Today is the day - Goodbye thread

[Beyond_Repair]

I always feel such a strange sad feeling whenever I catch a post of someone who is actively ctbing. Just knowing you're out there preparing for death and feeling like this...it's such a mix of emotions. I hope you find peace, and I'm thinking of you. Just from this thread alone you sound like such a nice person. The world will be a lesser place when you're gone. We'll miss you <3

That's really kind of you to say, thank you :') I don't necessarily believe in an afterlife but I sometimes imagine an ideal scenario where everyone is chilling out together, no stress, no worries, laughing about how silly being alive was

If that's the case, I'll be chilling out hoping you guys are all doing okay

 

[nir]

That's really kind of you to say, thank you :') I don't necessarily believe in an afterlife but I sometimes imagine an ideal scenario where everyone is chilling out together, no stress, no worries, laughing about how silly being alive was

If that's the case, I'll be chilling out hoping you guys are all doing okay

"laughing about how silly being alive was" made me smile. Kinda reminds me of the lyrics "How strange it is to be anything at all" from Neutral Milk Hotel. Being alive really is such a weird thing. It would be fun to be able to look back on it and just laugh and laugh.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I'll go with 10. Better safe than sorry. Thanks for your suggestion :)

NP, normal Xanax is formulated as short acting vs other benzos taking a longer onset time.

Thank you everyone for the well-wishes It makes me feel so much less alone. I know I couldn't go through with finding someone else to CTB with, because of the risks involved, but it is truly scary to go alone. At least for me, haha. I wish it didn't have to be this way, hopefully one day it won't
I don't even know what I'm scared of. I'm not religious and I don't believe in an afterlife. I'm not scared of being dead.

I think I'm most scared of failing. And being alone

I know there's no real replacement for not being physically alone, but as much as you want to update, people will be here for you. <3

 

[Wolf Girl]

I'm sorry for what has brought you to this point and I wish you a peaceful ending.

 

[fatladysings]

I hope you ctb as peacefully as possible.

 

[BlackEyedDog]

i'm sorry life brought you here, this is so sad.
i wish u didn't have to be there by yourself.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I should have looked into this sooner, but realizing that omeprazole can take 1-4 days to be fully effective I would have started taking it a few days ago.... I took one around 4pm-ish

 

[Anon7b8]

Hope you get to where you need to be in this life or the next. Safe travels stranger. May it be as peaceful as you hope.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I just re-read the SN bible and it says PPI (like omeprazole) were found useless after research.. so I went out and bought some pepcid. Will take that instead

 

[kilowatt]

May your experience be peaceful and good luck

 

[AmberianDawn]

I hope you have a smooth trip, and benzos do their job well. I also suffer from SII...it is very annoying. Farewell

 

[franzkafka]

May you find peace! I'm sorry to hear that life put you in this position. I hope it will be peaceful, good luck <3

 

[Holu]

Thank you to everyone on this site who I had the pleasure of having discussions with and received advice from. Such a compassionate and empathetic group of people, I felt less alone getting to talk about things that you really can't anywhere else. I sincerely hope this site persists despite the pushback from the powers that be, as censorship is an insidious virus and should be fought for those who value freedom of thought and expression of ideas. Thank you to the developers and mods and others who help make this site possible.

My reasons: childhood trauma, the subsequent CPTSD and generally feeling as if I was not made for this world. Having experienced much of what I wanted to and having enough life experience and awareness of what potentially lies ahead to know that I am ready for it to end. I'm too sensitive, and cannot successfully function in the world as it is as a result. The world is full of pain and suffering and inequality, and I don't want any part of it. I believe that this is the path to true freedom from this prison for me.

I've revised my plan a bit as I had breakfast later than I planned. I started fasting at noon and plan to take SN at midnight so it should be a 12 hour fast (I don't tend to eat much so it shouldn't be a problem for me). I am also changing how I am taking the Xanax.


