Things That Should Be Tried Prior to Considering a Suicide Attempt

[GuppyBoyo]

That only applies to people who want to do it because they're dissatisfied with their life
some us want to do it for its own sake

i'll still try to do it even if my life was better, i try my best to maintain my goal of CTB

 

[needthebus]

I feel like a life coach would be the most useful to me, but any that I can find are oddly spiritual and don't really target people with depression.

Fiverr?

 

[cr33p]

In my case, a lot of the things you mentioned are just genuinely out of reach.
I would love to have 3 jobs but I can't even find one job and I've been looking for over a year. No one will hire me, I've had such shit luck. I have a partner that is tired of me, but we're stuck together and have a child. I feel guilt and shame every single day. I know where I'm at is due to my horrible childhood followed by extremely poor life choices made from low self esteem. I've hit a dead end in my life, and really don't see any way out. I've tried a lot of the things you said, but I am trapped in my life and my situation and I don't see it changing anytime soon. It's only gotten worse the last few years. I'm 27 and when my brain became more mature I realized most of my life was a giant mistake and tried but eventually realized that there's no coming back from it. I've tried medication, but medication cant change my situation. I'm in so much debt from letting him use my credit cards to live off of, and can't do anything to help it. I'm drowning and can't get independence or financial freedom, or even a proper life for my child. I do feel if my situation was different I wouldn't feel like there's no hope, but I've been trying to so long and this hole I've dug is way too deep. It genuinely feels like being in the bottom of a massive pit and no way out. I can't save myself and no one is coming to save me. I wish I could afford a life coach. Therapy hardly helps, and my partner offers zero emotional support. In fact I've learned to not confide in him as it always makes things worse. I know my child deserves better. And if I ctb I think she would have a shot at a much better life. We aren't married so I can take a lot of the debt out with me when I go. And I believe he would eventually move on and find a new mom for her that did her life right and didn't suffer from emotional abuse and neglect, along with severe mental health disorders. She deserves better than this.

 

[rs929]

The guy has a point regarding waiting depression to resolve in 6-12 months. It seems most depressive episodes (though not all) resolve on its own, even with no treatment. In that case the "permanent solution for a temporary problem" would be kind of spot on.
Not saying that there are no cases of treatment resistant chronic depression though

 

[RadiantNumber]

I think if some

I understand your perspective completely.

Since you are 19, and a SaSu member, I hope you at least wait until over 21 out of compassion for other SaSu users because 18-21 is still in that young person age range that will tend to bring negative attention to the website. Even if you have a valid philosophical view, suicide is extremely frowned upon in society and waiting until at least over 21 helps protect the site.

Have you tried a life coach? Have you done everything or anything on this list? Sorry you are here, I believe I've read your posts before and have liked them. I get what you are saying that people should be able to make personal choices.



you're right: i'll edit it to say talk with a doctor about taking instead

i edited this @ForgottenAgain . I suppose when I said "try" before the "talk with a doctor" part was something I figured would be naturally implied, but you're right that it should be specifically listed

Again, this is not to encourage people to attempt if they do these things. This post is primarily because sometimes I see people who are in the 18-25 range on here and I worry they may be considering attempting or attempting when they have situations that either could improve or would improve and they haven't really tried enough to get better.

Sometimes the first time I am seeing an 18-25 year old person or knowing how young they are is when they are posting about attempting. At that point, I often don't have time to go "Uh oh, looks like you are only 20. Have you tried working? Jogging? Dating? Pills? A Life coach? At least for people who will be left behind if not you?" I realize at 19 or 20, people are not stupid and if they are here, they are in immense pain. When I was 19, I was also suicidal and in immense pain I wasn't stupid and my thinking wasn't arbitrary. It's likely most 18-21 year old people or people in 18-25 range have put in a lot of thought before being here. But I also worry about people who haven't. I worry about people who are in school, sad, and haven't even worked at all to be independent and perhaps that would be the thing that makes things okay. I worry about lonely people who haven't found love and perhaps that life coach would help them to become more connected, or find someone. I am not worried about the 30-something who has worked, tried therapy, tried everything and is making a decision over a period of years. I'm not a pro-lifer. This site doesn't encourage anyone, has resources, but I wanted to write something because often when that young person who is 19 posts, they have a post count of 20 and I've never seen them before and I worry if they have tried to get better

I think if somebody want to do this he would do it, if he want to recover he would help mental help or smth

 

[LetMeSeeTheSun]

Hi, just wanted to say that i appreciate your post as someone who feels suicidal but has to fight against thoses urges as i've family members to support, have a nice day.

