Venting Tired and angry

[SplitInfrastructure]

I dont wanna have to feel like this anymore, if I knew how its gonna be going Id never take any therapy, at first it was just nothing I lost a sense of myself and my feelings, now Im on different medication and Ive been regaining it and working for it but most of this shit just ends me up on a chopping block I dont wanna care again I just want to feel numb and all Ive got left is a blood choke and a bloodstained knife why are some people such hypocrits why do I have to keep myself from cutting for them but they will do it and tell me about it every time why again when I get a sense of myself back I retract right back because this happens I just wanna bang my head against a wall
Im going down memories I dont want to have I just want to kill myself its so hot but Im still shivering cold

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Sorry you have to go through this. It's hard to ignore people. I'm on a med.... Still doesn't make me want to live.
Life is shitty and I want out.

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

I wanna cut my face

Sorry you have to go through this. It's hard to ignore people. I'm on a med.... Still doesn't make me want to live.
Life is shitty and I want out.

Meds arent always supposed to make you wsnt to live and thats sad, it just feels like an ellaborate scam with a russian roulette of just getting a good therapist, meds are for stabilizing mood, therapists are supposed to help. the last one I had I saw once and I skipped the other visit because that mf was awful, laughing at bad moments and asking me several questions before saying that I cant be anorexic because Im not skinny enough

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I wanna cut my face

Meds arent always supposed to make you wsnt to live and thats sad, it just feels like an ellaborate scam with a russian roulette of just getting a good therapist, meds are for stabilizing mood, therapists are supposed to help. the last one I had I saw once and I skipped the other visit because that mf was awful, laughing at bad moments and asking me several questions before saying that I cant be anorexic because Im not skinny enough

I don't think my life would be better even if I didn't have depression. The struggle to survive takes all the energy I have left.

I wanna cut my face

Meds arent always supposed to make you wsnt to live and thats sad, it just feels like an ellaborate scam with a russian roulette of just getting a good therapist, meds are for stabilizing mood, therapists are supposed to help. the last one I had I saw once and I skipped the other visit because that mf was awful, laughing at bad moments and asking me several questions before saying that I cant be anorexic because Im not skinny enough

I missed the part about wanting to cut your face. I've had the desire to cut before. Maybe to feel something.
I have hit myself in the face and head.

 

[SplitInfrastructure]

I don't think my life would be better even if I didn't have depression. The struggle to survive takes all the energy I have left.

I missed the part about wanting to cut your face. I've had the desire to cut before. Maybe to feel something.
I have hit myself in the face and head.

Ive been having a weird constant thought of cutting off my eye, I dont know why but its been following me for over a year at this point, cutting the face comes paired with that
I sometimes wonder why thoughts like this come and stay

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Ive been having a weird constant thought of cutting off my eye, I dont know why but its been following me for over a year at this point, cutting the face comes paired with that
I sometimes wonder why thoughts like this come and stay

I hope you don't do this. I understand the desire to self harm. I don't think I could do that.
I would still punch myself in the face before that. The bruises will heal.