My method:

11am - breakfast

Noon - start fasting (12hrs)

10pm - stop water intake

11pm - 1000mg Tylenol + 2mg Xanax

11:20pm - 30mg meto

11:30pm - 2 pepcid

(In the mean time)

Prep SN drinks - 25g in ~ 100ml of water per drink

11:55pm - 8mg xanax + 400mg propranolol crushed and mixed in water

12am - drink SN


I will try to keep updated as the day progresses. After tonight, if you do not hear from me within a week, please cross out my name. I'm still open to comments/critiques about my regimen, if anyone has any suggestions

One note - I have IBS and some other digestive issues. People have said that SN is not an ideal method in these cases, but I am still going for it because it is my preferred method and the best option I have.

Ah, sorry to see you go. Hope it goes well, and without any problems. Enjoy peace for the rest of us, you've more than earned it.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Thanks everyone Just took the 2mg xanax a bit ago, didn't want to wait another hour

 

[Holu]

Thanks everyone Just took the 2mg xanax a bit ago, didn't want to wait another hour

Okie, again hope it goes well. Headpats and well wishes

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I hope you have a smooth trip, and benzos do their job well. I also suffer from SII...it is very annoying. Farewell

Thank you :) What is SII?

 

[notahappygirl]

Please keep us updated! Good luck

 

[sweetcreep]

wishing you the best, i hope things are peaceful for you.

 

[vinlander]

Thank you to everyone on this site who I had the pleasure of having discussions with and received advice from. Such a compassionate and empathetic group of people, I felt less alone getting to talk about things that you really can't anywhere else. I sincerely hope this site persists despite the pushback from the powers that be, as censorship is an insidious virus and should be fought for those who value freedom of thought and expression of ideas. Thank you to the developers and mods and others who help make this site possible.

My reasons: childhood trauma, the subsequent CPTSD and generally feeling as if I was not made for this world. Having experienced much of what I wanted to and having enough life experience and awareness of what potentially lies ahead to know that I am ready for it to end. I'm too sensitive, and cannot successfully function in the world as it is as a result. The world is full of pain and suffering and inequality, and I don't want any part of it. I believe that this is the path to true freedom from this prison for me.

I've revised my plan a bit as I had breakfast later than I planned. I started fasting at noon and plan to take SN at midnight so it should be a 12 hour fast (I don't tend to eat much so it shouldn't be a problem for me). I am also changing how I am taking the Xanax.


My method:

11am - breakfast

Noon - start fasting (12hrs)

10pm - stop water intake

11pm - 1000mg Tylenol + 2mg Xanax

11:20pm - 30mg meto

11:30pm - 2 pepcid

(In the mean time)

Prep SN drinks - 25g in ~ 100ml of water per drink

11:55pm - 8mg xanax + 400mg propranolol crushed and mixed in water

12am - drink SN


I will try to keep updated as the day progresses. After tonight, if you do not hear from me within a week, please cross out my name. I'm still open to comments/critiques about my regimen, if anyone has any suggestions

One note - I have IBS and some other digestive issues. People have said that SN is not an ideal method in these cases, but I am still going for it because it is my preferred method and the best option I have.

i may be a bit late but i still wish you the best, please rest well, you deserve it

 

[maniac116]

I hope you feel no more pain.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

i may be a bit late but i still wish you the best, please rest well, you deserve it

Thank you :) And not late at all.. still have a little over an hour until SN

 

[feelinggloomy]

Peace to you

 

[CantDoIt]

I hope that whatever you get is exactly what you've been waiting for!

 

[Beyond_Repair]

i'm sorry life brought you here, this is so sad.
i wish u didn't have to be there by yourself.

Please don't be sad, I'm happy that I'm going to be free soon. I appreciate your concern Having you guys has made it 1000% easier. The xanax doesn't hurt either lmao
Just took the meto and pepcid

 

[Bear1234]

You're coming to your end, hope you know you aren't alone. Sending so much love and peace

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Does this seem like a normal amount of SN? Seems like a lot but says 25g
Just took SN

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Tasted horrid but not unbearable

 

[maniac116]

I hope you never experience any pain again, only elusive peace

 

[Themogger]

Tasted horrid but not unbearable

You got gum?

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Nausea is bad