To be remembered or forgotten?

[Ben]

I'm curious, do you want to be remembered by anybody after you KTB?

Or would you prefer to just be deleted from everyone's memory and have those in your life carry on as if you never existed?

 

[throwaway123]

I prefer to be forgotten and deleted from everyone's memory.

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

Be remembered for the times when I was healthy and erase everything thereafter. most importantly erase my cause of death,

 

[Miss clefable]

I would like to be remembered just by a few not everyone

 

[Ben]

Be remembered for the times when I was healthy and erase everything thereafter. most importantly erase my cause of death,

Yes, another reason isolation is necessary to me. I don't want anybody to have any memories of seeing me when I'm truly lost.

 

[Maravillosa]

Oh, I want millions of people living centuries from now to admire me and see me as a role model. Of course, I have delusions of grandeur

 

[Ben]

I would like to be remembered just by a few not everyone

I do wonder who would come to my funeral...

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

Yes, another reason isolation is necessary to me. I don't want anybody to have any memories of seeing me when I'm truly lost.

That's a wise choice. Apart from going to work, I have isolated myself for the last 3 months. Now, I have quit work altogether this week. It's total isolation.

 

[Ben]

Oh, I want millions of people living centuries from now to admire me and see me as a role model. Of course, I have delusions of grandeur

What a gem.

I have music out there, so my words will live on far longer then I ever could...who knows maybe my beginner level music will blow up after I die lol. At one point I craved money and fame... I don't care for it anymore

 

[Desperate_Soul]

This question is why I sometimes wonder if the memorials made on this site would be appreciated by the people who CTB'd. I know I wouldn't appreciate it, but that might just be me.

 

[Ben]

That's a wise choice. Apart from going to work, I have isolated myself for the last 3 months. Now, I have quit work altogether this week. It's total isolation.

It was alarming easy to me to be content with not having friends in my life anymore

 

[IfHeDiesHeDies]

It was alarming easy to me to be content with not having friends in my life anymore

Yes, at least for now, I am totally comfortable with this isolation. I don't feel human when I am with others, may be it's because I know I will CTB soon, I have nothing happy to share which is not a lie.

 

[Ben]

This question is why I sometimes wonder if the memorials made on this site would be appreciated by the people who CTB'd. I know I wouldn't appreciate it, but that might just be me.

I read what you said about me after my attempt. It made me tear up. Thank you so much for those words.

 

[Maravillosa]

What a gem.

I have music out there, so my words will live on far longer then I ever could...who knows maybe my beginner level music will blow up after I die lol. At one point I craved money and fame... I don't care for it anymore

I must not ctb before I successfully publish at least one novel. I don't think I could handle fame while still alive (I think that the case of Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone with the Wind, is similar to how I would react to fame: never write another novel, spend a lot of time answering fan mail, do a lot of volunteer work), but posthumous fame and my being able to see from Heaven that I am famous are my ambitions

 

[Ben]

I don't want people to remember me. Im dead and gone, it will only just slow their lives down thinking why I ctb.

I can't argue that the pain would be a burden

 

[Ben]

Yes, at least for now, I am totally comfortable with this isolation. I don't feel human when I am with others, may be it's because I know I will CTB soon, I have nothing happy to share which is not a lie.

Yes I definitely have to wear a mask when confronted with any real life interactions. I'm not in any state anymore to start to developing or rekindling any friendships

 

[weedoge]

No way, everyone forget. Everyone forgets eventually, I don't mind being remembered it's the levels of almost posthumous stalking that worries me.

 

[Ben]

I must not ctb before I successfully publish at least one novel. I don't think I could handle fame while still alive (I think that the case of Margaret Mitchell, author of Gone with the Wind, is similar to how I would react to fame: never write another novel, spend a lot of time answering fan mail, do a lot of volunteer work), but posthumous fame and my being able to see from Heaven that I am famous are my ambitions

I'm seriously proud of you, and I hope you competle your goals!

(I've read some of her writing, Maravillosa has a gift for it)

 

[Ben]

No way, everyone forget. Everyone forgets eventually, I don't mind being remembered it's the levels of almost posthumous stalking that worries me.

