? Thanks

 

[thelostautistic]

I have a few reasons but my main one is I don't want to be autistic. It impacts me a lot more than people realise and growing up undiagnosed was very traumatising for me. I worry about my safety in the future after my parents die. I worry about being fully independent and I'm scared I'll become homeless. Part of me wants to live but not like this. I'm going to have to deal with being misunderstood, overstimulated and potentially bullied for the rest of my life. This world just feels too much for me and I can't handle it. I am trying to carry on but I think eventually I will end my life.

 

[rainrainrain]

Im a fuck up and don't deserve to be alive

 

[Forveleth]

I am tired of living and just want to be done with it.

 

[Nerned]

There is no other alternative, all roads are closed.

 

[LilGhost]

1) Pain. Both mental and physical
2) Disability. I can never fit in, fully feel like a human and i cant even afford mobility aids as example and ill never get better, there is no even fucking cure. Never for me to run through field of flowers. Never for me to feel the happiness of love
3) Scared to fail. Feel like id rather die then go back to my parents
4) Exams, college stress
5) friends betrayal
6) Almost no one (except one person) cares. If i die, I just wont be a financial burden
7) My parents wants me to come on summer break. My mother will be touching me despite me not wanting too... getting scared into being put to mental facility of my home country (she belives I belong there cause i hate physical contact), having to act like a perfect little toy to them and walk on eggshells again and having to visit my home country that makes me sick and my room that carries to much painful memories. Id be forced to do lots of shit that will make me throw up after
8) Gender dysphoria, not being able to get gender affirming care, constant misgendering.... (cant blame them I kinda look femine no matter how much i try but duuuudeee, you dont have to call me ma'am every five fucking seconds)
9) Politics. I fucking hate where world is going
10) lack of serotonin. My mind stop producing it normally since I was when i 12, i think
11) wanting some peace
12) I made a list of shit i hate and like and i hate much more shit then I like
Thats a brief answer. Also your 2nd reason is so real bud, do you have any hobbies you are passionate about? Finding that actually kinda helped me with apathy, idk if it would work same with ya

 

[stupid-reality]

Well nihilism is also true for me.
Also it feels more rational to kill myself while im still happy and kinda detached from evolutionary instincts. I'm going to die anyway. I want my death to be a beautiful one. I've seen so many people living miserable lives, suffering and wanting to die. Yet they still surviving because they are enslaved by their survival instincts. I don't want to be one of them. That's why I don't want to miss my chance while my mind is still sharp and my instincts are still under control.