To be remembered or forgotten?

[Mugara]

I do want one particular person to remember me. He followed me through rough times just to leave me when I needed him most.
Last time we met he told me he will report me right away if I ever tell him about my decision again.
It's not why I cbt though, but I really wish for him to be haunted by me.

 

[weedoge]

This is so real and the thought is so beautiful. Me too. Language and even action are so elliptical.

Not to sound cheesy but it's a rough morning and you made me tear up, thank you.

 

[Sayo]

Not to sound cheesy but it's a rough morning and you made me tear up, thank you.

<3 I feel that too, being able to connect over a shared thought has meant a lot to me today.

 

[worldexploder]

I just want to go...don't care if I'm remembered or forgotten. What's the point of being remembered if you're too dead to know the difference.

 

[weedoge]

I just want to go...don't care if I'm remembered or forgotten. What's the point of being remembered if you're too dead to know the difference.

Good point, just like I was saying in a roundabout way my reason for writing a note is just for myself. I need to feel that I've done my best to lessen the blow for my family but once I've done that and left then its not my concern anymore.

 

[MEoDP]

Completely 100% forgotten,but I know that's not going to be the case. Reality is cruel like that. (If it weren't,we wouldn't be here)

 

[raskolnikov]

When we will be dead, we won't have anything to do anymore with our former being. It just won't be our affair.

 

[weedoge]

When we will be dead, we won't have anything to do anymore with our former being. It just won't be our affair.

Its true but in the same way I hope people aren't talking about me behind my back, I can still have a living wish for people to treat my dead self in a certain way. Its up to others to decide if they respect that.

 

[WastedPotential]

Hi!!!!! Did you know that in just fifteen minutes my little big boy turns 31?
I was waiting for this time the whole day! Today I look back and think how time flies, right?

Congratulations son!
I want you to fulfill all your dreams and to be happier each year, even if so far away from me, I would really like to give you a very warm hug, but I can't, so consider yourself hugged!
Happy Birthday!!!!
And all the best!
​

The only reason why I didn't kill myself earlier is that I know very well that it will destroy my mother's life. How I wish I could erase myself from her memory... She never had any idea of how crazy my life was, she thinks everything is OK, actually she thinks I am very happy with my life... The worst thing about my suicide is having to deal with this. Buying Sodium Nitrite, planning how, when... and then getting a message like this makes me feel extremely terrible... I'm gonna ruin her life.

 

[BjartNO]

I prefer to be forgotten and deleted from everyone's memory.

This is what I want to want, but im not sure it's true

 

[Caustic Cardinals]

If I were to be remembered it would probably be as the poster child for slipping throu The craks.

 

[weedoge]

This is what I want to want, but im not sure it's true

Good post

 

[Shay]

Remembered. Before 4 mo ago when a doctor destroyed my life I created so much impact in the world fighting for women's rights. I had a great family and great friends and a great career. It was all stolen. I hope people remember me for what I contributed before a few months ago

 

[skitliv]

Forgotten all the way

 

[Slayer]

Forgotten.

 

[St.Jimmy]

No one remembered me in life so I'm pretty sure I'll be easy to forget once I'm dead

 

[SomeGuyDK]

Could procreate if I really wanted to, and have my name being a little less remembered year after year until it doesn't even constitute a single brain cell in any sentient being anymore. I don't see the point, I am kind of glad my ego isn't big enough to care about being remembered.

 

[bigj75]

I don't give a single fuck as long as my suffering ends.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I'm not sure. I would love to be forgotten because people would probably remember me as a trans person, considering I'm still not passing as a woman and still at the start of my transition process. I want people to remember me as a woman, which is the reason why I decided to delete my facebook profile. I would love to have all evidence of me ever existing to be gone. But I've changed my mind recently. As I said in another thread, I want to use my suicide to shred some light into the situation of trans people. I want people to know that our suffer needs to get addressed a lot more in society. There is a reason the suicide rate among trans people is 41% and it has a lot to do with social issues such as discrimination, bullying and intolerance in the family. A goodbye note next to my body wouldn't be enough, maybe it's gonna get ignored completely. I'm also gonna post a public goodbye note on my facebook profile when I'm about to ctb, which will contain a quick explanation of my situation. I will link my profile in this forum shortly after I've taken my N, which will also serve as confirmation for my death. That profile exists for more than 5 years. If there is no activity after my goodbye note, it means I'm finally at peace.