 

[Stan Swiftie]

This is not a recovery post. This is a list of things that I think people should do or try prior to even considering an attempt. This does not apply to people who are in chronic pain due to a severe incurable illness (such as slow painful cancer, the end stages of Huntington's disease, or extreme disabilities that result in severe pain that will never improve). I am posting this in the Suicide subforum because I hope people considering an attempt read this and if they haven't done stuff suggested here that they try it prior to considering an attempt. This is not about recovery, this is about being responsible: an attempt is serious and it leaves other people (friends and family) devastated and so before even considering an attempt, you should be trying to do things to get better if you can:

1. If you are 18-21, you should wait beyond this period because brains change so much during this time.

2. Many people get depressed due to loneliness and not having sexual needs and companionship needs me. Therefore, you should at least try:

A. Putting up dating profiles on at least 4 dating websites for at least 6-12 months to see if you can meet someone.
B. Jogging every day for at least two weeks to see if there is any anti-depression impact
C. Working out 3x a week to improve your appearance
D. Getting a life coach to help you with this process, working with a life coach for at least 3 months

I really believe that when people are sad, the typical societal response is "drug them with big pharma drugs" and "have them talk about feelings in therapy." I don't think this is very effective for many people, especially people who aren't having sexual needs met. The typical societal response emphasizes introspection and being drugged instead of making specific changes in life to try to feel better. For someone extremely depressed, they also often have problems making decisions or doing things, which is why every depressed person would probably actually do better with a life coach who tells them specific things they need to do and try, rather than just being drugged and talking about their feelings for extremely high fees.

3. Many people, including young people, are unhappy due to a lack of independence and unhappy due to not feeling empowered by self-sufficiency, so before considering an attempt you should try:
A. At least 3 different jobs in different work sectors to see if having a job you like and making money makes life better.
B. Working each job for at least 3 months.
C. Having a job and making enough money to not live with your family for at least 6 months in case a lack of independence is making your depression worse.

If you have done all of these things so far, and have also tried dating while working (and work makes you more desirable to others sometimes) and you've tried to become more desirable to partners and dating and have tried working and you're 22 and are still depressed, then it's important to try other things too before considering an attempt.

4. Before considering an attempt, people should at least try medication and therapy, although from what I've seen on SaSu, most people here have already tried medication and therapy:
A. Talk with a doctor about trying at least 2 kinds of antidepressants for at least 3 months each.
B. Talk with a doctor about trying at least 1 mood stabilizer like lithium for at least a month in case you're actually bipolar
C. Talk with a doctor about trying an atypical anti-psychotic for at least 1 month in case you are in the early stages of another disorder
D. Try at least 2 psychiatrists if not feeling better when working with the first
E. Try at least 3 therapy sessions to see if there's any improvement.

If you have done all of these things, you've really given traditional mental health therapy treatments a significant try. If you haven't done literally all of these things, you probably haven't tried hard enough and shouldn't even consider attempting.

5. Before considering an attempt, people should at least try volunteering in 1 community organization at least 4 hours a week for 3 months

The reason for this is that a lot of times people who want to die feel their lives are meaningless and are lonely and don't feel connected to people. If you haven't tried volunteering somewhere, you should do this before considering an attempt.

6. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should check to make sure there isn't some lifestyle or diet factor making you feel worse. You should try:
A. Allergen test
B. Try a gluten-free diet for at least 2 weeks
C. Try a Keto diet for at least 2 weeks
D. Try a vegan diet for at least 2 weeks

7. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should get lab work done and talk to a primary care doctor to see if there's anything medically wrong that could be making you feel worse:
A. Get lab work done
B. Rule out vitamin deficiencies

8. Before considering a suicide attempt, you should at least wait 6 months to 1 year to see if your depression naturally resolves on it's own.

Before even considering a suicide attempt, I hope you try all of these things. This does not mean that if you've tried all these things then it's fine to attempt or you should consider attempting; instead it means that if you haven't tried all of these things and don't have a chronic painful medical condition that can't be treated or an end-stage illness, then your depression or life circumstances may improve dramatically yet and you really shouldn't be considering something as drastic as ending your life. This list would take about 1-2 years to do everything on if you are over 21. If economics/costs are a factor, I really hope that before considering an attempt you prioritize hiring a life coach because, unlike most mental health professionals who don't tell you what to do during a time in which it's hard to make decisions, life coaches will tell you specific things they want you to try and do.

