Tonight Might Be The Night

[moggedtodeath]

I got into a car accident today and I was at fault for everything. Insurance will cover everything and I can easily get a lawyer to scrub the points off my record and just pay the fine or take some classes since it's my first offense and I'm a new driver. But honestly, I have this sinking feeling in my stomach that nothing is right. I have no car now and no way of getting to school for probably a while until the insurance claim clears up.
I can't even look at myself in the mirror, let alone my wrists because they remind me of how much of a failure I am. They're all bruised and scratched up.
I have everything I need to CTB. I've been involuntarily fasting as well, just my own body and I didn't plan this out. I have everything I need. I tested the SN i obtained and it is good to go. I have all the medications except benzodiazepines because I just couldn't get those. I just feel like I have no other choice and no way out. The letters have been sent. This is it for me. It's going to be the last failure I endure, that's for sure. If I decide to do it, I'll make another post detailing my method and saying my final goodbye. If not, well, I guess I changed my mind and thought it was worth it to keep going, but I highly highly doubt that. This was the worst day of my existence in my 24 years of being on this earth.

 

[kelimackie]

I'm sorry that happened to you, I hope you can decide on what's best for you and be at peace with your decision

 

[puella]

You're not a failure. You've been so strong to make it even this far. I care about you; I wish I could take away your pain.

 

[Huggs]

I wish I could give some words of comfort, but I myself plan to CTB five weeks from now…I'm very sorry for what you've experienced. The only thing I would say is you don't sound 100% certain. Maybe there are things that would keep you here? In the end it's your choice. This world is hellish for many people, sometimes people find ways to cope and go on, sometimes CTB is the only relief. I wish you the best in whatever you end up deciding.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be really dreadful being in that situation but anyway I wish you the best with your plans.