Yea like be It a family member or a friend, you wouldn't mind if they reflected on a positive memory of you, and held onto that memory after you are gone? Or you would prefer they erase the good with the bad and never think of you again?

 

[couldntthinkofaname]

99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of people will be forgotten after 2 generations anyways

 

[Desperate_Soul]

I'm seriously proud of you, and I hope you competle your goals!

(I've read some of her writing, Maravillosa has a gift for it)

I always feel foolish while playing the 5 word game over on the offtopic side of the forum with Maravillosa because her 5 words are so much better than mine. Every time I play I think my 5 words are dumb, but @Maravillosa easily works with it every single time. She really does have a gift. She can make my silly words turn into a masterpiece!

 

[Ben]

99.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999% of people will be forgotten after 2 generations anyways

A bit of an exaggeration... but we are amongst the silent here, so it might be a fair assessment given the population here lol

 

[weedoge]

Yea like be It a family member or a friend, you wouldn't mind if they reflected on a positive memory of you, and held onto that memory after you are gone? Or you would prefer they erase the good with the bad and never think of you again?

Oh well I didn't mean my family, I don't really have much choice what they'll thubj or feel so I prefer to not worry about it as much as possible.

 

[Ben]

I always feel foolish while playing the 5 word game over on the offtopic side of the forum with Maravillosa because her 5 words are so much better than mine. Every time I play I think my 5 words are dumb, but Maravillosa easily works with it every single time. She really does have a gift. She can make my silly words turn into a masterpiece!

Haha we have to get her in a Cards Agaisnt Humanity game

 

[Ben]

Oh well I didn't mean my family, I don't really have much choice what they'll thubj or feel so I prefer to not worry about it as much as possible.

That's totally fair. I don't mean to press.

 

[Nofaith]

To be honest, I couldn't be bothered either way. I'm dead and gone.

 

[Sayo]

Ideally I'd be remembered by everyone forever and admired. Since the people who will remember me will remember me with sadness or wonder what went wrong, I'd prefer to be forgotten, as part of my dissatisfaction with myself is that I feel that I failed to be what I should have been, never will be what I should have been, and have no desire to anyway. Even I indulge my narcissism I'm deeply unhappy. I think my memory will also make my family unhappy, unless they choose to forget who I actually was.

I published and went to writer's festivals when I was young, withdrew immediately, stopped writing for a while, and have spent my life punishing myself for throwing away both a career and not writing every minute (actual artistic impetus that stresses me out for personal reasons). So those who will remember me will remember me as a successful child and an unhappy adult. It sucks, I feel rather displaced and grotesque.

 

[Deleted_9cKnXB34QG]

There's nothing remember to be honest.
After my mom dies it will be like I never existed, there will be no one who would really remember me. Which is a good thing.

 

[weedoge]

Ideally I'd be remembered by everyone forever and admired. Since the people who will remember me will remember me with sadness or wonder what went wrong, I'd prefer to be forgotten, as part of my dissatisfaction with myself is that I feel that I failed to be what I should have been, never will be what I should have been, and have no desire to anyway. Even I indulge my narcissism I'm deeply unhappy. I think my memory will also make my family unhappy, unless they choose to forget who I actually was.

I published and went to writer's festivals when I was young, withdrew immediately, stopped writing for a while, and have spent my life punishing myself for throwing away both a career and not writing every minute (actual artistic impetus that stresses me out for personal reasons). So those who will remember me will remember me as a successful child and an unhappy adult. It sucks, I feel rather displaced and grotesque.

I get this. I'd like people to remember the good parts of my or remember and appreciate the literal thoughts and intentions that ran within me. I'd want people to remember a me that isn't truly me, so instead I'd like them to forget..

 

[Sayo]

I get this. I'd like people to remember the good parts of my or remember and appreciate the literal thoughts and intentions that ran within me. I'd want people to remember a me that isn't truly me, so instead I'd like them to forget..

This is so real and the thought is so beautiful. Me too. Language and even action are so elliptical.