If you are 18-21, you are too young to attempt suicide. It's a permanent decision and things could change, your brain can change, 18-21 is a hard time for many, many people. Also, please think of other people on SaSu: when younger people on SaSu die, it makes SaSu look bad and it's unfair to put the site at risk. Please try to wait until you're over 21 to protect the site.

No one under 18 should be here or reading this. Anyone being under 18 and on SaSu means they've lied to gain access and it's terribly unfair to everyone else who wants to use this site as it puts the site at risk.

To anyone reading this, sorry you are here and reading this and I hope you eventually end up happy somehow and end up never coming back to this site, and end up having a meaningful life and/or being blissfully in love with someone you care about.

I appreciate this... for others
I'm 50, so it's too late for me
But good on you for this. Seriously!

 

[monolog]

TL DR

 

[EmptyBottle]

> The reason for this is that a lot of times people who want to die feel their lives are meaningless and are lonely and don't feel connected to people. If you haven't tried volunteering somewhere, you should do this before considering an attempt.
Even having a pet can give one a reason to live, the pet needs the owner to take care of it, and provides affection.

> B. Working each job for at least 3 months.
3 months is a long time, and depends on the type of job. If the job ends up making things worse, trying a different one faster can help (and if that job isn't like that, trying to stick with it for many days or weeks is good... one day at a time is the saying)

Point 7 about vitamin deficiencies (and maybe rare disorders) is often overlooked imo

 

[Seered Doom]

24 here, already accepted there's no hope, even while in therapy and having dx's for several mental issues. Am unable to have full time job due to disability being recognized legally. Under guardianship of parents who are just ugh. The OP just felt like an f you in own opinion, but regardless of any part of it being even slightly accurate, dating profiles and life coaches are some of the worst advices have seen in long time. Been suicidal since 14, so wowee, this is something else.

 

[imOK]

I'm 42 and have been in treatment for schizoid personality disorder and depression for the last ~24 years, longer than some people reading this might've been alive. What I remember the most from my younger years is everything being a lot more suffocating and distressing. I had no experience, didn't really get how the world works and was profoundly afraid of how bad things could possibly get. I got a lot of help but also nobody really cared all that much. It's not even cruel and evil of them to not care, it's just how it is. I don't care about a lot of other people either. There's no such thing as unconditional love and if there would be, it'd be profoundly unhealthy. But there's always a first time for every experience and I had my share. I'm certified treatment resistant and disabled. That's as much recognition as my state can possibly get by society. It doesn't really help all that much and if I don't hide my condition, I usually quickly become the target of abuse. I can tell you from experience that a lot of people get off to be confronted with somebody who is in a worse position than they are in. I learned to be very careful.

It sounds weird but you do kinda get used to things. I'm pretty much my username. I'm ok. I'm not overtly depressed, upset, or worried anymore. These things just kinda went away with the years. Objectively, my life only got worse but not dramatically so. It could always be worse.

I had two cats I dearly cared about and doted on and the last one died a month ago of old age, pretty much. It was a super sudden and pretty traumatizing death. It has reminded me of something I've forgotten (or rather successfully distracted myself of) a little in recent years, that everything has to end some day and that nothing will be there forever. The impernance of all.

There's a few very real problems I have. None of them completely unsolvable and none of them really all that painful to overcome. I just don't want to anymore. I'm just a bit tired and I don't see the point. I simply feel like I've ran my course, if that makes sense? I'm not angry or sad. Not at all. I just feel my life as it will most likely become in coming years is not really a life that's worth living for me anymore. I want to quit while I'm ahead. Better a day too early than a day too late, and all lthat.

I also see a lot of anger, irrationality, instability and unhealthy yearning for attention in a lot of the posts in this forum to be quite honest, and in some cases I'd even agree and say that person is probably not of sound enough mind to make such a decision, so I understand the OP completely. The question really is, where to draw the line? At what point is ctb a poor decision, a wrong conclusion? I don't know and I think barely anyone does and that's why it's so stigmatized for the mentally ill, even completely disregarding the pure abuse potential of instiutionalized suicide aid potentally being abusable to get rid of "unwanted" people, a potential that IMO is clearly there.

I find it incredibly hard to judge for other people what their life is like and what's good or what's bad for them. Some people would say I shouldn't be too upset about my cat and just get a new one. In their world, that might make perfect sense and wouldn't even come from a place of cruelty I don't think.

Does it really all matter that much though? As I said everything ends some day. We're all gonna die. That's a fact. No matter what. If we die two or twenty years earlier even if it might've been a wrong decision, what does it truly matter?