 

[Ben]

I'm not sure. I would love to be forgotten because people would probably remember me as a trans person, considering I'm still not passing as a woman and still at the start of my transition process. I want people to remember me as a woman, which is the reason why I decided to delete my facebook profile. I would love to have all evidence of me ever existing to be gone. But I've changed my mind recently. As I said in another thread, I want to use my suicide to shred some light into the situation of trans people. I want people to know that our suffer needs to get addressed a lot more in society. There is a reason the suicide rate among trans people is 41% and it has a lot to do with social issues such as discrimination, bullying and intolerance in the family. A goodbye note next to my body wouldn't be enough, maybe it's gonna get ignored completely. I'm also gonna post a public goodbye note on my facebook profile when I'm about to ctb, which will contain a quick explanation of my situation. I will link my profile in this forum shortly after I've taken my N, which will also serve as confirmation for my death. That profile exists for more than 5 years. If there is no activity after my goodbye note, it means I'm finally at peace.

Have you thought about what you want to say in your goodbye post?

 

[itsallover]

Only your closest family will really remember you. Even they will move on. Circle of life = circle of shit.

 

[Nightmare]

sometimes i say yes... to realize how much they hurt someone as lovely and caring as myself especially those who denied it and even accused me of being horrible person
sometimes i say no because i don't want any more suffering because this life is already sad enough
but what will actually happen is that these ones and especially my love already made me the worst person to exist in their minds so they wont give a fuck

 

[Ben]

Only your closest family will really remember you. Even they will move on. Circle of life = circle of shit.

They may move on, but forgetting somebody is another thing. It's clear many people wish to be completely forgotten...but I unfortunately don't believe it's very easy to be forgotten by those in your life.

 

[Ben]

sometimes i say yes... to realize how much they hurt someone as lovely and caring as myself especially those who denied it and even accused me of being horrible person
sometimes i say no because i don't want any more suffering because this life is already sad enough
but what will actually happen is that these ones and especially my love already made me the worst person to exist in their minds so they wont give a fuck

People can easily change their opinions of somebody after they pass, if that means anything to you

 

[RainAndSadness]

Have you thought about what you want to say in your goodbye post?

I'm not sure yet. I started with my note already but I'm a bit uncertain about the content of that letter. I'll let people know that I'm about to ctb and I'll probably elaborate about my story that lead to this final moment. I'm probably gonna describe my struggles of being transgender and how difficult it was for me to stand up for myself. I felt very unwelcome in society. I feel like an alien. Many people simply don't unterstand what it means to be transgender and think it's some kind of desease that needs to get cured, that doesn't deserve any tolerance or respect. Which simpy makes the situation of my people worse. We already feel guilty enough, we don't need society to push us down even further. I'm also gonna talk about the unfair treatement from the medical community, they put so many hurdles into our path, it's really frustrating. My girlfriend who is also trans is currently talking to a psychiatrist and it's even worse for her than it was for me. He wants to know her for one whole year until he gives out the diagnosis "trans". That means she can't start her HRT before 2019. She knows about her trans identity for over 6 months now. it's insane. The whole process should be a lot more efficient and quicker. People should stop doubting us. We know who we are. I know who I am. I'll try to put it in an educational, informative way. I'm not trying to put the finger on anyone. But things need to change. And finally, I'm probably gonna thank all the people that were there for me, that made it possible for me to survive so many years. I guess that's it.

 

[Trashcan]

I'll be dead so it won't really matter, but it would be nice to just be forgotten.

 

[CRM]

Everyone is forgotten eventually. Nobody will benefit from remembering me except for my dead ego, so forgotten.

 

[Ben]

I'm not sure yet. I started with my note already but I'm a bit uncertain about the content of that letter. I'll let people know that I'm about to ctb and I'll probably elaborate about my story that lead to this final moment. I'm probably gonna describe my struggles of being transgender and how difficult it was for me to stand up for myself. I felt very unwelcome in society. I feel like an alien. Many people simply don't unterstand what it means to be transgender and think it's some kind of desease that needs to get cured, that doesn't deserve any tolerance or respect. Which simpy makes the situation of my people worse. We already feel guilty enough, we don't need society to push us down even further. I'm also gonna talk about the unfair treatement from the medical community, they put so many hurdles into our path, it's really frustrating. My girlfriend who is also trans is currently talking to a psychiatrist and it's even worse for her than it was for me. He wants to know her for one whole year until he gives out the diagnosis "trans". That means she can't start her HRT before 2019. She knows about her trans identity for over 6 months now. it's insane. The whole process should be a lot more efficient and quicker. People should stop doubting us. We know who we are. I know who I am. I'll try to put it in an educational, informative way. I'm not trying to put the finger on anyone. But things need to change. And finally, I'm probably gonna thank all the people that were there for me, that made it possible for me to survive so many years. I guess that's it.

Sounds like it will be powerful! Thank you for sharing

 

[Ben]

Everyone is forgotten eventually. Nobody will benefit from remembering me except for my dead ego, so forgotten.

I don't mean live on forever, I just mean be remembered by the people in your life, but I understand what you're saying

 

[PatKat]

I have isolated enough to when I leave noone will remember me except a few. I say they will forget in two weeks.